To always shower before sex?

[Schleep]

Inspired by someone's statement on another thread.
I've admittedly got some issues around intimacy so could well BU.
I cannot have sex without being absolutely certain I'm completely clean beforehand - I will always wash before. I don't care if DP is freshly showered, assuming he's not really filthy obviously.

So, Mumsnetters, AIBU?

YANBU - I always wash before
YABU - Its not essential

Could you BE any more Jilly Cooper

Is there room to be smacked on the rump in a tractor cab?

It's pretty standard in Japan to shower before sex, apparently. I have a friend who lived there for a year.

Not all sex involves oral though, if it had been a full on day I wouldn’t do that, but no problem w the rest

No idea who that is, sorry 😂

I probably would with a new DP, but only because my old DP gave me the impression that I smelled bad (I shower daily, sometimes twice a day in summer), and I'd want to be confident that I was very fresh beforehand.

Would a penis beaker by the bed do?

No way, it would be a mood killer and sex should be a natural thing. Plus I like the smell of my partner and vice versa. I don’t find it that weird though, you do you OP.

Exactly! I won’t have sex unless I’m freshly washed.
Piss lingers!
And yes, I’ll get up and have a shower in the morning if it’s on the cards. I can’t relax unless I feel absolutely clean.
And that basically means no piss on the puss! 😂

I would need to feel fairly clean, but if I will freshen up on the loo beforehand if necessary. Quick dab of soap around the vulva and a bit of water from the tap, patted on by hand! Also a wet wipe to the rear. (Apparently we all have poo particles around there simply from farting 🤮)
Takes two minutes and is easier than a second shower of the day.

'So much residue' 😂I'm sorry, but it's just such a hilarious hyperbole. Also, the word 'residue' is intrinsically funny somehow.

Anyway. I've honestly yet to meet a man who is remotely concerned by this issue, and I'm certainly not, so it's all good.

All the men I've ever slept with just haven't been the 'Eww, women's genitals, gross' type of bloke, and I'm certainly not the 'Eww, men's genitals, gross' type of woman, so Residue Fear has never been a factor in my sex life.

If you and your partner are both keen on a pre-sex washing ritual, obviously it works for you, which is great. We all find different things sexy, clearly.

When I was much younger, my boyfriend at the time came to pick me up after I'd been to a very wild gig in a very hot, packed venue with my friends. I got into the car - hair wet with sweat, smudged eye makeup, basically looking like I'd been out in the rain - and said something about needing a shower when we got back to his flat. He made it very graphically clear that he did not want me to shower until after certain other things had been done. A lot of men are very very into it, is all I'm saying...

we have spontaneous morning sex, but I won't kiss him. and try not to breathe in his face - morning breath YUK. Personally for me, bad breath is the BIGGEST turn off.. So i might not necessarily enjoy it as much. But i admit - i like clean, freshly showered sex (although not a deal breaker - will have "dirty sex")

We tend to both have a quick shower, nothing major 5 mins tops. I can’t relax if I don’t feel clean, more so with oral though. I probably would have a quickie. Most of our sex involves oral though so showers are likely.

my DP doesn’t really care I don’t think. He’s just happy sex is on the cards.

Also as for morning sex I don’t mind this! But then I get paranoid about my morning breath 🥴

Would it not make more sense to shower after

I agree with this, my husband just doesn't care, although we both shower once a day and I don't think he would be happy if I showered less than that.

Neither of us shower before sex but we both do afterwards, but we don't do oral normally. If we ever do oral then we both shower beforehand, more for me than him as I don't think he would care.

No, but if I can I wash down there first with water and plain soap.

I couldn’t give someone oral who’d had a wee after a wash.

same with dh, he wouldn’t go down on me if I’d had a wee after a wash.

id have sex without a wash, but wouldn’t do oral

I love morning sex.

Guys can anyone help me out with this one? But embarrassed to make my own thread but how smelly is smelly when we're talking vaginas? I shower in the morning and try not to use harsh soaps, either just water or a really mild soap on the outside but I feel within an hour or so I smell again 😞 .. it does smell like fish..quite strong 😳 I then have another shower in the evening but again I never feel fully fresh. I did have some health checks down below recently but they came back negative for any infections and I struggle to know whether I'm normal or not can anyone shed light on this for me it's starting to get to me

Neither me or DH give a crap about any of this. It’s an unfortunate way to view sex in my opinion.

Sounds like BV.

Can’t imagine it. I get into bed and we might cuddle and that might lead to sex. To get up and shower before would completely kill the mood.

Been checked for Bv and apparently not that...