To always shower before sex?

[Schleep]

Inspired by someone's statement on another thread.
I've admittedly got some issues around intimacy so could well BU.
I cannot have sex without being absolutely certain I'm completely clean beforehand - I will always wash before. I don't care if DP is freshly showered, assuming he's not really filthy obviously.

So, Mumsnetters, AIBU?

YANBU - I always wash before
YABU - Its not essential

So no spontaneous sex ever?

Only if the spontaneity occurs short minutes after showering.

What about morning sex just after waking up?

I was incredulous after reading on the other thread that some people always shower before sex.

When I was last having it, that certainly didn't always happen depending on whether the sex was planned.

Who always wants to plan?

Possibly if I showered the night before

I shower every evening around 8pm and the vast majority of any sex happens at bedtime so that’s fresh enough for me.

Nope, never make sure I shower before, I mean I shower at least once a day anyway so am always reasonably clean, but if anything being all freshly showered would make me less likely to want sex as I like to enjoy the nice fresh and clean feeling not mess it up with sex lol

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_odour_and_sexual_attraction

I can’t see voting, but YABU.

Bugger, doesn't look like I made it a poll 😕

YABU, I'd rather keep the spontaneity when it's with a DP

YANBU for casual sex though

After, yes. Before, not unless it’s a coincidence.

What about first thing or middle of the night sex. Or an afternoon quickie? It feels like it might stop spontaneity.

OP, you do whatever makes you feel comfortable and sexy.

Doesn't look like polls are an option on the app! Sorry for that.

Crikey, I never feel sexy. But I'll settle for vaguely comfortable 😅

I prefer to shower but I also enjoy the spontaneousness of sex and wouldn’t want t to lose that with my dp as it really adds to the pleasure tbh. But then again we don’t really schedule sex but we both somehow know it’s on some nights and other times it’s a complete surprise which I love the most.

Sorry, YABU.

Sounds like a mood killer.

Nope not here. Would take all the fun spontaneity out of things. Nipping off for a pre-shag shower would ruin the mood for me 🤣
But do whatever works for you!

I prefer both of us to shower. I feel more relaxed and can get 'my head in the game' more easily. I rarely spontaneously want sex so it is not a mood breaker for me. My DH on the other hand now gets VERY excited if I have a shower at an unusual time.

Your body, your choice.

I have to admit I can’t quite see how the logistics work. Do you plan the sex in advance or do you interrupt proceedings to pop off and have a shower?

casual planned sex with, say, FWB yes.

ONS type thing, no.

with live in partner 'sometimes' if it's the evening & it's obvious where it's going, but don't feel the need to go & shower first if it 'just happens'. (Which is by far the majority of the time). I love being woken up...

God no. I read that post like this . Sex is meant to be smelly and messy. Obviously not manky but at any given time I would at least have had a shower that morning. I like the smell of a body when I'm having sex. Pheromones and all that stuff. There is a huge difference between someone who has poor self care and someone who showers daily and generally looks after their body.

I’d say Yabu. I make sure I’m fairly recently showered but it may be a few hours. Or we sometimes have morning sex. I get a bit anxious about morning oral sex (on me) but dp would happily crack on.

That. Sex was never been a planned thing for us. I really don't understand where showering before would come into things, while still retaining the urge.