Is it possible to be 43 and NOT be perimenopausal

[Improbablywrong]

I don’t have any symptoms except that I feel more agitation around my period. Always been like that actually but just a little worse, although we do have other stresses.

Not a single other symptom. My periods are regular as clockwork and have not changed in anyway. I had a blood test done recently and all came back normal.

And yet every single friend I have (same age as me) is talking about perimenopause as if it’s 100% definitely that we are all in it and it is to blame for everything. Bad day at work? Perimenopause. Did a big fart? Perimenopause. Itchy armpit? Perimenopause.

I can’t relate and I find it kind of catastrophising very normal things. When the real symptoms come, how will they feel then? When I say oh no, I don’t think it’s perimenopause as I don’t have symptoms, they’ll list all these things that I don’t think are symptoms.

so, is it possible to actually NOT be perimenopausal as soon as you hit 40?

@UnaOfStormhold that's good in a way though. You can attribute those symptoms to hormones rather than anything else.

I am more anxious in general and frequently weepy around ovulation and the week prior to starting my period.

I laugh as people used to remark how laid back I was!

No symptoms here and I'm 46!

Started with me at 49 so YANBU

I haven’t said this on MN but it does seem a way to write women off. Like they have every stage of life covered by hormones now. I’m surprised more women aren’t concerned about it.

Especially in the workplace- you’re a hormonal problem from childbearing age right up to retirement. This doesn’t help anyone IMHO. If you have a health issue, you need help. You discuss with doctor and line management as needed.

Relentless talk about peri and menopause is seemingly everywhere. My sister took annual leave to avoid the compulsory attendance workshop on the subject. We just want to get on with our lives without all this “raising awareness”.

I'm 45 and no symptoms either. I think it has just been talked about a lot recently so we're all hyper aware. But I still get my period every 28 days.

One of my favourite peri facts is that while women's performance on some memory related tasks does decline, on average it declines almost to the same level as men!

I knew a woman who attributed almost everything to perimenopause. Dry skin? Peri. Anxious? Peri. A spot? Peri. Twitchy eye? Peri. Hungry? Peri. Headache? Definitely peri.

She was 37! When I queried it she said 'perimenopause starts much earlier than people think'. It was very odd.

On MN someone could post about how depressed and anxious they are ever since their husband ran off with the milkman, her roof has caved in and her mattress stuffed with her life savings was dragged away by wolves. I guarantee at least one poster will say 'sounds like peri'.

This pisses me off no end. We don’t have to ever consider that maybe women are pissed off bevause people are treating them like shit. Always has to be hormones doesn’t it.

I'm glad that it's generally more acceptable to discuss peri, menopause and PMDD these days, but in some contexts it does seem to be the new 'are you on your period, luv'?

And also, a lot of companies are making a fuck ton of money off the back of it, trying to convince women that their feelings are perimenopause related and if they take one of their supplements they'll be fine.

Edited to add that the one episode of Davina McCall's menopause series I saw pissed me off no end. She had a coil fitted and acted like it was nothing more than an awkward, slightly uncomfortable procedure, with no acknowledgement of how painful and/or traumatic it is for many women. She then went on to act like HRT was no big deal either, again with no acknowledgement of how many women struggle with it. I've personally found HRT a nightmare.

While I am on the topic, did you know that things like low iron and/or Vit D can cause brain fog, lethargy, anxiety and depression?

Take iron as a good example. The guidelines for ferritin levels are set at anything above 30 being in normal range. Whereas, I have read papers on pubmed that have said for a menstruating woman, if her levels are below 75 she should be treated for iron deficiency and if they’re below 100 AND she is presenting with symptoms of low iron, she should be treated.

Now lets say you’re in your 40s and you go to a GP and describe these symptoms, they will probably do a cursory blood test for you but will tell you everything is normal if your ferritin level is say, 35. They may then dismiss it as peri and not bother treat you for it. Or worse, treat you with something you don’t need such as HRT or anti depressants.

Know why? Because a ferritin level of 30 is perfectly acceptable for a man. But not for a menstruating woman.

Imagine how many other deficiencies or easy fixes are treated incorrectly because a GP leaps to ‘hormones’ as a reason…

Of course it isn't guaranteed. I didn't hit meno until I was well into my 50s, certainly nothing warning until 2/3 years before that.

Today in AIBU, first reply

Does anyone else feel like they just exist?
8 replies

Hernamewaslola22 · Today 17:29
I feel like I just exist, moving through life, going through the motions. Nothing really makes me happy and nothing really makes me sad. Does anyone else feel like this? How do I stop feeling like this?

Lentilweaver · Today 17:30

Are you peri menopausal?