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Original poster

About boyfriend visiting a quaker house?

382 replies

Celia24 · 05/09/2024 06:24

We've been together for a year. When we met and religion came up I told him I was atheist and asked his views he said he was agnostic but didn't actively believe or practice.

Last week, the topic came up again casually and he suggested he was spiritual although didn't fully commit to saying he believed in God. He also said he didn't really agree with atheism as it was too severe.

Then while in London this week he visited a quaker house in an amazing building he came across! He joked he didn't know they even still existed and mentioned 'you'd have no need for one as an atheist'.

I'll be honest, he has never told me if he was religious in any way and I feel a bit annoyed by this. I want to have children and I don't want to raise them in a faith because that isnt my belief though I respect others.

OP posts:
Bruisername · 06/09/2024 21:32

I’m an atheist and I’m not anti religion. I don’t give it a thought to be honest

Bakingbread · 06/09/2024 23:38

Talk to him not to us....

Thefsm · 07/09/2024 01:56

I always felt it was far safer and healthier to raise my kids to know about all the main religions and experience going to their various places of worship while kids - otherwise you risk them becoming one of those obnoxious folks who find god at university and make it their life’s work to preach to all their family and friends. Kids love to rebel against their parents.

anyway you have no reason to be pissed off at him, it’s a non issue. He probably just meant he didn’t invite you as didn’t think you’d be interested. I hardly think one trip to a religious building means he’s a convert

Curtainseeker · 07/09/2024 18:27

Celia24 · 05/09/2024 06:24

We've been together for a year. When we met and religion came up I told him I was atheist and asked his views he said he was agnostic but didn't actively believe or practice.

Last week, the topic came up again casually and he suggested he was spiritual although didn't fully commit to saying he believed in God. He also said he didn't really agree with atheism as it was too severe.

Then while in London this week he visited a quaker house in an amazing building he came across! He joked he didn't know they even still existed and mentioned 'you'd have no need for one as an atheist'.

I'll be honest, he has never told me if he was religious in any way and I feel a bit annoyed by this. I want to have children and I don't want to raise them in a faith because that isnt my belief though I respect others.

Surely you wouldn’t want to raise your children as atheist? You’d raise them to have awareness of different faiths and make their own minds up?

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 07/09/2024 19:00

You say he'd usually go to a cafe or pub.

You know that the big Quaker Meeting House on Euston Road (right opposite the station) contains a cafe? (and non-religious bookshop, and the rest of the building is run as a conference centre). Loads of people go there to eat, or attend events, without having anything to do with Quakerism at all....

T1Dmama · 08/09/2024 01:54

Celia24 · 05/09/2024 06:40

@Galoop it seemed like he visited in a tourist way as he joked he didn't know they even existed anymore

But spending time in one rather than going to a cafe or pub isn't something he'd do usually.

I think the main point here is I wouldn't want future children to have a faith. That is the main concern with this and his opinion on atheists which he never shared before - presumably because he didn't want to put me off.

Why not?
xhikdren learn about the meaning of Christmas and Easter at school, they do the nativity play in infants every Christmas. RE is compulsory in most U.K. schools.

I don’t consider myself religious but do want my daughter to have the option to explore all religions and make her own decision. I’ve never put my views onto her, simply because being religious isn’t a bad thing, being an atheists isn’t bad either… BUT it should be a child’s choice and in order to have informed choice they should be allowed to explore….

My DD went to church at Christmas time and does RE at school…. For a few years now she’s expressed that she doesn’t believe in God and that was a conclusion she made by herself.

I think when you have children with someone you have to compromise and allow some of their beliefs to be part of your child’s life…. Your children can be bought up in a faith while still not being forced to take on that faith…. As long as at every step the child is allowed to say ‘I don’t want to go anymore’…. Then I don’t see the issue.

What does annoy me though is when certain religions knock your door or come up to you while you’re walking round town trying to ‘recruit’ you into their cult… annoys the hell out of me! I respect their belief and I just want my beliefs or lack there of to be respected too!

Thalia31 · 10/09/2024 03:36

Celia24 · 05/09/2024 06:24

We've been together for a year. When we met and religion came up I told him I was atheist and asked his views he said he was agnostic but didn't actively believe or practice.

Last week, the topic came up again casually and he suggested he was spiritual although didn't fully commit to saying he believed in God. He also said he didn't really agree with atheism as it was too severe.

Then while in London this week he visited a quaker house in an amazing building he came across! He joked he didn't know they even still existed and mentioned 'you'd have no need for one as an atheist'.

I'll be honest, he has never told me if he was religious in any way and I feel a bit annoyed by this. I want to have children and I don't want to raise them in a faith because that isnt my belief though I respect others.

You sound slightly nuts op

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