Upset about a wedding song

[Kaandii]

So my girlfriend is a songwriter, before we met she would only write sad depressing songs. A few months into our relationship she wrote a new song for me that was the complete opposite of what she usually did, it was a happy love song all about how she feels about me and how I make her feel.
Fast forward a little to one of her friends getting married, the friend (female) wants my girlfriend to sing her down the aisle and the song she has decided on is this one, the one that was written specifically for me.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? Is it wrong to think that this is MY song? I will obviously be at the wedding and I just know it’s going to crush me and I don’t really know what to do about it.

@Kaandii How is you being "crushed" going to manifest itself at this wedding? Will there be tears and associated drama?
If so, I suggest you don't go.
Someone else's wedding is not the place to cause a scene.
You need to have a long hard think about this.

Carry on like this and you'll soon be the inspiration for a song about how she ditched the whiny needy unreasonable boyfriend.

Grow up, OP. Do you think PJ Harvey threw a tantrum when Nick Cave sang ‘Into My Arms’ at Michael Hutchence’s funeral?

LOL at the thought of a piece of music somehow being devalued by being played at an event.

Wow that’s a whole level of drama llama I couldn’t be doing with. It is lovely if she sings it. It is still a song she wrote for you.

id consider what’s going on with you you’d behave like this.

Sorry not to be more polite about this but your being fucking nuts.

To break it down:

• It's her song, not yours.
• Other people hearing it at a wedding doesn't take away from her feelings for you
• I'd examine how proud you really are if you are being this possessive about words.
• if you expressed this to me I think i would dump you for being so extremely sensitive and asking me not to sing my own song that it is a massive red flag for controlling behaviour.

I genuinely think you need help.

This annoys me, the op could be male or female. Aren’t we passed this bullshit?

Oh dear.

What a drip.

It's her song to do as she likes with it.

Surely many love songs played at weddings are written about someone else. It's fine. You don't own the song.

Is it wrong to think that this is MY song?

Well, yes. It's her song. Is "Lady in Red" Chris de Burgh's song, or his wife's? Is "Hey Jude" a Lennon-McCartney song or Julian Lennon's? Should the subjects of those songs be able to dictate when the respective writers play them?

Nothing will take away from the fact that your girlfriend wrote this song for you. If it is played at your wedding, it will always have the extra special resonance that that gives. Remember that, and be happy for your friends at their wedding.

Why am I reminded of the Vicar of Dibley “fantasy wedding scene”

You've given me the ick.
It's her song. Maybe you'll get another 'special song' when you're married.

he wasn't the only one

Surely your partner can write a new song especially for your wedding - perhaps by then you may have an albums worth by the then!

You could use these events as inspiration for a song

Blimey. If every ‘muse’ claimed ownership of every song or poem written about them we’d have no art at all.

Stop being an idiot.

Isn't every love song that's ever been written, written with someone in mind? Would that stop you identifying strongly with the words of a song? I think you are being ridiculous.

How about you ask her to marry you? Then you won’t feel jealous at someone else’s wedding.

It's not your song. It's her song, she wrote it, she gets to use it wherever and however she wants.

You don't get to claim ownership over someone else's artwork. Do you think the model for the Mona Lisa got to say "Oh it's lovely, you're only allowed to hang it in my house"?

I can see why you might be upset about this if you want it to be your wedding song, especially as likely some guests at your own wedding will have heard it at your girlfriend's friends wedding first.
Ignore everyone telling you you're being silly. In the grand scheme of things this is minor, but your feelings are still valid.
Maybe when you get married your girlfriend will have written another song that will be even more suitable..

You can still use it at your wedding . People don't pay attention anyway.
Also do you think all the love songs ever wrote are then never shared ? What would be the point . You should be proud they like it so much and want more people to hear it .

I think people are being overly harsh on this thread. It’s flattering that she’s so talented and the song is so lovely someone wants to use it , but I do see where you are coming from. You feel how you feel and that’s that. You can’t help how you feel.

😂are you serious?! I’d be telling her 🚩 🚩 🚩 if she told me your reaction.

The opposite of jealousy is pride in your partner, that’s the emotion you should be aiming for. Hearing that song at another wedding should have you bursting with pride, knowing that it is being used for a special occasion and being shared with other people. If you don’t feel that way then you really shouldn’t go to the wedding, as if you sit there like a wet weekend you’ll spoil it for other people. Adjust your attitude or steer clear of someone else’s special day.