Making packed lunch

[Crystallizedring]

This has come up quite a few times in our house and wondering if I'm mean or unreasonable. It's mostly light hearted.
Since day 2 of secondary school my DDs have been responsible for sorting out their lunch for school/college, either taking in food or buying food but even now they tell me friends still get their lunch made for them. Some of these kids are 17!
I thought they were winding me up but have actually had it confirmed by parents that they make packed lunch. So I'm wondering if I'm unreasonable to say no, do it yourself (or take money in).
I am a SAHM for our youngest (4) with additional needs so I could do it but it's one less thing if they do it. DH also does his own lunch event though apparently everyone he works with has a wife who does it.
So do you make packed lunch for your kids at college or secondary school?
YABU you should make your kids packed lunch
YANBU they should make it themselves.

I think it depends on family dynamics.

Sometimes I do the packed lunches because I'm doing myself one and/or there's certain foods I want using.up.

Sometimes my DC make their own.

I refuse to make packed lunches at all except on school trip days when they are required.

I do my husband’s now and then if i’m doing it for myself anyway and I currently do both of my toddlers obviously because they can’t sort it themselves but I’d also do it for them when there older too if I have the time why not

I sometimes make my daughter's (she is in college), she sometimes makes mine. She is more then capable but I like to do things for her at times and she likes to do things for me.

Mine started making their lunch for school when they were about 7. I was rushing around one morning trying to get their lunches sorted before finishing getting ready and I had an epiphany. I realised that there were two capable children sitting doing nothing whilst I was flitting around. From that moment they made their own packed lunches. So many people questioned me regarding it. I just would say, it’s a sandwich, some fruit and a yogurt, they can handle it.

Looks like I'm a bit of a mean mum then. I just think I do everything else surely they can do lunch.

I with boil pasta for dd15 to use to make her pasta and pesto which she likes to take in her lunch (either because I’m there cooking anyway or just to be nice). But she will reheat in the morning, mix it together and put in the flask etc, put whatever other things she wants in her lunch box, so I’m not doing much of it for her!

It's not unreasonable at all.

Mine would have just packed shit or not eaten though so we made them.

My dd is 11 and she makes her own lunches. It just sort of happened, she is often up early and stated making them before I got to it, she likes to feel independent.

A lot of parents don’t give their children credit for what they’re actually capable of. Mine also cooked one meal a week from 13 did their own laundry from 16.

I usually only make my own - maybe sometimes for dh as well if I have batch cooked some lunch stuff. Dh does proper packed lunch for one at primary. He does a basic sandwich for the eldest at the same time but they do the rest. Middle one likes to make their own.

I'm quite lucky in that respect. DD2 packed ham sandwich, carrot sticks, chopped peppers and cucumber, grapes and yoghurt. She's on a health kick at the moment.
DD1 always takes money. I think I'm following what my mum did which was secondary school make your own lunch.
Although I do remember being slightly annoyed when my brother moved home in his 20s( (I was still at secondary school) and she started making packed lunch for him but I still had to do my own. Luckily she stopped after about a week.

If you're making your own fair enough but at high school they absolutely should be capable of doing their own!! Sounds like laziness!

I make my 13 and 9 year olds and also make DH's when he goes into the office. My DM made mine, my DB's and DF's until I left home so I am just following on from her.

We made our own from age 12 (S1 High School) onwards.
There was sometimes horse trading, in that (there were three of us, plus my parents, who all took a pack-up), we might say 'You do them all today, and I'll do them all on Wednesday', or the like. The only time Mum - or Dad - did them for us all was if we had a particularly late night (cinema/family visit/exams for example), or sometimes my Mum chucked us all £3 - yes, I'm that old - and said to buy something.
There was always a lot of packed lunch items in the house, though - so, yoghurts, dried fruit packs, crisps/nuts. Meant all we had to do was make a sandwich, package up leftovers, etc., and grab something from the fruit bowl. It was a good way to get us to take responsibility, and also for our parents to know we were eating properly.

I'd have thought a 16/17 year old was more than capable of doing this for themselves.

17 year old should definitely make their own lunch, as should your DH. But personally I'd be making it for the first few years of secondary.

Same. I worked out buying lunches would be £7k a year so I spent it on holidays instead

Mine have made their own since about 7. It started when they didn't want school dinners on my working days so I said it was fine to have packed lunches those days but they'd have to make it.

They then started doing their own every day and have done since (now 17 and 16).

There is plenty of food in the house and they are pretty healthy in their choices so all good.

I work more than full time and start my day at 6am walking the dog and leave for work at 7.30 so they def have more time than me!

I still make lunch for mine too.
They are perfectly capable of doing it themselves but lunch isn't a priority for them so they'll happily just not eat sometimes. Or they'll just buy a drink and a cookie which I don't think is substantial enough, especially on Games/Pe days.

So I make it for them for my own piece of mind that they've eaten. They will sometimes make what they want too.

If I dont make it because I've been busy with other things, they're not bothered about it at all.

You're not a mean mum to expect your child to make it if you don't want to.

Probably stems from me and my sister making our own as my mum worked FT too 🤷‍♀️

Do what you like but don't judge others. We all have our own circumstances.

I made my daughter's lunch until the end of secondary. Reason being that she has a younger brother with additional needs who will need his done. I could make her do it, but I was making one anyway and it was a little way I could make her feel nurtured rather than yet another instance of "you're not my SN one so you get less looking after". (Also it upped her veg intake.)

Both regularly do their own lunch and her sandwich making skills are fine. We are a bit behind on her learning to cook simple dinners, largely because it's one of those things that drops down the priority list when life is giving you lemons. She's handling enough at the moment - we'll get the basics into her before uni and that is good enough.

My DC have made their own since about Y7. I could do it but it's good for them to be independent. They get a food allowance which they can choose to spend in the canteen OR make a packed lunch then they get to keep that money (£10 per week). They choose to make their own lunch and keep the money to spend on going out etc. They don't get any other allowance.

My 10yo was making hers last year but we've agreed she'll do extra homework in the morning if I make it. My 7yo will grab bits from the cupboards while I make her wrap. And they usually make their own weekend lunch which is the same foods usually so do know how and what makes a balanced plate etc.

I genuinely don’t understand individual members of a family doing their own laundry. It just seems inefficient. A teen should be able to put a wash on, sure, but just their own stuff? Senseless.

I'm not judging anyone. I'm asking for opinions about when children make their own lunch. How is that judgemental? I don't mind if parents make their children's lunch in their 30s, I'm just asking if I'm unreasonable to make my 17 year old make her own lunch.