Using the word meltdown when they mean tantrum?

[TheHeadOfTheHouse]

Has anyone noticed that nobody says tantrum anymore?

Every time a child has a tantrum, theres a parent saying they’re having a meltdown.

Theres a massive difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, but it appears hardly anybody likes to say their child is having a tantrum anymore.

Such a first world problem, but it really annoys me 🤣

I am neurodivergent.

I think this is just trivial semantics

This is grossly unfair. A normal kid who just can’t behave? No. A neurotypical child who is struggling to process and communicate their feelings, is overwhelmed, needs time to calm down…

I think it depends on the age of the child. A small child having a ‘tantrum’ is similar to a meltdown as they cannot be placated- they are having big feelings and cannot process/ communicate. An older child who is having a tantrum but will then stop when given what they’re wanting is different…

I have never heard of this distinction before and would use them interchangeably.

I have noticed that it is almost always the parents with badly behaved children who have no SEN who use the word meltdown when they mean tantrum. Because it's easier for them to pathologize everything so that they (and their child in turn) don't have to take accountability for bad behaviour or bad parenting. It's just another example of some parents raising entitled children who will one day become entitled adults who think that they are the centre of everyone's world.

I object to anyone using "meltdown" unless it involves a nuclear reactor incident.

When my 15 year old melts down, I'd probably prefer to be in one of those.

My DD is 14 she does not tantrum, in fact she has never (even as a tot) exhibited any wilful challenging behaviour - not even an eye roll. She normally shuts down if she is overwhelmed socially and will retreat into herself, she melts down if she is sensory overloaded.

For example she plays rugby so things that can accumulate to cause a meltdown:
Unfamiliar grounds
Music and noise in changing room
Bright sun
Wind, blowing on her skin and also making things rustle
Her hair touching her skin/neck
People talking and shouting on the pitch when she's trying to focus
Feel of sweat or rain on her skin
Playing in an unfamiliar position when she's unprepared for it.

She can feel it brewing and will take a break in the car on her own where possible but if she cant eventually these sensory triggers mount up and she becomes overwhelmed. She isn't doing it to get attention (in fact she hates the attention it brings), she isn't doing it because she didn't get what she wanted, she ist doing it because someone was unkind to her or making her do something she doesn't want to do. She does it because she's autistic and if she could stop it she would as it's embarrassing and physically exhausting. She is otherwise a incredibly mature, extremely gifted child who loves to sit and write poetry, listen to music and read / Watch Shakespeare to even suggest that what she does is a tantrum is ridiculous.

Is it safe for you all to be on horses that high??

I hate the word tantrum. Children can't regulate their emotions like adults can, but I'm also autistic and so is my child and I think there needs to be a distinction between the disabling emotional responses we have and the quite upsetting, but proportionate for their age emotional responses allistic children have.

Tantrum has so much stigma. It was used by my family toward me as a child when actually I was actually having a meltdown. It's always used in a really dismissive way and all children deserve to have their feelings acknowledged.

It annoys me too, but then I do have a son with severe SEN, so I'm probably more sensitive to that kind of terminology.

How about, 'My child is naughty and has tantrums.'

That's not a sentence you hear much anymore-it might even be illegal to say it.

I get that's supposed to be funny, but toddlers having tantrums isn't a sign of "naughtiness".

Which is fine, but it doesn’t mean that a NT child can’t be overstimulated.

I'm ND. If someone, of any age, is so overwhelmed by a particular situation that they they can't control their behaviour or emotional response, them I'm happy to call their experience a meltdown, whatever their neurotype. It's also fairly likely that quite a few of those people turn out not to be NT after all.

the disabling emotional responses we have and the quite upsetting, but proportionate for their age emotional responses allistic children have.

Are you saying that NT people can’t have emotional responses that leave them unable to function from time to time?

Not the only questionable post they've made today.

Annoys me too. A tantrum you can work around, a meltdown is catastrophic.

You won’t win this one. If people consistently use a word in a certain way then the meaning becomes what they mean when they say it.
See also. Epic, Awesome,Legendary, Obsessed. Applied to a burger or mascara or whatever.
No humans literally have meltdowns because it meant uncontrollable nuclear reaction. Now it also means tantrum.

It's (thankfully) been replaced with a more positive "my child is overwhelmed I think it's time to go home!" Around here.

always makes me more inclined to use the word that is pissing posters off much more regularly in public! 😆

Nah. Doesn't bother me a jot.

This. It is normal developmental behaviour.

We hold children to higher standards than adults. Some adults still have tantrums. But apparently minute a child does they’re naughty. 🙄

I didn’t say they couldn’t.

A tantrum is an emotional response they can be brought out off, a meltdown is beyond calming.

A good way to see the difference between the two is read up on the recommended actions to take to deal with a tantrum and then look at the actions recommended to deal with a meltdown.

This has been discussed on MN since ‘‘twas all fields.
Meltdown isn’t a medical term and it’s used a variety of contexts from nuclear reactors to tantrums to emotionally disregulated states to flaming rows. You can’t gate keep it, English doesn’t work that way.