Is it possible to be 43 and NOT be perimenopausal

[Improbablywrong]

I don’t have any symptoms except that I feel more agitation around my period. Always been like that actually but just a little worse, although we do have other stresses.

Not a single other symptom. My periods are regular as clockwork and have not changed in anyway. I had a blood test done recently and all came back normal.

And yet every single friend I have (same age as me) is talking about perimenopause as if it’s 100% definitely that we are all in it and it is to blame for everything. Bad day at work? Perimenopause. Did a big fart? Perimenopause. Itchy armpit? Perimenopause.

I can’t relate and I find it kind of catastrophising very normal things. When the real symptoms come, how will they feel then? When I say oh no, I don’t think it’s perimenopause as I don’t have symptoms, they’ll list all these things that I don’t think are symptoms.

so, is it possible to actually NOT be perimenopausal as soon as you hit 40?

I turn 49 next month.

I have a whole list of symptoms, including the fact that my periods are very irregular. However, I’ve spent almost all of my adult life not having periods due to contraception. It’s only the latest Mirena coil that went in last year that seems to have restarted them. I remember when I was a teen/early 29s that my periods were never regular. However, I’m now having one every 3 weeks before suddenly going for 7 weeks.

I’m exhausted to the bone. Lifelong anxiety getting really bad at points in my cycle. Sleep disturbances. Peeing more. Physical body aches. The list goes on.

But….

I’m autistic with ADHD. Lots of neurodivergent women tend to have a burnout at my age. And I have been juggling a lot for a very long time. Two DC, both autistic, aged 14yrs, one with very high care needs. Probably both at home for life. Both home educated. Mum with cerebral palsy, she lives in the annexe. Stepdad with heart attack and cancer. Also in the annexe. Both need lots of help/support. DP has been off sick for three years after sudden collapse and has been diagnosed with a neurological condition that means he probably won’t be able to work in any capacity ever again. I cared for my dad until he died 10 yrs ago. He had Huntingtons Disease. Also forgot to say, I was single - ex disappeared when I was 6 weeks pregnant with twins. DC were born prematurely and very unwell in Intensive Care for weeks. When they were born I had to quit my job and set up a business to pay the mortgage which I’ve been working in full time for the past 14 years, alongside doing everything else.

And because I’m a giant idiot I also embarked on a renovation project two years ago when we bought this house for us and DM.

So, with all of that…..am I just bloody shattered? Or am I peri?

My GP has prescribed me low dose HRT oestrogen gel - I’ve had it sat here for the last 4 weeks as I don’t know whether to start it or not.

I also had a B12 deficiency (that I get regularly) so my GP was 50/50 on whether to give me HRT now or wait.

Honestly, I have no idea any more if I’m peri or just burnt out….and no idea whether I should start HRT now or wait…. I don’t want to blame peri if it’s not…

I feel like perimenopause has become a little bit of an internet buzz word at the minute, so it’s getting thrown around a lot when it might not actually be the case. Not saying it definitely isn’t, but I’ve been seeing it a lot online lately.

Agreed. It’s another stick to beat us with at times.

I’m not saying that a lot of women aren’t perimenopausal at this age either, just that not every condition is attributable to that, and telling each other that its because they just haven’t learned enough is contributing to it.

I think you’re all being unreasonable, your friends for wanting to insist you must be peri, and you for for being dismissive of how they feel about their own health. Two sides of the same coin.

Perfectly possible

I don’t comment on other peoples health without invitation. I’m not being dismissive, I’m asking for real investigation in to health issues for older women where it is warranted, outside of the sphere of our reproductive organs.

Fair enough, but that’s not how your OP came across.

I’m 47 and I’m not perimenopausal I don’t think. Periods are like clockwork still. But I do occasionally get heart racing/anxiety for apparently no reason which is a new thing. That could be possibly?

I know what you mean though. Loads of my friends (same age) are on hrt already.

Racing heart/palpitations is one of the symptoms I’ve had too. Never had them before - my blood pressure etc all fine.

I think the thing with peri is that it’s insidious- by the time you realise it’s here, it’s probably been dragging you down for a while, bit by bit.

I was having extremely heavy and frequent periods at your age. I then had the Mirena coil put in and that eliminated my periods
Altogether. I had absolutely no other problems with the perimenopause or menopause. I'm now mid/late 50s and would say I sailed through the menopause. In fact, I didn't even really realise it had happened until
A doctor told me I was post menopausal.
We're all different.

I was sort of lighthearted at the start as a way in, and to try and gauge how women felt about this in general.

The armpits and farts, I promise you, in real life conversation I’ve been told I need a blood test asap (I’d already one! I need daktarin and to lose some weight!) 🤣

And of course to see how many women told me - you MIGHT have perimenopause! Do you even KNOW what it is! Of COURSE you don’t!

And they did.

Be careful what you wish for 😂 I'm 39 with said hot flushes they're horrendous, have to lie on the floor with nausea and faint feeling you feel like you're on fire. then afterwards when you're done with that bit you feel freezing with shivers. What joy it is especially when they occur in a public place.

OP I think far more women go through the early bits of menopause without realising it precisely because their symptoms are not that noticeable and as such miss out on balancing their hormones early enough in a way that can prevent things such as osteoporosis etc. Blood tests are not generally helpful for 'diagnosing' perimenopause initially as hormones fluctuate so much anyway but many gp's still use it and don't seem to actually know that much about it. I'm very fortunate to have a GP who spent years specialising in menopause so have had a much easier time getting my voice heard on the varied symptoms. And yes a heck of a lot of random symptoms can be attributed to menopause including clumsiness, forgetfulness, aches and pains, migraines etc etc. It's not just hot flushes and mood swings. Of course not everyone of that age will be going through it but a huge amount more than was thought a decade ago will be. Keep your magnesium levels up ladies!!

I am 46 and have no physical symtoms. Brain fog, anxiety and exhaustion I have had on and off since having my babies (ergo less sleep) so I can’t really tell the difference.

I was fine at 43, no changes at all. I’m almost 50 now and things are a bit different.

The average age of menopause can vary a lot - eg I’ve been told by the GP that the average age is 56 in Japan.

I'm only really getting a few signs now at 50 (some irregularity in my cycles). Everything was clockwork at 43.

Or subsequent dismissive and, at times, somewhat ignorant posts.

I don't see why this is any different to cancer. We are constantly bombarded with messaging about cancer. Not everyone will get cancer. But the slightest symptom is often listed as a possible symptom.

It's useful to have some information and not be dismissive of this information. Some health issues are more likely for some groups that others based on past medical history and past family history.

A lack of information means you can't make informed decisions. Informed decisions include being able to say 'nope that's not me and not right for me'.

I certainly wasn't aware of a lot of things before. Talking to older friends made me realise that I'm probably at a higher risk. This is useful.

If you have a history of issues relating to hormone sensitivity, depression, post natal or peri natal depression or neuro diversity you MAY be more sensitive to hormone fluctuations.

There are women on this thread who don't know this.

I didn't know that mental health related issues peak during perimenopause. The reasons for this are varied and are thought to be both hormonal and down to life style pressures. But perimenopause can and does tip some women over the edge.

We should know about when to seek support as much as when it's probably not appropriate for you.

46 is the average age when women start to notice symptoms. If they do. Average. People generally seem to have difficulty understanding the concept of average. That means a significant number of women won't experience any symptoms until much later than that. That also means a lot of women will do, and possibly won't be taken seriously because of what the current NHS guidance says and how some GPs are absolute jobs worths.

None of this means you will need to have HRT. Or even wish to try it even if they do have symptoms. Because it's all about informed consent and always retaining the ability to say no. But for others it will be almost life changing. Saying it's just the latest trend or about £££ is really unhelpful and damaging to some.

We certainly should have better awareness of perimenopause because the number of women saying things like 'well I'm pregnant so can't be perimenopausal' or 'you can't be perimenopausal because you still have regular periods' highlight the point.

This isn't a woman health issue for a small number of women. If you live long enough it affects ALL women.

But it seems we can't have a grown up conversation about it without snark.

Correct well said 👏 you can absolutely be peri menopausal and have regular periods.

The age of menopause and the age of perimenopause symptoms starting are different things.

Yes @RedToothBrush I am aware of that. The point is that different ages of menopause will mean different timings for perimenopause too. Ergo if you get to menopause at 56, you are more unlikely to be experiencing the typical 5-10 years of peri symptoms in your early 40s, much like the OP.

Other posters don't seem to aware of that from the content of their posts which have conflated the two throughout this thread.

So I think your clarification above is really useful too.

I believe the average age of menopause in the UK is 53.

Yes 49 and not hit yet!!!! You think it would have. Regular periods and no symptoms.

Why?

Some women don't get pmt or have heavy periods.

But others do.

This is MN, if it's a supply problem at the Supermarket: It's Brexit.

If it's a matter of women's health: Ha! must be peri.

Well, if you head over to the "I'm 36 and he's 23" thread, you'll find out that it's an established FACT that all women will inevitably start to melt and fall apart and become hideous crones when they hit their mid 40s...🙄