Is it possible to be 43 and NOT be perimenopausal

[Improbablywrong]

I don’t have any symptoms except that I feel more agitation around my period. Always been like that actually but just a little worse, although we do have other stresses.

Not a single other symptom. My periods are regular as clockwork and have not changed in anyway. I had a blood test done recently and all came back normal.

And yet every single friend I have (same age as me) is talking about perimenopause as if it’s 100% definitely that we are all in it and it is to blame for everything. Bad day at work? Perimenopause. Did a big fart? Perimenopause. Itchy armpit? Perimenopause.

I can’t relate and I find it kind of catastrophising very normal things. When the real symptoms come, how will they feel then? When I say oh no, I don’t think it’s perimenopause as I don’t have symptoms, they’ll list all these things that I don’t think are symptoms.

so, is it possible to actually NOT be perimenopausal as soon as you hit 40?

That's awesome, but is also nothing to do with being peri or not. You are fertile as long as you are having periods. I wish women understood this more!

I struggle a bit with this. I’ve been suffering with symptoms for 3-4 years. I remember reading an article listing fifty odd symptoms associated with the menopause and I had thirty nine of them. Hot flushes, brain fog, the lot. But I’m still regular. Occasionally I’ll be a week late, maybe once every six months or so, but they don’t seem to be going anywhere. My mum finished at 45 and I’m knocking on for fifty now, so really keen for the symptoms to clear off. There doesn’t seem much point going to the dr as I can’t have hrt, but I’m very much looking forward to my brain working properly again.

That is the point I was trying to make - the list of symptoms is very, very long. Those ‘perimenopause’ symptoms could very easily be something else. Potentially something serious.

FWIW OP I do agree that it's boring when EVERYTHING is put down to this one thing.

I'm just saying that however annoying it is for you, I experienced the flip side where GPs just kept telling me I was depressed when I was actually peri. So I think I'm just hypersensitive to misinformation like "regular periods means not peri" or "I got pregnant at 45 so obviously not peri" which are just rubbish.

I also don't have friends saying it about everything so I can imagine that would be dull. x

Wrong, sorry. I am peri-menopausal and have been for more than three years but my periods are still absolutely bang-on every 28 days.

My mum is 58 and only in the last year has started showing symptoms!

Every woman is different.

Plus lots of women have children in their early 40's.

Being fertile does not mean you aren't perimenopausal.

Sorry, OP - but you say you know what it is, but you agreed with the post about regular periods, which means you actually might not.

I am not invested in whether you are/aren't in peri. I truly don't care and absolutely agree with you that it's likely used to fob women off. But it's also missed when women don't know what the symptoms are, and you are one of those women who don't know.

You can have regular periods and be peri.
You can have a baby and be peri.
You are fertile until the day your periods stop, so why people think one cancels the other out is extraordinary.

I am not trying to be argumentative, I just feel strongly about misinformation regarding peri/menopause. If you aren't affected that's great, many are and it's important we keep information correct.

Due to a chronic condition I've had many menopause symptomatic since I was in my late teens; joint aches, insomnia, hot flushes, night sweats, itchy, crawly or dry skin, exhaustion and fatigue, headaches or migraines, feeling anxious, difficulty concentrating, brain fog, forgetfulness. Not sure how I'd notice menopause on top of how awful my body feels currently.

Well because, as I say, the symptoms are weird and obscure. You might think you're fine and just have frozen shoulder for instance.

I get you're annoyed but it's a positive thing that women are more aware, and yes, it's a hot topic because you're in the age group where symptoms start to manifest. Count yourself extremely lucky you're not experiencing anything.

I went to several doctors during my peri phase and was offered anti-depressants and asked 'Is everything ok at home?" which frankly, is absolutely shocking treatment.

I have painful periods - always have. And anxiety - always have. When I was a teen I was told it is puberty (up until I was mid-20s). Later, I was told it was PMS. 40 now, and for the last couple of years it has been - probably perimenopause. This is despite regular as clockwork periods!

Oh, and just to add, it's a very complicated field and doctors know absolutely fuck all about it. Women are having to do their own research and find their own treatments. That's why everyone's talking about it.

Research PMDD OP. Similar age, not sure if peri, periods have gone slightly irregular. But OMG my symptoms before and after my period are worse than ever and I think it’s PMDD poss brought on by hormone changes.

I am 48 and I have not seen any signs of it. I still have regular periods every 28 days with a light flow for 3-4 days same as I have always had. No hot flushes or the brain fog that is commonly reported.

I have friends younger who have symptoms but it’s an age range not by an age -if you get what mean.

It can be difficult to know. Many symptoms are relevant to other things, too. Insomnia - yes, it might be down to peri, but it's also been my body's go-to stress response since I was at school, and my stress levels are high lately. My ankles (or my right one in particular) have been prone to aching since a series of injuries in my early 20s. And feeling anger is probably a perfectly reasonable response to the world these days.

My periods started going irregular when I was 49. Now 52. The last one (about 2 months ago) could have been the last one ever, or it might just be spacing things out. But I've friends who've had really debilitating symptoms and HRT has been a great help to them. I don't know that I might yet have those symptoms and need HRT - I just haven't yet.

Puberty didn't start with your first period. Peri is the same in the other direction. And we're all different. So you might not be there yet, or you might be in early days. You may sail through symptom-free, or you might find it difficult. None of us knows till we get there.

“you’d think so” is what I said.

you are one of those women who don't know

Given that I am the one living in my skin, and my body, and feeling my emotions I DO KNOW.

You are welcome to put together a handy PowerPoint for me; but it still wont change my hormone levels or make me any more perimenopausal than I was before.

Telling women they don’t know their own bodies is all I’m hearing.

The fact that you think it's all emotional is a good indication that you actually don't know,

As others have said, it is perfectly possible not to experience perimenopausal symptoms at 43 - some people never do!
What I would say is that perimenopause creeps up on you, and often you don't realise it's happening. It's not like one day you're fine and the next day you have irregular periods, migraines, panic attacks, low mood, poor sleep etc. I've found that I might have one symptom for a few weeks, then that disappears, and then I have a different symptom. In isolation, none of these symptoms would make me think I was perimenopausal, but when I look at the pattern of symptoms over several years, then I can how it all relates to hormonal fluctuations.
For example, I might feel a bit flat for a few weeks, and I think, "Am I getting depressed, oh no, it's just because works been so busy, I'm tired, etc." Then I feel normal again. Then I might have a week or so of bad sleep and I can always explain it away andvfind reasons why. A few months later I might find myself feeling quite panicky in certain situations but then it stops, and I feel normal again. It's all quite odd. It comes and goes and sometimes you think you're just imagining it, and others times you feel like a mess.

Who exactly is telling you that you're in peri, though? Nice guidelines for Drs state HRT from 45 and even then it can be hard to get. So it doesn't ring true that your Dr is blaming peri for your ailments.

Is it more your friends? Fair enough if you're bored I guess, but it's such a short time women have actually been 'allowed' to talk about menopause at all. I'd hate a backlash to start already.

I agree.

Whilst I think it is important that we don't attribute everything to perimenopause, I also find the lack of good knowledge about it on this thread somewhat alarming too.

A lot of women are being phobed off by doctors for it not being perimenopause when they shouldn't be as much as those are being told it is when it's not.

Neither is ok. Both extremes demonstrate significant ignorance about the subject still.

I know that it’s not all emotional. Which is why when I say have none of the symptoms, my friends (and women at large) are here to tell me that I’m wrong and just don’t know. I’ve said in my opening post that farts, and itching are included. They aren’t emotional. I’m aware there are several other symptoms, I’ve mentioned dry mouth, not sleeping etc.

Also I do find it very interesting the number of women who start HRT and then realise with the benefit of hindsight how much of a boiled frog they've been.

I don't think we should dismiss this lightly either.

Every woman I know is talking about it. Bad nights sleep, needing a wee, “oooh it must be my menopause coming”

could be a million things but let’s just immediately to the thing that held women down for decades - their hormones.

In fact the more I talk about this the more it feels like mansplaining but from other women.

Nah, you just don't like what you're hearing.