Using the word meltdown when they mean tantrum?

[TheHeadOfTheHouse]

Has anyone noticed that nobody says tantrum anymore?

Every time a child has a tantrum, theres a parent saying they’re having a meltdown.

Theres a massive difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, but it appears hardly anybody likes to say their child is having a tantrum anymore.

Such a first world problem, but it really annoys me 🤣

I still use the word tantrum, mostly to describe my 17 month old who despises the word no 😂😂

He might have pda so the meltdown is caused by not wanting to do something (avoid demands)

A tantrum is a result of not getting their own way, frustration, wanting something and not getting it, sometimes it's because they haven't got the language or understanding yet (like toddlers).

A meltdown can look very similar to a tantrum, but it's not about trying to get their own way or they are annoyed/upset because they can't have something..

a meltdown with someone with pda can happen if the child is being asked to do something they simply cannot cope with. So it can look like the child is simply being difficult or not doing as they are told/or having a tantrum because they are being asked to do something they don't want.

A meltdown is caused by fear/anxiety/frustration/sensory issues/masking. There's no reasoning with the child. Logically they are gone, their entire senses are utterly overwhelmed. It's not something you can talk through, or they are doing willfully or purposely..they have no control. It's also very frightening for the child, almost like a panic attack, a rush of adrenaline and cortisole. Most don't fully remember why or what happened to cause it, not remember what happened during it. Where a tantrum, they are more in control, and deliberately say or do things to cause hurt to people or objects. During a meltdown they are more likely to injure themselves and take a long time to recover because they are exhausted.

Tantrums should be ignored so as to not reward the behavior, privileges/treats removed, as it is deliberately behaving in a naughty or wilful bad behavior.

Meltdowns are not bad behavior and shouldn't be punished. The child needs need to be kept safe and helped to recover. They peak and eventually the body slows down and the child calms down. The child needs to be soothed, made to feel safe and secure.

There is a difference

Personally I don’t think the distinction is that binary.

Do you blame people when tantrum is seen as negative and meltdown isn't? No one wants to be in a situation where people see their child as having a tantrum vs meltdown because one brings more judgement and the other brings more understanding.

People 'hijack' words everyday because it's easier/safer/more acceptable, etc.

That is not what I was taught when I studied early childhood and middle childhood development.

You don't know anything about pda do you? If you're calling her a friend you should educate yourself.

How is a tantrum not the same? Over stimulated and can’t regulate their emotions? Perhaps because meltdowns is attributed to those with adhd or autism and those without it are just naughty so must be having a tantrum?
Children are just people. We all have messy feelings and often at inconvenient times. We’ve been taught we are bad for having these feelings so push them down. Society is full of people who cannot regulate themselves and so instead just push their shit down. They have stomach issues and anxiety issues and bully others or anger issues etc. Perhaps if we had been taught how to manage our feelings instead of labelled as having a tantrum, we’d be far more healthy.
My children have never had “tantrums”, they have certainly had meltdowns. Where they are not punished or yelled at or made to feel ashamed of their feelings.

The following link is from the Children’s hospital in Melbourne Australia and gives a good explanation and definition of tantrums based on human development and science.

It’s time we removed the ignorant stigma around tantrums.

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/tantrums

While children are still too young to regulate their own emotions and behaviour, adults can help them deal with big feelings by ‘co-regulating’ their mood – for example by being calm, soothing, caring, close and rational until the big feeling passes. This helps young children feel calm again and know they are still loved.

Triggers for big feelings (tantrums)
It is important to remember that big feelings are a normal part of child development. However, certain factors make episodes of big feelings more likely.
Triggers that may spark big feelings include being:

• stressed
• hungry
• tired
• overstimulated – for example, by loud or noisy environments where there is a lot going on
• frustrated – especially about not being understood or not having enough language skills to communicate needs
• physically ill
• upset – for example, because a parent has reacted angrily or laughed at the child
• confused – for example, by inconsistent parenting or caregivers reacting differently to the big feelings in different circumstances.

This ^^

Has it actually been hijacked though? Was the original term meant only for autistic individuals but has since been hijacked?

If that is the origin then I would stop using the term.

@BlueberrySkye That is a fair point. I think it has only been in the last decade or two where people have started to associate the word meltdown with autism. And now in the last few years some people are becoming possessive of the word and wanting it to be used exclusively for autism or neurodiversity.

This is a dictionary definition of the word meltdown. It fits with my memory of how the word was used back in the 80’s when I was a kid.

an occasion when a person becomes extremely upset and is not able to deal with a problem or situation

I can’t edit my own post. But somehow the link changed to a different word definition. So I’ll try again.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/meltdown

@ImustLearn2Cook I clicked that link, and the definition you quoted is third down the list of meanings, and listed as an 'informal' piece of language.

'Informal' is dictionary speak for 'slang'.

The non-slang, proper meanings of 'meltown' are given in this order.

1. an* extremelyy* dangerouss* situationn in a nuclearr powerr stationn* in which the nuclearrfuell* becomess very hott* and meltss* through itss containerr and escapess* into the environmentt*

2. a completee failuree, especiallyy* in financiallmatterss:

Please forgive all the typos in my last. I'm in a hurry on a smallish phone.

Mine had tantrums, sometimes went into meltdowns, both NT as far as I know.

When I was a mid day supervisor at a primary school there was a fair old mixture of both. In both NT and ND children.

In my experience a tantrum can develop into a meltdown... everything gets too much. But a meltdown never develops into a tantrum.

@BogusHocusPocus Informal has to do with speech or writing that is not strictly formal, or strictly standard. Slang is a colloquialism.

Informal is not the same as slang. And being an informal definition of meltdown doesn’t stop it from being one of the definitions.

Words can have more than one definition and I quoted that particular definition because it is relevant to the conversation in this thread. The other definitions are not relevant to this topic so, what would be the point in quoting them?

The whole point of posting the definition was to highlight how the word meltdown has been and can be used for anyone and is not exclusive to autism or disability.

@BogusHocusPocus I also want to add that informal is not dictionary speak for slang. If a dictionary gives a definition for the slang word it will actually say that it is slang.

Exactly
However, some people always seem to be offended if you use the one they deem to be wrong at the wrong time.

Noun
edit]
meltdown (countable and uncountable, plural meltdowns)

1. Severe overheating of the core of a nuclear reactor resulting in the core melting and potentially in radiation escaping.
2. Four years have passed since the meltdown at the Chernobyl nuclear plant, but the grim legacy of the Soviet catastrophe is still unfolding. www.time.com/time/daily/chernobyl/chernobyl.index.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">[1]
3. A situation being likened to a nuclear meltdown; a crisis. quotations ▼
4. Computer engineers were at a loss last night to explain why the Government had been hit by arguably the worst electronic meltdown in the history of Whitehall. news.independent.co.uk/uk/politics/story.jsp?story=587262" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">[2]
5. (informal) A tantrum or emotional outburst. quotations ▼
6. (psychology) An autistic response to stress or sensory overload, in which the person is overwhelmed by intense, seemingly disproportionate emotions,

Informal is not 'standard English'.

@ImustLearn2Cook

You say, Slang is a colloquialism , which is totally ambiguous.

Do you mean 'slang words and phrases are colloquial' (which of course would include the word 'meltdown' to mean 'loss of control')

Or do you mean 'the word "slang" is a colloquialism' ?

I meant 'informal' is non-standard English

@IdaPrentice

This is really interesting. Which dictionary is this, please?