Not to know how to manage my evenings with DD?

[BarbaraVineFan]

I'm a single mum to an almost 5 year old DD who is just starting reception. I work full time as a teacher and don't have any family for childcare. She has been in preschool at my school for a year now.

Our routine currently is that DD is in after school club until 5.15- she has 'tea' there, which is something like cheesy pasta or a sausage roll. I pick her up and we get home about 5.45. I then give her a snack plate of a cheese or ham sandwich with lots of veg and fruit, something like cucumber, tomato, peppers and blueberries, and a yoghurt. She has this while watching TV 😳 and i use the time to decompress a bit from work but also to do things like laundry and housework . Then at about 6.45 we start the bedtime routine. I usually try to have her sleep by 7.45-8, since she has to be up at 6.45 in the morning. I then have my own dinner after she is in bed usually and i get my own work done then as well .

This has worked well for us this year but i am conscious that she will start to have reading and things to do in the evenings . Plus I am feeling guilty that i don't cook dinner (although she does get a hot lunch at school and also has the substantial 'tea' after school , so I'm not sure if she would eat another fullmeal).

The problem is that I can't work out how to change the evening routine. I.can't leave work any earlier and i don't really want to be putting DD to bed much later . How do people manage to get homework and dinner into the evenings ? Some sample timetables would be really helpful please ! Thanks in advance .

Your routine sounds perfect!💖

She can do her reading in bed at night with you.

By the time she has more homework she can stay up later to do it.

I think little and often with reading, so 15 mins every night is fine if you can add that to her routine.

I would keep her TV time - an hour is fine after her busy day and you need to be able to get things done so you have a little time to relax (hopefully) after her bedtime.

Food sounds fine!

It's a really busy routine for you. You are doing really well!

How much laundry are you doing? Buy enough clothes to do washing on the weekend so 5 x everything for school etc if you can afford it. Do only the basic cleans each day, eg wipe the surfaces. Invest in a robot vacuum again if you can afford. Minimise all qeekly activity to build back time. I feel for you as my DS had a similar routine at that age.

Food is fine BTW. At best my DS got pesto pasta and carrot sticks at home. He was eating tons of food at school!

It is tough! Try not to feel guilty. Dd is fine. Food is fine and don’t worry about homework at that age. Read at bedtime.

Relax about the food . I found quick teas the best - eggs, etc you can have propper food at the weekend. As long as they have had a hot lunch and a substantial tea at afterschool club.

Hold off on after school activities as long as possible we leave the house at 7.15am but Tuesday ( brass band practice ) Wednesday ( cubs) and Thursday ( jujitsu) we only get in the house at 7.30pm and it is straight to bed. We have picnic teas in the car these days.

As for reading, I found doing reading at bed time dragged it out. So now we have a book in the car, and he reads a chapter here there and everywhere.

Homework he gets a lot, but that is a sit down for an hour on Sunday morning job.

Housework. Last thing before bed load and set washing machine to come on overnight. First thing in the morning, stick in the dryer.
Sort the clothes on the weekend. Get the child to help.

Relax about all other housework. I wipe the bathroom while he has a shower but everything else is neglected.

Your doing fine.

This term will be hardest as she will be very tired. But also will likely not have a reading book for a little bit.

Do what you can but don’t sweat it. If you read every Friday, Saturday and Sunday that would be more than a lot of parents!

One of mine was a keen reader so she read to me at bedtime. That didn’t work with the other one so would slot five minutes in at some point or on Monday / Tuesday / Wednesday / Thursday she reads to you in the car and skips any words she can’t manage.

It sounds like you’re doing a great job!

Reading is about 3 times a week in reception and it's for about 5 - 10 mins so not much at all. Lots of reading us understanding what's going on in the pictures and recognising letters and words. You could pick some days not to do housework midweek and also factor in reading at the weekend. Other homework can be very light touch and completed over the weekend.

You are doing brilliantly. My only advice is try and make your child like soup and omelettes, if I had somehow got my kids to like them those primary school years would have been a lot easier!

We had homework from reception, nothing major but had to sit down and complete together.. regarding reading.. yes a few times a week is good but also after a few months when they start to pick it up.. get her to read to you on the way home from school, over a weekend etc.. it seems like a lot now but I promise as they grow and learn more.. they are more independent with their learning.
oh also, sometimes if we had a busy week, I’d talk to her about her homework over dinner so I’d ask about phonics etc.. she wouldn’t even realise but I knew I was encouraging it at home too

We had and still have a very similar routine. We keep all homework to weekends and tried to do resding at bedtime. Occasionally if we had time we’d read on waking up/at breakfast time

This sounds like a great routine! I am not sure I am ready to ban TV just yet, as DD isn't fantastic at playing by herself when she's tired, but I'll have this as an aspiration for the future!

I'd do homework as soon as you get home until 6.15 then food and a bit of tv. 7.15 upstairs brush teeth and wash and into bed for a story. If your doing baths I would stop and leave until weekend or do quick shower

1 hour of tv is fine

Thanks to everyone for the rally supportive comments and suggestions. To those suggesting omelettes, unfortunately DD doesn't eat eggs (used to be allergic and now doesn't like them) and is allergic to legumes, so that rules out lots of useful quick but hot teas like beans on toast, omelette, egg muffins etc :(

This actually looks quite manageable - I will try this too. Thanks @Hankunamatata !

We do all homework in the morning after breakfast but mine are early birds! Also put the odd load of washing on in the evening for a delayed wash to finish first thing. If doing delayed washing might help then you could shorten the TV time to 30 mins if there’s too much to fit in first thing.

I also put all uniform out and pack bags the night before. Partly because I’m hopeless in the morning, partly to allow the early bird kids enough time to do homework with my input if needed (they’re older than yours but still primary). Hope that adds a few ideas.

You won't need to do more than 15 minutes reading in reception so I would just start the bedtime routine a bit earlier to fit it in then

This sounds relentless for you, how many hours a week are you actually working?

My mum worked similar hours and for anything more substantial than reading homework just told my teacher that I could only complete it if it was given over a weekend (at primary) which was honestly fine.

One thing I found really useful when working was the “delay programme “ button on my washing machine. I could sort and load the machine in the morning, put the timer to come on in the early evening, when all I had to do was remove it from the machine. Sometimes I did it the other way, load it last thing at night to come on early in the morning so the cycle was finished by the time I woke up .

Instead of TV change it to educational apps like Hit the Button/Squeebles, Phonics games, Spelling Shed, Mathletics etc on an iPad? There is loads of stuff. Also audiobooks/rhymes/songs.
Do the 10 minute daily reading by her in the morning, if at all possible.

Precook some lentil/pulses/soup type dishes so warm and hearty for the autumn term?

You are doing an amazing job! Teaching full time (I am a teacher too) and looking after your daughter on your own must be a huge challenge. It sounds like you have it nailed. I really, really would not worry about a bit of TV. Someone upthread mentioned omelettes - best thing ever for children, so quick and easy. As others have said, reception is usually just a bit of reading so should fit in fine.

Agree with others. 5 shirts/ 5 skirts etc and wash at the weekend, get your washer going on Friday when you have your earlier finish. Everything goes in the wash basket until then.

A cheap robot hoover (I have a EUFY, he cost just over £100 two years ago) he's been a life saver. Send him trundling around whilst your upstairs doing bedtime routine.

Thanks, but I'm not sure about this idea. I think she needs a bit of downtime.

Sadly she is allergic to lentils and pulses (they are part of the legume family)

I’d try to get home earlier a couple of days (yes this means you doing more work later.) Your routine sounds great but children are exhausted when they start school. I’d have her in bed by 6:30 and then you shower/eat work.

At the last school I worked in, the older children listened to the little ones read, at afterschool club.