To always shower before sex?

[Schleep]

Inspired by someone's statement on another thread.
I've admittedly got some issues around intimacy so could well BU.
I cannot have sex without being absolutely certain I'm completely clean beforehand - I will always wash before. I don't care if DP is freshly showered, assuming he's not really filthy obviously.

So, Mumsnetters, AIBU?

YANBU - I always wash before
YABU - Its not essential

Me and DH generally shower beforehand, but that's because we know when it's happening as we have to wait for DS to be asleep first! So no harm in having a freshen up before we DTD. But we will have morning sex too, so it's not all the time.

I like spontaneity - seizing the moment because we both feel in the mood. Showering first would seem clinical and really kill the mood for me! So YABU from my perspective.

If you need to shower first, do you never have sex anywhere that isn't at home?

If you want to shower before sex YANBU. It’s your choice.

How does that work with al fresco sex ?

Before my current partner, yes. Now I know how much he loves the smell of me, no!

We went away last weekend. Majorettes after sex in the morning then spent the r whole day walking around the town/ came back in the evening and had the best sex we had ever had and he said it was because he was so turned on by how amazing I smelled!

I think men love the natural scent of women so don’t stress or worry about it. Just relax, go with the flow and enjoy how much your partner gets from it.

of course, if you prefer to scrub away and perfume your natural pheromones first, then go right ahead

We do. Maybe it's different with two vaginas?

I like to be fresh and partner to be fresh too. Personally not a fan of sweaty vulva.

Not so much for straight piv sex. That I would have without showering.

Totally with you on this. I just showered and now I'm going to get sweaty and maybe a bit sticky? No thanks.

If I felt really grotty (long day doing gardening maybe) then I wouldn't feel like sex until I'd had a shower, but then....see above 😂

Need to be fairly clean but not freshly showered.

I think different people have different preferences. That's awesome your man loves the smell after a day out, but not everyone does.

I couldn't deal with scheduled post shower sex. The lack of spontaneity would be boring.

Neither me and my partner are filthy and have good standards of hygiene.

Surely, everyone gets a little sweaty during sex anyway.

I never always shower before sex because it is simply not possible or doesn't work out logistically. It also rules out any kind of spontaneous sex. I obviously make sure mouth and genitals are clean but no shower.

My leccy bill would be through the roof!

Why does your sense of reasonableness depend on what other couples do? Sort it out with the person you're slagging.

This is a TAAT tbh, however the OP in that had been at work all day.
Yes, I would be showering at that point

😂 hearing a shower will be having a Pavlov effect on him

How do you plan this though?

Do you both start getting intimate and then you hop in the shower quickly?

Or do you have a shower and then initiate it?

I always feel better when I’m freshly showered and I tend to have a shower before bed but I love spontaneous or morning sex and don’t like planned sex as much.

No but I always ALWAYS shower after.

Do you get another one after or in the morning?

Now you are just bragging!

She works in an office, not down the pit

It’s a preference but not always 100% necessary.

If we are in the mood for a quickie then I’ll go with it but would probably rather not receive oral if I’ve not showered.

spontaneous sex is rare with young SEN child who is up throughout the night and often cosleeps!

😂😂😂

I have been known to announce I am at peak fuckableness to DH when I have just showered, shaved, washed and styled my hair (arguably my best feature) to look fabulous. But neither of us have any personal hygiene issues so the only prerequisite for sex is that we are both in the mood and adult children are out of the house!

Never done this, but I go for men who take a more Napolean stance on things: 'home in three days - do not wash' 😁

If people are clean anyway {a shower or bath daily or twice daily} they won't be that smelly, surely?