Upset about a wedding song

[Kaandii]

So my girlfriend is a songwriter, before we met she would only write sad depressing songs. A few months into our relationship she wrote a new song for me that was the complete opposite of what she usually did, it was a happy love song all about how she feels about me and how I make her feel.
Fast forward a little to one of her friends getting married, the friend (female) wants my girlfriend to sing her down the aisle and the song she has decided on is this one, the one that was written specifically for me.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? Is it wrong to think that this is MY song? I will obviously be at the wedding and I just know it’s going to crush me and I don’t really know what to do about it.

You can still use it at your wedding . People don't pay attention anyway.

Shoot me but I think the whole “our wedding song” is cringe as fuck anyway, whatever the song is.

Wow, I'd be honoured if someone wanted "my song" performed at their wedding 🤗

I suppose you feel what you feel but I'd probably be more proud than crushed.

TBH I can't remember what was played at my wedding (been far too long). I think I may have walked up the aisle to the Dam Busters theme (married an aviation nut).

Yes. See also ‘first look’, ‘first dance’ etc.

DH’s nephew got married recently and his bride followed me on Instagram, where I post infrequent sunsets or strange graffiti. Since their wedding day, now two months ago, she has posted multiple wedding photos on a daily basis, the majority ‘Bride weeps at wedding dress’, ‘Bride looks softly at rings on ring pillow’, ‘Bride does expression of great joy on seeing bridesmaid’, ‘Bride stares at wedding ring with glowy smile’ etc. There are a couple with the groom in, but he’s pretty much windowdressing…

And, even though I was at that wedding earlier this summer, I have no recollection of what their song was, if they had one.

I've heard it all now. The OP is the very definition of a snowflake.

Why would it crush you? Surely if it was written about you you know when she's sings it your girlfriend is probably thinking about her relationship with you. Can you not enjoy that? If not, that's weird. Is the person getting married an ex of your girlfriend?

Or Adele

to be fair he wrote it so I guess he can do what he likes

😂Love this!

@AtYourOwnRisk

etc.

DH’s nephew got married recently and his bride followed me on Instagram, where I post infrequent sunsets or strange graffiti. Since their wedding day, now two months ago, she has posted multiple wedding photos on a daily basis, the majority ‘Bride weeps at wedding dress’, ‘Bride looks softly at rings on ring pillow’, ‘Bride does expression of great joy on seeing bridesmaid’, ‘Bride stares at wedding ring with glowy smile’ etc.

Vom. I am always being accused of being a joy sponge for this but I find wedding hysteria of this kind toe-curlingly embarrassing.

@newtlover

to be fair he wrote it so I guess he can do what he likes

He absolutely can! But it doesn’t stop me dying inside every time I hear the Princess Di version.

I feel like maybe some clarification is needed.
Yes I am female and have previously posted about other relationships (I don’t see why that is relevant here)
Yes I have been in some controlling/abusive situations which have affected me in many ways, all of which my girlfriend is aware of. So yes I may over react or be dramatic about some things. Hence why I have reached out here. I have not and would never ask my girlfriend not to do something. And maybe my wording isn’t quite right. I was simply upset at the situation and was hoping for some helpful advice on how to manage that.

Either way it doesnt matter if OP is same sex partner or hetro, it really doesnt matter

The issue is that the OP is acting like a 12 year old

Do you think Pattie Boyd got upset every time Eric sang Wonderful Tonight or Layla?

Yeh. Grow up. You sound suffocating

It doesn't matter if you're female or male tbh

Let me ask a hypothetical question, if she had an opportunity to sing this particular song and it was an opportunity that would open doors to her career as a musician would you insist that no the song is only for you?

Yes she wrote the song for you and that was a lovely gesture, the fact she sings the song at another event should make you proud that the song she wrote for you is good enough to be enjoyed by others not get you upset and somehow thing it means she doesn't love you as much or anything like that. If I was in your shoes I would be supportive.

I think past relationships are relevant because they affect how we react to new things... and it's clear you can see that yourself.

That was then this is now. Whether your gf is a professional songwriter or an enthusiastic amateur she will feel the need to create and put it out in the world. I'm sure, in your heart, you're proud of her and you can be proud of yourself for inspiring such joyous love.

I would say calling this overreacting or being dramatic is inaccurate. It’s more like you are reacting negatively where a healthy reaction would be positive.

In other words, it’s the nature of your feelings that seems ‘off’ or inappropriate, not so much the strength of them.

We all have inappropriate responses to things sometimes — a normal part of being an adult is learning to recognise and manage them. What’s more concerning is that it kind of sounds like you have managed to frame this to yourself as reasonable. It’s really not, it’s kind of immature and selfish, regardless of what kind of emotional abuse you have experienced in the past.

Your girlfriend’s beautiful song about you is being appreciated by others. That’s objectively a nice thing. It takes nothing away from you.

I think some posters have been quite unfair here. I can understand why you might be upset OP, she's using something that was intimate and special to you before you had a chance to. Like she's blown out your candles before you have had a chance to cut your cake.l or something.

And I don't think the comparison to people using other love songs is fair - it's slightly different when someone uses a widely love song that's been in the public domain for ever!

Yes an equally valid reaction could have been to be flattered/touched that someone else liked it enough to have it as their wedding song but I can understand why someone might be upset in this situation too.

all about you by tom fletcher for gio his wife she loves that veryone gets to enjoy it