Upset about a wedding song

[Kaandii]

So my girlfriend is a songwriter, before we met she would only write sad depressing songs. A few months into our relationship she wrote a new song for me that was the complete opposite of what she usually did, it was a happy love song all about how she feels about me and how I make her feel.
Fast forward a little to one of her friends getting married, the friend (female) wants my girlfriend to sing her down the aisle and the song she has decided on is this one, the one that was written specifically for me.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? Is it wrong to think that this is MY song? I will obviously be at the wedding and I just know it’s going to crush me and I don’t really know what to do about it.

Surely all of the wonderful songs I love along with thousands of others will have been written "for" or with someone in mind....

Unless she said this was a private or secret song or anything to that effect which she has changed her mind about, then I don't see why you would feel anything other than pride (if that's the right word(??)) that someone felt the sentiment you inspired was appropriate for their wedding day. To me that seems nothing but lovely. Unless of course she originally stated that this wouldn't be shared - but that seems a little odd??

Oof some people don't know they're born.

You've got a talented girlfriend who loves you so much she's written a song inspired by her love for you, who wants to share it with everyone, and you've still managed to twist it into you being done over.

You're going to lose her at this rate if you don't learn to appreciate what you've got.

Who are you annoyed at? Your partner for letting someone use it first? Or the person who wants to use it

Is this about something else entirely - did you want to go down the aisle first..

Annie's song by Jon Denver is one of my favourites. I know it wasn't written for me. I know Annie herself didn't like the song because he treated her like crap. It's a good love song so I like to listen to it.
As others have said 'Candle in the Wind'.
I do understand where you're coming from however as you would've liked it for your own wedding. You can still use it. Everyone seems to know it was written for you, including friend who wants it?

It's your girlfriend's choice. You know it was written for you. You have to 'suck it up' it seems.

Don't make a meal out if it. It is what it is.

I hope you haven't expressed your 'hurt' to your girlfriend because if it was me, I'd be running away from you at lightening speed.

Do you really think anyone would notice, remember or care? Your thinking is seriously screwed on this on.

Oh crikey... 😶
I'm off to finish my tiling!

Ghastly song in either incarnation. Sorry! 😃

@Sethera

Have to disagree. I love the original version but the “Goodbye England’s Rose” makes me cringe. Elton took leave of his senses on this.

Quick! Propose and arrange a wedding at the weekend so you can use it first

Just be pleased for her. Songs don't have impact once and then lose it.

Imagine being one of Taylor Swift’s exes. Cop on @Kaandii

I wonder if Chrissy Teigan is 'crushed' every time someone chooses All Of Me to walk down the aisle to, or for a first dance song, or backdrop to a proposal.

I doubt it. She knows it's about her and for her, but that it's a beautiful song that expresses love, and that's why other people want to use it. I suspect she's just proud of her Husband for writing something that so many thousands of people connect with, even if it was written specifically for her.

I think you are getting such a battering OP because of the melodramatic language you used.

I understand that you feel that song is very personal but the fact that your gf has shared it with others makes it public. You're expressing hurt that your gf doesn't view it the same as you. But that's all it is, difference. Not something to be "crushed" about. As PP says you need to reframe your thoughts about it being used by others who are in love. See that as joyous and exciting.

If you get married and use that song it can be just as precious. Don't lose the joy you feel just because others are sharing it.

I’d love to be at a wedding that featured a song written about me! How incredible.

It does not make the song any less special for your wedding. That’s really messed up thinking.

Sorry but not one person other than the bride and groom will care about or remember what so was played going down the aisle so it really won’t matter how many people use it.

It’s not your song you don’t get to choose how and where your girlfriend’s creative talent is show cased. Stop being selfish.

In that case, yes yabu and a bit silly.

I understand your concern. Best way forward is for her to sign a contract confirming that she will not use the words "I love you" in conversation with anyone else for as long as you continue to breathe on this Earth.

How do you have friends that are getting married when you seem to be 12 years old?

Why would this “crush” you?

Annie's song by John Denver. Mind you, they did get divorced later on

Is it wrong to think that this is MY song?

Yes, of course it is.

In what scenario would a song about someone ever belong to the person it was about? You didn't write it, she did.

It doesn't sound like you've even been together that long, and you're not even engaged, so why would you try to prevent her from publicly performing the song she wrote on the basis you might one day want to use it at your hypothetical wedding?

It's a piece of art, not a magic spell. Her singing it isn't going to curse your relationship (although complaining about this to her might..).

Are you 13 or something? Grow the fuck up.

Are you actually engaged or are you just being a dog in a manger?

If you carry on like this, I doubt there’s ever going to be a wedding for you.