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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Upset about a wedding song

145 replies

Kaandii · 09/09/2024 09:40

So my girlfriend is a songwriter, before we met she would only write sad depressing songs. A few months into our relationship she wrote a new song for me that was the complete opposite of what she usually did, it was a happy love song all about how she feels about me and how I make her feel.
Fast forward a little to one of her friends getting married, the friend (female) wants my girlfriend to sing her down the aisle and the song she has decided on is this one, the one that was written specifically for me.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? Is it wrong to think that this is MY song? I will obviously be at the wedding and I just know it’s going to crush me and I don’t really know what to do about it.

OP posts:
travelallthetime · 09/09/2024 11:29

my eyes rolled so far back in my head I couldnt see over this post

Sia8899 · 09/09/2024 11:30

I think the only acceptable time to be crushed would be if there was some sort of history with this friend and it seemed as though your partner was singing it about them.

If you are engaged and planning your wedding and have decided to use this song I think it would be ok to voice that you want it to be special to you. However it’s not your song or your performance, most people will have forgotten the song by your wedding. Plus, the song will need to be recorded or performed by someone else for your wedding and therefore will sound different.

Be proud that your partner has written a great song and will perform it live

Galiana · 09/09/2024 11:32

The artist owns the art!

Just be happy that you were the muse.

Canalboat · 09/09/2024 11:32

Wineandcupcakes · 09/09/2024 10:24

This annoys me, the op could be male or female. Aren’t we passed this bullshit?

Show quote history

Folk often seem to jump to the conclusion of a heterosexual relationship when OP has not said either way.

MildredSauce · 09/09/2024 11:33

Hey @Kaandii past posts on here have been about a controlling boyfriend - is this a reverse??

PaillettenBedeckt · 09/09/2024 11:34

DeCaray · 09/09/2024 11:08

You can imagine how upset I was when Prince wrote this song about me and then made it into a chart topping hit -

😂😂

Sia8899 · 09/09/2024 11:35

MildredSauce · 09/09/2024 11:33

Hey @Kaandii past posts on here have been about a controlling boyfriend - is this a reverse??

…or she/he is bisexual??

Lemonadeand · 09/09/2024 11:35

Kaandii · 09/09/2024 09:55

Ok so the thing is that it has been shared with all of our friends and family and I have no issue with that at all. I am super proud of her and have no desire to keep the song from anyone else.
I obviously love the song and it’s special to me so I had previously expressed some desire to have it as a potential wedding song for US. So it hurts that someone else wants to use it first.

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Sounds like you should have proposed quicker.

Choochoo21 · 09/09/2024 11:35

YANBU

Surely you’d want the song sang at your wedding first!

It would be different if you’d already had your wedding and played it/used a different one.

Thats like someone painting a picture especially for someone and then giving someone else the exact same one.

If it’s for you, it’s for you.

I would speak to your gf about your feelings.
Its probably just a beautiful song and she doesn’t realise how much it means to you or perhaps she wants to share how she feels about you with the happy couple.

Songs about other people can absolutely be felt and enjoyed by others but it’s obvious why you would feel so hurt about this.

Choochoo21 · 09/09/2024 11:37

Lemonadeand · 09/09/2024 11:35

Sounds like you should have proposed quicker.

Show quote history

Why should she rush into proposing if she’s not ready yet.

You should never rush into proposing.

OhLookAStrawberry · 09/09/2024 11:38

Wow. Is it a bank holiday? I've never seen so much hate towards one poster.

Sia8899 · 09/09/2024 11:38

Lemonadeand · 09/09/2024 11:35

Sounds like you should have proposed quicker.

Show quote history

😂 OP, if you propose today you might be able to set the date for one week before the friend’s wedding and use the song first 🥇

Katielovesteatime · 09/09/2024 11:38

You’re being ridiculous! Loads of artists and musicians produce work inspired by others. It’s a huge compliment to you, but it is not YOUR song never to be shared with anyone else?! What a bizarre thing to get annoyed about! Please don’t tell me you’ve already told her you’re annoyed! If you haven’t … don’t! You’ll sound unhinged!

mamajong · 09/09/2024 11:38

I think if this is going to crush you I hate to consider how you will cope with Real problems. You are being ridiculous, just be grateful if this is the biggest issue in your life right now.

BlondeFool · 09/09/2024 11:41

First world issues. Some of the threads on here get more ridiculous

FairTurtle · 09/09/2024 11:47

Aww. How old are you?😅This is all quite dramatic and cute.

Choochoo21 · 09/09/2024 11:49

MildredSauce · 09/09/2024 11:33

Hey @Kaandii past posts on here have been about a controlling boyfriend - is this a reverse??

Sounds like that relationship is over (thankfully) and now she has a new relationship, rather than a reverse.

Just4thisthreadtoday · 09/09/2024 11:50

Todaysbetterthanyesterday · 09/09/2024 09:48

lol 😂 so funny and perfect for Monday Morning! You are literally the most silly person on the internet right now.

@Todaysbetterthanyesterday

what a horribly unkind post.

armadillio · 09/09/2024 11:50

Just tell her you were hoping it would be your wedding song someday in the future.

And then let her decide.

Ilovelifeverymuch · 09/09/2024 11:55

Jeez grow the f up.

Just4thisthreadtoday · 09/09/2024 12:06

@Kaandii

i completely understand how you feel. I can't believe some of these posts.

Have you explained to your Gf how you feel?

Surely the fried can choose one of the millions of other songs in the world for your Gf to sing??

ScribblingPixie · 09/09/2024 12:08

Kaandii · 09/09/2024 09:40

So my girlfriend is a songwriter, before we met she would only write sad depressing songs. A few months into our relationship she wrote a new song for me that was the complete opposite of what she usually did, it was a happy love song all about how she feels about me and how I make her feel.
Fast forward a little to one of her friends getting married, the friend (female) wants my girlfriend to sing her down the aisle and the song she has decided on is this one, the one that was written specifically for me.
Am I wrong to be upset about this? Is it wrong to think that this is MY song? I will obviously be at the wedding and I just know it’s going to crush me and I don’t really know what to do about it.

Songs are made to be shared. As a songwriter, she's written something lovely and obviously wants others to enjoy it. It's her gift. You're thinking of it the wrong way. She owns the song; you don't. You're the subject of it. You should just enjoy knowing that wherever and whenever you hear it.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 09/09/2024 12:10

Just4thisthreadtoday · 09/09/2024 12:06

@Kaandii

i completely understand how you feel. I can't believe some of these posts.

Have you explained to your Gf how you feel?

Surely the fried can choose one of the millions of other songs in the world for your Gf to sing??

Why should friend have to chose words by someone they don't know when their friend has the perfect song, in her own words, that she's shared previously so not even private?

Growlybear83 · 09/09/2024 12:10

I'm not sure I've ever read anything quite so ridiculous. Why does your girlfriend performing the song at a friend's wedding mean that you can't still have it at your own wedding?

Didimum · 09/09/2024 12:11

Goodness me. Get a grip.