Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

[Gofastboatsmojito]

Hi,

Filtering a recent discussion with my stepmum I just wanted to survey the 55+ year olds of mumsnet to check whether I'm way off.

She is absolutely insistent that in her youth women (most? all?) enjoyed being whistled or shouted appreciatively at when waking past a building site.

She thinks women's perception of this has changed in the last 20 years. All her friends enjoyed it in the 70s and 80s apparently.

For context she has been the subject of male violence including sexual violence and does not equate the two.

I find it hard to believe everyone enjoyed it and assume that women felt a lot less able to say they didn't like it due to fear of being called frigid, uptight etc.

I'm sure the answer might lie somewhere between the two extremes but just wondering what an AIBU poll might say.

V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

YABU = in my youth the majority of women I knew considered a wolf whistle as a cheeky but welcome compliment

YANBU = I didn't enjoy this even in the 70s

Yes, I agree about that story by @LondonFox . I am not responding to any of his posts any more.

His posts are erratic, and weird, and totally incel-like. He is utterly not backing down on that batshit 'I meowed and all the ladies got excited' yarn - or admitting he was wrong about what a cat-call is.

His posts have descended into being pretty weird, very offensive, and rather disturbing. 😐

Finally @LondonFox 's mask slipped off completely. As I said, I am not engaging with him any longer on this thread, and will not respond to any of his posts!

It's honestly never bothered me and never made me feel unsafe. Yes maybe sometimes flattered. I'm 38

Same here, @HeySummerWhereAreYou . The last post just makes it all very clear.

I'm in my 40s now but I quite liked it.
I remember my mum really having a go at men who looked at me and informing them that I was only 13 or 14.
I thought she was embarrassing but I never felt threatened or anything I took it as a compliment.

Even now? Looking back as an adult, grown men leering over a child is a compliment?

Yep @poppyzbrite4 A desperately worrying and disturbing comment there from @Lallyhead87

I assumed the poster meant she took it as a compliment when she was 13 or 14. Not that she still thinks it was a complement!

@poppyzbrite4 That's the weird thing, these posters who say they enjoyed it.. aren't they at least disgusted that grown men did it to young girls but not them as older women?

It seems not. I'm assuming it's just something they accepted as flattering without acknowledging that it was often much older men. When I was a teenager, it wasn't unusual for teenagers to have much older boyfriends.

Absolutely hated it. Had men commenting on me when I was 14. Always some turd trying to chat me up. Didnt go out to certain pubs cos it felt constant. Reported a group of builders to their boss. Used to go for runs dressed as a bloke late at night, threatened to punch a group of 19-20 years olds once, who were shouting at me running. I was happy when I reached 40 and could live a free life.

Yes I agree about the age difference not being a thing. When I was 18 I went out with a 25 year old for about 5 years. I was always more attracted to older men as they seemed more mature. My friend is happily married for 34 yrs to someone who is 7 year older than her who she met at 18. 14 year olds wanted to go out with over 17s as they might have a car. Now people frown on it. Times change!

I remember much bigger age gaps. A 16 year old I knew was in a relationship with a 32 year old and no one thought it strange.

Thank god times have changed.

Tbh a lot of you got pretty upset about a fact that some women (around half of them on MN) think catcalling is ok and they don't mind it.

You can make a hell of a drama over few posts I made but you cannot deny that some portion of female population is getting male attention and enjoying it.

Just for the record, I am a woman, happily married and never had issues with any of it as long as people stop if you do not engage back in flirting.
It is quite simple and works for both genders.

When did you stop doing animal impressions in public? I'm intrigued.

@LondonFox the poll wasn't for if women find catcalling ok. It was for if in the PAST they found it ok.

So yes, a lot of women as daft teenagers found it a compliment, then the vast majority grew up and had a different view.

Exactly, and now he is saying he is a woman going around meowing at other women, then claiming it proves women like catcalls from men. WTAF?
Absolutely batshit.

Am 45, so haven't voted to impact on the result but, for what it's worth, I'm inclined to agree to a certain point.

I wouldn't say I ever 'enjoy/ed' being catcalled... but nor did I hate it. The fact someone of the opposite sex thought I was attractive enough to say so out loud was, often-times, very flattering.
Years ago, it's how people got 'chatted up'; now everyone is too scared to say ANYTHING!

I'd also agree that catcalls/romantic advances are not remotely akin to sexual violence. In fact, this comparison has always irritated me for the simple fact that these kinds of complaints take attention away from genuine victims of sexual violence.

People are bound to disagree. That's fine. But this is my own opinion based on my own experience.

Catcalls are not romantic advances.
Shouting out crude and offensive remarks to embarrass, harrass and demean is neither charming nor engaging.
"People are too scared to say ANYTHING?"
Well, it doesn't seem to deter some men.

Oh, and complaining about them in no way, shape or form takes "attention away from genuine victims of sexual violence".
If you object to a complete stranger shouting out sexual remarks and threats, you're not the one responsible for another woman not being heard about sexual assault and rape. Think about it.

Agree. That was a ridiculous post. "Catcalls/romantic advances."😄

Creating that equivalency is just a method to reduce it and tell girls and women that they're at fault. Same old playbook.

Years ago, it's how people got 'chatted up'; now everyone is too scared to say ANYTHING

you know thats bollocks don’t you, the young adults i know have no difficulty ‘chatting people up’

dd is very confident, makes the first move loads of times! Lots of boys seem to be a bit porn addled now but that a whole different dating issue!