Using the word meltdown when they mean tantrum?

[TheHeadOfTheHouse]

Has anyone noticed that nobody says tantrum anymore?

Every time a child has a tantrum, theres a parent saying they’re having a meltdown.

Theres a massive difference between a tantrum and a meltdown, but it appears hardly anybody likes to say their child is having a tantrum anymore.

Such a first world problem, but it really annoys me 🤣

You sound like such an understanding friend. I guess you must be around your said ‘friend’ and their child all the time to presume this.

@jetbot

you can MY MY MY all you like. I disagree.

A meltdown is being involuntary overwhelmed by your emotions. A tantrum is a deliberate reaction to not getting your own way.

They are 2 separate things.

says…. you! 😆

Ok but the distinctions that I keep seeing are things like - meltdowns are “involuntary”, prompted by “overstimulation” , “impossible to soothe” etc. this is 100% true of what happens to both my kids. In fact my four year old actually expresses this “I can’t calm down”. I don’t know if they are neurodivergent or not, but I don’t think they have ASD.

Maybe the difference is one of degree rather than quality/ type ? Eg, children with ASD sometimes tend to experience particularly severe meltdowns?

Maybe the difference is one of degree rather than quality/ type ? Eg, children with ASD sometimes tend to experience particularly severe meltdowns?

BINGO

but will go down like a sack of spuds with some!

meltdown is more than 15 mins (usually a lot longer) and my child is inconsolable and we cannot go near him. Even giving him what he wanted in the first place makes him worse.

My 2 year old has episodes like this. I don’t know if she is ND but no other signs so far. I assumed this was just a typical 2 yr old emotional disregulation.

Bingo what?!

Xenophobic. Not racist. The Irish are not a race.

What year do you think it is?!

I have one with ASD and can't get upset about people using meltdown to mean tantrum. I don't really understand why people get so possessive of words unless they are actual medical terms.

It's not like if your autistic child is having a meltdown you're going to loudly announce at the shopping centre that 'he's having a meltdown' and everyone around is going to immediately nod and understand that ah he's autistic and obviously over stimulated and dysregulated and be completely sympathetic. A lot of little kids have trouble regulating their emotions.

The moment you hit send, it's like the universe waits for someone to pounce with a red pen. I'm sure you can work out what I meant.

Done on app so couldn't edit - so frustrating that safari is still useless for me, wish MNHQ would fix it!

It sounds like this is a regular occurrence for you- in that case, it might be worth proofreading your posts!

Also, I'm really enjoying the irony of your posting about how easily offended people are, then becoming offended when I pointed out you were 100 years out of the actual date!

Racism includes discrimination on the basis of nationality or ethnicity, it's not just about skin colour.

Discrimination on the basis of ethnicity- yes, that is racism. On the basis of nationality- no, that is not racism. That's xenophobia.

The Irish are not a specific ethnic group.

that if totally agree with you

and you nailed it in that quote

In the Equality Act, race can mean your colour, or your nationality (including your citizenship). It can also mean your ethnic or national origins, which may not be the same as your current nationality. For example, you may have Chinese national origins and be living in Britain with a British passport.

www.equalityhumanrights.com/equality/equality-act-2010/your-rights-under-equality-act-2010/race-discrimination

Oxford Languages definition of racism:
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

Cambridge Dictionary and Merriam-Webster also have no mention of nationality in their definitions of racism.

🤔 nothing screams 'calm and composed' like eagerly nitpicking typos on MN.

But, if I made you feel clever for a moment, I’m happy to contribute to your daily sense of accomplishment!

Lets not engage further.

I don't think I'm particularly clever for knowing it's 2024...

Ok but I've posted the legal definition above.

And "Irish" is widely regarded as an ethnicity anyway.

But I don't think you're arguing in good faith.

I genuinely am arguing in good faith- I'm not sure why you think I'm not? I think it's important to use words accurately, based on their meanings according to a dictionary.

The Equality Act was written by government ministers, who are experts in... well, not much, actually. Whereas dictionaries are written by lexicographers, who are experts in defining words.

"Widely regarded" by whom? Do you have any citations for this?

I kind of agree it’s important to make a distinction. I don’t think I could be described as “racist” against a white Danish person, even if I felt prejudicial things about them.

"Meltdown" isn't a technical term with a specific definition.* It's an informal/colloquial way of referring to any uncontrolled disastrous event, or specifically an emotional loss of control.

The word has come to be adopted widely among people with autism spectrum disorder and those caring for them, but this community doesn't own the word. The OED notes the word is colloquial (i.e., belonging to common speech not formal/technical language) and defines it as "A loss of control over one's emotions or behaviour; a mental collapse; a tantrum."** The dictionary literally defines "meltdown" and "tantrum" as essentially synonymous.

Now it's clearly true that people in the ND community use the words tantrum and meltdown to refer to different things (e.g., Meltdowns & Calming Techniques in Autism - Autism Research Institute), and it might well be sensitive and aid clear communication for others to be aware of and respect those distinctions. However, if you want society in general to recognise strict distinctions between things then unfortunately adopting words that are already widely used in closely related contexts is not a promising way to start out.

*Well, it is, but only in nuclear reactor engineering where it refers to an uncontrolled event in which a failure of the cooling system leads to the core overheating to the point where it melts and flows down through the reactor vessel.
**Oxford English Dictionary, s.v. “meltdown (n.), sense 1.b.ii,” July 2023, https://doi.org/10.1093/OED/4500405099.