Making packed lunch

[Crystallizedring]

This has come up quite a few times in our house and wondering if I'm mean or unreasonable. It's mostly light hearted.
Since day 2 of secondary school my DDs have been responsible for sorting out their lunch for school/college, either taking in food or buying food but even now they tell me friends still get their lunch made for them. Some of these kids are 17!
I thought they were winding me up but have actually had it confirmed by parents that they make packed lunch. So I'm wondering if I'm unreasonable to say no, do it yourself (or take money in).
I am a SAHM for our youngest (4) with additional needs so I could do it but it's one less thing if they do it. DH also does his own lunch event though apparently everyone he works with has a wife who does it.
So do you make packed lunch for your kids at college or secondary school?
YABU you should make your kids packed lunch
YANBU they should make it themselves.

If I was making a packed lunch for myself, it was just as easy to make sandwiches for everyone, and minimal effort to throw other stuff into lunchboxes at the same time.

I read threads like this, and I'm mystified. I envisage a queuing system in peoples' kitchens so everyone can take their turn to make their own, because mum or dad "refuses" to do it for others. Makes no sense to me.

My DC are16,14 and 11. I make the sandwiches/wraps/pasta salad but they get the rest of their packed lunch together. 16yo now mainly gets their own as they’ve just started sixth form so they’re enjoying the novelty of going out of school at lunch.

There was a time when I did do pack ups for everyone but I made them as I cooked dinner so it was no bother. It was chopped salad with protein, lots of ingredients. When DS went to secondary school he sorted himself out and ended up running a small food business selling to friends at school as well.

That's my take on it too. Looking at the chaos caused by everyone trying to get through the bathroom, having that chaos at the fridge door too would be unbearable.

Own laundry here
Otherwise it's a huge job for one person
Got sick of things being dumped in the wash whilst tidying.
They need to learn how to do it , be responsible for it, washing and putting away.

Packed lunches I love doing
On MN its a bloody crime to do something nice for others
Yes they are perfectly capable of cooking etc
I liked doing it and gasp I liked cooking them breakfast as well.

If someone else needs a packed lunch and I'm making my own, I will make an extra one

My adult son is living with us at the moment and he plays cricket on a Sunday and needs a packed lunch - he more than happily does his own but if I'm up and making breakfast, I will make him one

Just as Dp makes me a coffee every morning even if he isn't having one

I think it's the little things you do for each other that can make relationships!

I also think if you don't have time to do it, it's perfectly reasonable that you don't @Crystallizedring . 4 is a difficult age as it is without the additional needs added in!

But it's only 2 people making packed lunch DH and DD2 (as DD1 tales money) and they often do it at the same time as kitchen is big enough. It's fine if you enjoy it, I just find it a chore. I do cook every evening for everyone and I will get them a cup of tea in the morning ( they don't eat breakfast in the week). So I'm not totally horrible but like I said 3am starts leave me exhausted.

My 10 and 9 year olds make their own. DH and I don’t have packed lunches so it’s not like I’m making some and refusing to do theirs 🤷🏻‍♀️. No queueing system, they just stand next to each other happily doing it. They enjoy it! They also cook an evening meal/bake together (with supervision). It makes them feel grown up and responsible.
I think some people don’t realise that all families/households are different and they can’t envisage anything other than their own set up.

My Dmum made my packed lunch right up until I moved into my own house!
I think she would have been offended if I said I wanted to do it.

Why does laubdry being done together mean it’s one person doing it? Share that out, but with a load of everyone’s. I live alone and often have to put loads on that aren’t full because I don’t make enough. Would be silly to do that when there’s other laundry in the house.

Crikey, I made my DC start packing theirs in year 5! We have lots of easy things for them to throw in so they know the drill and now they’re all secondary school age, it’s just second nature and takes them 5 mins max.

My DC helped with theirs from about 7. We had a table (that they drew up and illustrated) divided into sections, one main thing (sandwiches, pasta salad, pies,) one protein snack (humus, boiled egg, cheese slices, baby bels, fromage frais etc), one veg/fruit/salad, one drink, and one treat. They were responsible for making sure that they had picked one thing from each group and making sure they were in the box. I was responsible for making sure we had a selection for them to pick from and chopping salads and cooking anything necessary.

it was a lot of food so often they didn't get to eat the treat as they were full up. That became a going home bonus.

We set the expectation from the 1st day that it's DC job to sort food. He gets a budget per week for canteen and it's up to him to make it last and then do packed lunches on days he won't have time to queue / when cash has run out.

But then we regularly sort it for him especially if out late with clubs etc - but the difference is we get a big thank you for sorting out my lunch rather than feeling entitled / expecting someone else to do it.

Best of both worlds

Mum isn't making a lunch in this instance!

You are not unreasonable. We made them from secondary school as we refused to have school meals at that point. No great hardship. We all made it and cleaned up separately.

I think it depends on a lot of things.

Some people need their kitchen to look spotless at all times, if you have a child making food they will start out messy.

If you are meal planning and on a tight budget you might not want child A pinching child B's crisps.

If you are already making 2 it might be as easy to pack for 3 or 4.

Can you trust the child to pack something nutritious and not just a packet of chocolate biscuits.

Growing up my mum made my brother's packed lunch but I had to make my own.

I made mine and my Dad's lunches all the way through high school (and used to moan about it quite a bit!).
We have a few kids (most of them grown now), I always made theirs and DH's lunch, it was just far less stress than having too many people fighting over the kitchen and cost less as I coukd plan better.
I still do DS's lunch as he is disabled and it's one thing I can do to help him, I do DH's at the same time.

There's no right way, in fact I lean a little bit towards thinking OPs way of making the kids independent is better, but it was just easier to do them myself.

Laundry though - I salute those of you who manage to get teens doing their own laundry. That's one I gave up on, was sick of wet stinky clothes being left in the washer, piles of clothes everywhere, or the house smelling of damp clothes. It was carnage!

I always made packed lunches for my daughter when she didn't have school meals, which was most of the time. It took a few minutes and I could be sure she was eating reasonable food at lunchtime. I never expected her to make her own lunch.

Most kids from the age of about 8 should be able to pack a reasonable lunch though. Mine have always known to include a fruit and/or veg. A savoury main item, snack item and only a v small sweet treat.

When DD started making her own lunch we gave her a template to follow

• a bready thing - wrap, sandwich, crackers etc
• a dairy thing - yoghurt, cheese
• fruit
• veg
• a snack thing - crisps, breadsticks, fruit rollup

Now it's automatic, and she packs those items every day. It takes her a couple of minutes and she's proud of the fact she does it herself.

Exactly. An example of a packed lunch my 10 and 9 year olds make for themselves is a ham and cheese wrap, some chopped cucumber and cherry tomatoes, a yoghurt and a piece of fruit. It wouldn’t occur to them to pack a load of junk food, as that’s not what they eat day to day.

Mine were responsible for their own packed lunches from upper primary. I can't eat much bread and I generally take a salad, soup or a tub of leftovers for my lunch so I wasn't making sandwiches for myself and DH has always WFH so he has never needed a packed lunch. I made sure that there was always plenty of choice for them and there were always emergency sandwiches in the freezer if they ran out of time. It gave them some independence and meant that they always had what they wanted rather than something that I had chosen for them.

As for laundry, we have a Kallax unit in our utility room with labelled tubs for different colours/types of laundry and when a tub is full, that's a load so everyone knows that if they bring theirs down and it fills a tub they should put a load on.

I'm a SAHM. I make all three kids packed lunches for school everyday and my husband's lunch for work everyday. Kids are all in primary ATM but I'll continue to make them through secondary if they still want me to.

I wouldn't

I think my dds did their own

Ds was another matter and half the time didn't eat the sandwiches