Making packed lunch

[Crystallizedring]

This has come up quite a few times in our house and wondering if I'm mean or unreasonable. It's mostly light hearted.
Since day 2 of secondary school my DDs have been responsible for sorting out their lunch for school/college, either taking in food or buying food but even now they tell me friends still get their lunch made for them. Some of these kids are 17!
I thought they were winding me up but have actually had it confirmed by parents that they make packed lunch. So I'm wondering if I'm unreasonable to say no, do it yourself (or take money in).
I am a SAHM for our youngest (4) with additional needs so I could do it but it's one less thing if they do it. DH also does his own lunch event though apparently everyone he works with has a wife who does it.
So do you make packed lunch for your kids at college or secondary school?
YABU you should make your kids packed lunch
YANBU they should make it themselves.

DH and I do make 14 year old DS's packed lunch, partly because if we didn't half the time he would probably just buy a sandwich or something less healthy at school, which would be more expensive. Also it takes hardly any time, especially if i am doing my own (on days when I work in the office).

He does often sort out his own lunch at home though.

I make my 17 year olds packed lunch. She cooks dinner several days a week . It just what works in your family.

Oh God, I can barely get my 16yo out the door in the mornings. There is no way I'm adding extra stress by making him responsible for his own lunch. He's awaiting ASD assessment and, although very capable in many ways, ensuring that he has enough food to eat and air to breathe is not within his scope😆 Just to say, my mum always made my lunch, right up through secondary school. I was very grateful and I didn't turn into a person incapable of sorting their own lunch. What's the big deal with making a child's lunch anyway? Unless you don't have the time.

7k a year works out 36 pounds a day -- what on earth are they having for lunch??

Because DH ruins my nice things
So I did the laundry

I would ask for laundry, put it on and then find the bin overflowing later as rooms were tidied.

Only one DS and so we each did our own
He actually enjoyed it
No drama or overflowing bins and I have a machine that weighs and processes according to weight
No issues at all and I just do my own laundry, usually one load per week sometimes 2.
Bliss

I was a sahm for ten years. I made all the packed lunches, but I did it the night before. I don't mind making lunches though.

I get up and make my 14year old breakfast & packed lunch just because I like doing it. I could actually get up a bit later, but it doesn't seem very nice. My 18year old has just started work, and obviously sorts himself out though

Hmmm. I read it in a magazine. Maybe it's not £7k a year. £7 per day for the kids and then a fiver for the husband.
Oops. Ach well, at least I got a holiday out of it 😂

Combining it then sharing it out again doesn't save work, it adds to it. It's more complicated because everyone has to learn to identify every item of clothing, and you're adding extra jobs of moving every item of dirty clothing into one communal space, sorting every clean item into separate piles, and someone taking on each stage of the process. Doing it communally may run harmoniously with everyone leaping up to help as soon as the load is dry, but in practice it tends to live in one or two people's mental to do list while the others forget and having to be cajoled. Then the cajoling is yet another task. I used to wash and hang out 56 socks a week and someone had to sort those 56 socks into 28 pairs and then 4 piles of pairs, remembering who owns every single one. Then those 4 piles had to be conveyed separately to 4 different rooms. Whereas when DD does her own washing, everyone gets a simpler task. Combining the washing increases the complexity of the job exponentially.

I mean it's not a big drama. I can sort 56 socks, I can delegate my teenager to do so, I can fold a wash and sort into piles as can my husband. But it's not simpler than everyone doing their own when they have enough in their basket. DD doing her own is massively more helpful to me than her folding a communal wash when I ask, and it's better for her to be taking ownership.

Just a cautionary tale my mum stopped making my packed lunches when I was 16 and just gave me money instead. BUT I was given no advice or prompting about meal planning or healthy choices by my parents. As a result I used to eat utter crap from the canteen and put on a lot of weight. So if you let them fend for themselves give them advice and support first.

I make my 14 year old DDs. I am making my 7 year old's anyway and she has a long walk to school and has to get up early so I don't mind doing it. I think she needs to start making herself some simple meals though so was going to start that with her this year

Absolutely family dynamics! I make my 17 year old DD's lunch as she has an eating disorder / no interest in food. If I didn't make it for her she wouldn't bother and we would get in a bad cycle.
I make my year 8 child's lunch as we are rural and he leaves the house at 7.20AM. He's fully aware that if he left for school later I would not make his lunch for him.
I would love my children to make their own lunch and would in a different situation.

I make the whole family's packed lunches regardless of age. Just something I do

Yeah also this. I wfh now and live alone with my daughter. I get up earlier than I have to (technically) and sort breakfast/see her out the door. Seems a bit miserable for her to be sorting herself out while I get another half hour in bed.

Haha! I was momentarily excited thinking I would be able to have a luxury holiday due to mine being on free infant school meals...

It still works out about 2k per year I think assuming home made lunch costs £1 and you're doing 3 lunches in total. So a good saving

If I was staying in bed while my kids made their own lunch I’d probably feel a bit shit too. Im not though, I’m up and about, getting myself ready for work, chatting to them about what they’ve got on at school that day and evening plans, sorting out my younger disabled child as he is unable to dress himself etc etc.

From secondary school, I would expect my children to make their own lunches. I think I would supervise though, dependant on the child. I know that I started making my own lunches at 11 and didn't pack anything remotely healthy (except the sandwich, which I promptly binned at school).

You’d have to have loads of junk food in the house for the kids to only pack junk though. We don’t have that stuff, so they couldn’t pack it even if they wanted to (they don’t).

My daughter has just started year 4, she makes her own packed lunch. She might ask for my help with chopping her raw veg (carrot, pepper, cucumber) but makes her own sandwich and adds fruit, crisps and does her own drink.

Dd is in Y7 and I do make her packed lunch. It’s a transition period. She’s never really taken packed lunches before, so it’s just me making sure it’s got sufficient decent food in it and it gets done on time (we also have to leave 45 minutes earlier to drive to bus stop, so it’s a new routine for all of us).

Will I do it forever? No. Sometime in the next few months, we’ll transition to her packing her own lunch (she has done it before for school trips, transition days, etc). I will not be still doing it at 17. When I was her age, I was cooking my own dinners and doing my own washing. So she is perfectly capable, it’s just to help her out for a bit.

I have never in 15 years made Dh a packed lunch though. 😂

If my daughter (16, just started yr 12) wants a packed lunch I make it for her. I also cook her breakfast most mornings too. It's something I have time for, and I enjoy knowing she has started the day with a good meal and has something healthy, that she'll enjoy, for lunch.
She could do both things herself, and she does plenty of other things around the house as well as a part time job, but this is one thing I'll continue to do for her.

@Crystallizedring my kids have been making their packed lunches for nearly 2 years. They are 12.

I should have said I am single and work full time. So I don't have time. It is something they can do easily before I even finish work.

Mine are 15 and 13 (Y11 and Y8) and I always make their lunches.

I don't have much free time to give them in the week, I make their lunch as a way of showing I care about them etc etc

My husband makes the kids packed lunches when he makes his own. If he’s got a work lunch he still makes the kids their packed lunches.