If your husband worked these hours how much help would you expect?

[Woister]

I am a SAHM. Dh works long hours. I basically do all the childcare and house work. In fairness when Dh is off he will take care of 85% of childcare ie take kids out swimming, bowling etc.

So the day before Dh got home a 8pm, then left the following day at 12pm to be home at 3 am. He will be leaving today at 12pm.

how much help would you expect from husband with these hours?

Yes but he's doing a lot in other respects. Taking care of the kids 85% of the time he's not working, doing his own washing, sometimes cooking. Yes he should wash his bowl but it doesn't mean he sees OP as a skivvy if he leaves his bowl on the side. It just might not register. If I'm a bit distracted I leave my bowl on the side. My DH sometimes leaves his bowl in the side, I just put it in the dishwasher- and he does the same for me. No big deal.
If this is all OP has to complain about then I'm sure many would envy her.

Spending time with his own children after being away from them, doing his own washing and sometimes cooking is the bare minimum surely.

I'm not envious of OP as I have a husband who does all that and manages to clean up after himself.

I would be envious of someone who gets to have an exciting, well paid career with lots of downtime and then doesn't even have to pick up after themselves when they are home or do anything other than their own washing and sometimes cook while having someone doing all the drudge work of parenting so I can do the fun stuff when I'm around. Sounds like a great deal to me!

I think OP should speak with him and explain how she is feeling.

It's hard doing the majority of raising a baby on your own, let alone with 2 older kids to look after.

Hopefully he will realise he's being thoughtless and clean up after himself (still bare minimum tbh) and isn't one of those people who thinks earning money means he gets to have a skivvy.

Yeah my son is climbing bunk beds at two and a half. Just taught him to climb down properly!