Using the word meltdown when they mean tantrum?

[TheHeadOfTheHouse]

Has anyone noticed that nobody says tantrum anymore?

Every time a child has a tantrum, theres a parent saying they’re having a meltdown.

Theres a massive difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, but it appears hardly anybody likes to say their child is having a tantrum anymore.

Such a first world problem, but it really annoys me 🤣

There's a lot of this going on these days. The over use of "triggering" irritates me. It seems to be used in place of "slightly upset" nowadays.

If you judged another parent to be, in your opinion, incorrectly using the word meltdown/tantrum would you go argue with them about it? 🤣 I wouldn't.

Doesn't mean people can't be annoyed. Just as you can't gatekeep words and phrases you can't gatekeep how people can or will react to something.

Triggering is an awful word. I am not responsible for anyone else's reactions to something.

There's a lot of it about.

”beyond calming”

the autism website you linked to certainly never says this

This. No one on MN's children are just badly behaved or ill-disciplined. They're all "overstimulated".

loving all the hyperbole on this thread! 😆

The neurodiverse do not own the word meltdown
It can be used interchangeably with tantrum.

The word meltdown has a few meanings & isn't specific to ND.

That wasn't an example of the PP 'gatekeeping' though, was it?

They were simply saying this has been discussed many times, for years.

They haven't said people should no longer discuss it, as that would be gatekeeping.

@jetbot

No it's not. It's really really not.

@TheHeadOfTheHouse This thread is done over & over, though less than a few years ago. It's understandable to be upset/annoyed by it if you have a child with SEN.

i think it just became common useage because tantrum is more of a deliberate action & even NT children get generally overwhelmed by things and are just reacting, not having a deliberate tantrum. I suppose when a NT child is reacting rather than acting deliberately it is a meltdown too, but they're mostly able to be calmed down/coaxed out of it/fizzles out.

I don't think it's 'fair' to describe it as a tantrum, because they're not doing it to be naughty, they're just overwhelmed too, but it's not an autistic meltdown either.

New word required!

Write to your MP to get this changed.

Have you personally ever dealt with an autistic person having a meltdown?

but what for MY daughter was a meltdown

was just a run of the mill tantrum for MY son

I'm sure the daily fail will pick it up and stick the article behind a paywall.

Can’t say I’m surprised. So much bad or inconsiderate behaviour - child or adult - is so often excused by slapping one or other ND label on the individual.

As for genuine toddler tantrums, IMO they’re usually caused by sheer frustration - an inability to express themselves properly yet, or by their failure to understand why they can’t have or do this or that.

My dd2’s only tantrum happened in a shop, where she’d found a little doll’s pram, and wanted it so badly, her fingers had to be prised (gently) from the handle while she screamed, but she was still under 2 and couldn’t possibly understand that you can’t just have everything you want in shops.
(I did buy it for her a bit later, for Christmas.)

well given I think my son had meltdown, yes 😕

You get annoyed when people use a common phrase borrowed from another noun entirely in one of the phrases most common usages? Why? Have autistic people decide only they can use the phrase? Did the rest of us get asked?
Sounds like a waste of your time and energy to get upset about it but you do you.

I have dc with autism so I use the term meltdown

Most people don't understand the difference. Our psych had to clearly describe the difference so I could tell when DS was having a tantrum or meltdown.

Once I understood it was easy to tell & I could respond appropriately. One they can control, one they can't. But I wouldn't have known the difference without the experience.

Well, a tantrum is a meltdown.

The Cambridge and Oxford dictionaries both refer to a meltdown as an uncontrollable emotional outburst.
A tantrum is referred to as an uncontrollable outburst of anger or frustration.
So they mean the same thing.

Society have shaped meltdown to relate to ND outbursts but that isn’t a dictionary definition.

A 'meltdown' isn't a thing, in terms of behaviour. It's just slang for 'having a massive tantrum'.

Anxiety attack
Panic attack
Tantrum
(Fit of) / temper
(For of) / rage..... these are words for behaviour.

'Meltdown' is in the same bracket as
'Having a paddy'
'Throwing a wobbler'

How many people say 'doggy' or 'need to wee'?
Everyone says 'doggo' and 'need to pee', these days.

'Meltdown' is just another example of language change, but even so, I personally find it very irritating.

I have 3 dcs who are diagnosed with autism and 3 who are not i have no idea what the difference is but i think regardless i would respond just the same back off and let them calm down quietly.

I'm autistic and to reiterate what someone said upthread - if I have a meltdown, nothing can stop it until it's run its course. I can even feel some part of my conscious mind telling me to calm down, that it doesn't matter, or that I will regret it later, but it doesn't make any difference. A tantrum can be stopped by giving in to the demands.

You can also have a meltdown when you're by yourself, whereas I feel like a tantrum by definition needs an audience, as the anger and upset is about not getting a particular result.