Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

[Gofastboatsmojito]

Hi,

Filtering a recent discussion with my stepmum I just wanted to survey the 55+ year olds of mumsnet to check whether I'm way off.

She is absolutely insistent that in her youth women (most? all?) enjoyed being whistled or shouted appreciatively at when waking past a building site.

She thinks women's perception of this has changed in the last 20 years. All her friends enjoyed it in the 70s and 80s apparently.

For context she has been the subject of male violence including sexual violence and does not equate the two.

I find it hard to believe everyone enjoyed it and assume that women felt a lot less able to say they didn't like it due to fear of being called frigid, uptight etc.

I'm sure the answer might lie somewhere between the two extremes but just wondering what an AIBU poll might say.

V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

YABU = in my youth the majority of women I knew considered a wolf whistle as a cheeky but welcome compliment

YANBU = I didn't enjoy this even in the 70s

Gawd - where are you that you get catcalled - I’m in south Scotland and haven’t heard this for ever.

Why? Are you planning to move to facilitate these?

Is it that you don't believe me. Will it soften the blow if I tell you that I also get shouted 'Oi!'?

I'm mid 50s and remember being cat called on a regular basis. It didn't register hugely with me and I certainly never felt intimidated or abused, or whatever. I just saw it as much the same as any bloke coming up to me in a bar and asking if he could buy me a drink etc. They were displaying their appreciation, I guess? All vaguely shallow and silly.

It probably helped that my self esteem was always fine and I was never easily cowed. If I liked the look of them I would wolf whistle back, a proper, piercing 2 finger whistle.

Sorry, added as a reply to your message by mistake.

Younger women have their own hideous things to deal with though: sexting, nude selfies, dick pics, upskirting etc.

No it was horrible. I can remember being 14 and having to walk past a building site. I was tall and had quite aarge bust. I used to cross over to the opposite side and try and hide behind the cars. They shouted awful things.

What you are highlighting is true - it's not easy for girls and women now, but the question was to older women who were asked if they believed it to be enjoyable, back in the 60s/70s.
That things haven't progressed much is depressing.

@Comedycook Yep, and I definitely don't look young and wouldn't call myself thin 😂

I wear a lot of makeup and have long hair, have a bit of gothic style so maybe that sets the pervs off
I don't find it flattering at all, I don't need men to comment on me. I feel like prey

This. ^ I also think any woman who is 'flattered' by some knuckle-dragging oik cat-calling and hitting on her must have very low self esteem, and must be desperate for attention. I find it repugnant and gross, and I don't need any fucking bloke to validate me. I know my worth.

Like I said, that's your opinion. I disagree.

That wasn't remotely what I meant.

I simply meant that if complaints are dominated by 'he called me this' or 'he put his hand on my shoulder' then when a man does far, FAR worse to a woman, there's a chance she won't be believed.

You can disagree. That's fine.

I will disagree. Women tend not to be believed when it's their word against a man's.
Again - why blame women?

Not ridiculous. I wasn't likening them, it was simply an either/or scenario. As in either making a comment or a 'pass' at someone.

Seriously, some people really need to get out more...

Dear lord - imagine being flattered by some random bloke shouting obscenities at you. It saddens me that some girls and women are, but then we've seen sad stories upthread about abused girls with little validation, so it figures 😞

OP: "V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

People: "I'm only 38 but...."

😂

I'm not remotely 'blaming women'. I'm blaming the people who won't believe genuine claims of sexual assault.

I never said that you blamed women. Perhaps it was my phrasing - I meant to say that women get blamed.
Who doesn't believe genuine claims of sexual assault and why? Some people blame women for this. I do not.
Those on here being critical of sexual harassment are not responsible for police and court system which lets women down continuously on this matter.

EVERY woman and girl that walked past? I think that's highly unlikely.

This! 👏👏

I think things are worse for young women today. Catcalling and Page 3 were tame compared to what goes on nowadays.

Never used to bother me on my 20’s, wasn’t flattered but not bothered by it but before that I remember walking to college and had to go past a building site, it made me really uncomfortable then.

You disagree that shouting out crude remarks is not charming?

I thought people who did it were losers, people who enjoyed it were losers. Hope that helps.

Nobody was talking about making passes. It's crystal clear this thread is specifically about street harassment, not flirting and making romantic advances in a social context.

Don't get pissy with me because you didn't articulate your thoughts well and wouldn't stick to the issue at hand.

It's not a competition as to who has it hardest. None of this was acceptable then and it isn't now, in spite of the women who keep shrugging it off as nothing or 'flattering', they're still doing it as evidenced by this thread.

Women in the age group that OP geared the question towards didn't have the assurance that this behaviour is horrendous, women now do have this. The previous generation didn't have the social media blight to contend with, that is very true, but women now have the surety of the work done by women of previous generations to put an end to cat-calling, page 3 and the like, sexual harassment in the workplace is now taken seriously. All of these things were long overdue.

I suppose the question is what can we do now to curtail and stamp out the malign influence of men using social media against women?