Did women used to enjoy being catcalled?

[Gofastboatsmojito]

Hi,

Filtering a recent discussion with my stepmum I just wanted to survey the 55+ year olds of mumsnet to check whether I'm way off.

She is absolutely insistent that in her youth women (most? all?) enjoyed being whistled or shouted appreciatively at when waking past a building site.

She thinks women's perception of this has changed in the last 20 years. All her friends enjoyed it in the 70s and 80s apparently.

For context she has been the subject of male violence including sexual violence and does not equate the two.

I find it hard to believe everyone enjoyed it and assume that women felt a lot less able to say they didn't like it due to fear of being called frigid, uptight etc.

I'm sure the answer might lie somewhere between the two extremes but just wondering what an AIBU poll might say.

V grateful if women of age 55+ only vote

YABU = in my youth the majority of women I knew considered a wolf whistle as a cheeky but welcome compliment

YANBU = I didn't enjoy this even in the 70s

Maybe!

It was threatening then. Believe me.

Jesus wept

I'm 65. I found it objectionable, as did most of the other woman I knew. That might be because my circle of friends were largely feminists who didn't like being treated like a piece of meat. Yes, feminists did exist in those days!

I think in some ways worse and in some ways not worse.

Back then - the Yorkshire Ripper. In those more parochial times the news and the country was OBSESSED with him. There was, effectively, a female curfew out of fear of men.

Also back then - modern feminism was utterly rudimentary and considered weird. Women were expected to fear men and do what they were told and that that was the correct order of things. THIS at least has largely changed, backlash and Tate etc notwithstanding.

I’m in my 40’s and my dmum in her 70’s, growing up I was definitely taught that it was a compliment, and as a teen / 20-something was definitely flattered by it. It’s really only in the last few years and reading threads like this that I’ve kind of thought of it differently. I still feel somewhat conditioned though to smile and be nice when men make comments, but at least I’m questioning it in my own mind more.

@heldinadream exactly. Also it's less routine now. It was an everyday experience to see men looking at page 3 on public transport, Pirelli calenders in the work place, the general acceptance of harassment.
"It's flattering, get over it".

We were going past a cafe and a man in his 50s said to his friend about my teenage daughter, Cor what a peach. I stepped on his foot, by accident as I went past and smiled directly at him as I did it for good measure.

I'm 60. It was always awful. Maybe some women believed it was simply something they had to accept. But I was fortunate enough to be brought up to not expect to be objectified.

@coldcallerbaiter good. Cheering you on, here! 💪

I remember once a teenage boy on a bike shouted out “nice legs shame about the face”, as I walked by as a young girl. The catcalls and the insults. I had both.

Yes, because it wasn't flattering because it didn't come from a place of liking or loving women but from a place of despising and objectifying them.

That teenage boy learned that you weren't an equal, @Username056 . He was free to comment and judge. Your body wasn't your property, but a commodity.

I LOVE 'looking at you, what is there to smile about?!'😆

I am using that one if/when it happens again!

This works too! 😆

The worst "cheer up, darling, it might never happen" was shouted at me just after my Mum died. I'm embarrassed to say that I started crying. I felt so raw.

I always used to respond to, 'smile. It might never happen', with, 'It already has.'

The worst cat call I ever had was many years ago when I was very obviously pregnant. Utterly repulsive.

This. @LondonFox do you really think cat-calling is 'meowing?'

FFS!

CATCALLING is harassment!

From Wikipedia:

Catcalling (Street Harassment,) is a form of harassment, primarily sexual harassment that consists of unwanted sexualised comments, provocative gestures, wolf whistles, indecent exposures, stalking, persistent sexual advances, and touching by strangers, in public areas such as streets, shopping malls, and public transport! More often aimed at women (by men.)

LOL!!! 😆

'Yep, it already has - as I have met you you fucking numpty!' (Aimed at the man of course not you @ObelixtheGaul 😄)

I'm so sorry.

I'm in my mid 70s now and no I didn't feel flattered by men whistling or cat calling at me.

I hated it. It was embarrassing, made me incredibly uncomfortable and often felt threatening.

I'm really surprised by the amount of women on here who seemed to be grateful that a bunch of strange men thought it was okay to yell things at them in the street.

Well maybe the ones who appreciated it got very few whistles.

Thank you! I felt so stupid but it was utterly shit. Not the worst kind of harassment I ever experienced, but just so crap.

Truthfully I took it as a compliment. Body issues and anxiety around it whenni got whistled it did make me smile inside. Outside.i blushes bright red and scurried away! I'm early 40s