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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Upset about a wedding song

145 replies

Kaandii · 09/09/2024 09:40

So my girlfriend is a songwriter, before we met she would only write sad depressing songs. A few months into our relationship she wrote a new song for me that was the complete opposite of what she usually did, it was a happy love song all about how she feels about me and how I make her feel.
Fast forward a little to one of her friends getting married, the friend (female) wants my girlfriend to sing her down the aisle and the song she has decided on is this one, the one that was written specifically for me.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? Is it wrong to think that this is MY song? I will obviously be at the wedding and I just know it’s going to crush me and I don’t really know what to do about it.

OP posts:
loropianalover · 09/09/2024 09:41

Why would it ‘crush’ you?

MartinCrieffsLemon · 09/09/2024 09:43

It's not YOUR song
It's HER song

You made her understand love and she used that to write a song which she is now sharing

She's sharing YOUR love

Get over yourself

GandTtwice · 09/09/2024 09:43

Surely you'd be proud of your girlfriend - she's written a song (inspired by you) that other people like so much they want to hear it played at their wedding.

OrwellianTimes · 09/09/2024 09:44

I think every amazing love song in history has been written about an individual (some of them even get named in the song), and millions of people enjoy them, hundreds play them for first dance or walking down the aisle.

I think you should be flattered, you have a talented girlfriend who wants to boast about the love you share. What’s not to like?

Changeyourfuckingcar · 09/09/2024 09:44

Oh behave yourself. It’s not your song, it’s hers and she’s happy to perform it, obviously, as she should be. It’s still about you, why on earth would other people hearing it crush you?

KhakiShaker · 09/09/2024 09:44

Try to reframe it. She wrote this happy song for and about you, and clearly she meant every word of it because now she’s using it for her friend’s wedding!

If it upsets you that much then talk to her, but I really think you should see this as flattering

TheRavenSaid · 09/09/2024 09:45

You're going to be 'crushed' when she sings it?

Really?

ElderMrs · 09/09/2024 09:46

Don't be daft.

Every love song written is about someone else, they can't be only allowed for use by the person they were written for.

ForeveraBluebird · 09/09/2024 09:47

It would be amazing to have a song you’ve written chosen for a friends wedding.
Think how brilliant this must make your girlfriend feel and don’t spoil it by being so negative.

Todaysbetterthanyesterday · 09/09/2024 09:48

lol 😂 so funny and perfect for Monday Morning! You are literally the most silly person on the internet right now.

CuriousGeorge80 · 09/09/2024 09:48

Don’t be so ludicrous! I genuinely think this may be the most ridiculous overreaction I have ever read on this site!

CuriousGeorge80 · 09/09/2024 09:48

Hold on, is it a reverse?

Sethera · 09/09/2024 09:49

GandTtwice · 09/09/2024 09:43

Surely you'd be proud of your girlfriend - she's written a song (inspired by you) that other people like so much they want to hear it played at their wedding.

This! You should be chuffed to bits on her behalf.

Thepeopleversuswork · 09/09/2024 09:49

This is ridiculous. Applying this logic the only person who would be allowed to play “Candle in the Wind” would be Marilyn Monroe (who died before the song was composed).

Get a grip before your girlfriend ditches you for being such a drama llama.

AllHisCaterpillarFriends · 09/09/2024 09:50

If is a reverse, then there are so many red flags- song writer should LTB. Controlling and weird.

ElderMrs · 09/09/2024 09:50

Thepeopleversuswork · 09/09/2024 09:49

This is ridiculous. Applying this logic the only person who would be allowed to play “Candle in the Wind” would be Marilyn Monroe (who died before the song was composed).

Get a grip before your girlfriend ditches you for being such a drama llama.

I bet MR was fuming in her grave over Diana.

DecafGreen · 09/09/2024 09:51

I would be bursting with pride if I were you. She sounds like a wonderful girlfriend.

Snugglemonkey · 09/09/2024 09:51

Is there a backstory explaining why you would be crushed?

DadJoke · 09/09/2024 09:52

Imagine being “crushed” when you were the inspiration for your talented gf to write a song which is so good her friend wants it performed at her wedding. You should be glowing with pride!

if you keep this up she’ll be singing Joni Mitchell at you.

Thepeopleversuswork · 09/09/2024 09:53

@ElderMrs

I bet MR was fuming in her grave over Diana.

Such a desecration of that song. Never forgiven Elton John for massacring it in that way. (I digress).

ForGreyKoala · 09/09/2024 09:54

Oh get over yourself!! As others have already said, she might have been inspired by you to write the song but it is still her song. Your poor girlfriend, having to deal with such a dramatic partner - "crushed" indeed!

Original poster
Kaandii · 09/09/2024 09:55

Snugglemonkey · 09/09/2024 09:51

Is there a backstory explaining why you would be crushed?

Ok so the thing is that it has been shared with all of our friends and family and I have no issue with that at all. I am super proud of her and have no desire to keep the song from anyone else.
I obviously love the song and it’s special to me so I had previously expressed some desire to have it as a potential wedding song for US. So it hurts that someone else wants to use it first.

OP posts:
offyoujollywelltrot · 09/09/2024 09:57

Please go outside and get some fresh air.

🙄

Idontjetwashthefucker · 09/09/2024 09:57

Crushed? All very dramatic

MartinCrieffsLemon · 09/09/2024 09:59

Kaandii · 09/09/2024 09:55

Ok so the thing is that it has been shared with all of our friends and family and I have no issue with that at all. I am super proud of her and have no desire to keep the song from anyone else.
I obviously love the song and it’s special to me so I had previously expressed some desire to have it as a potential wedding song for US. So it hurts that someone else wants to use it first.

Show quote history

So?

Wedding songs can be used more than once you know

It's not even a private song she's never shared with anyone else

They all know it anyway