To think this comment about women with no female friends is problematic?

[Newlifeincoming]

I saw a comment recently that said “women who don’t have any friends that are women are red flags. I don’t care what anyone says.”

I find this a bit troubling and potentially judgemental.

AIBU for thinking that this perspective is unfair and doesn’t account for individual circumstances or preferences? What do you think about this kind of statement?

I have a few female friends but I have more male friends and my best friend is male.

I don’t see the issue at all.

Sensible not a red flag.

I find anyone who only has friends of one sex a red flag.

I mean I wouldn't judge an acquaintance that had no female friends (not that I'd know anyway!), but I agree with the statement that its a red flag so if I met someone and there was a chance of developing a friendship I'd be very wary to be honest.

I mean I wouldn't judge an acquaintance that had no female friends (not that I'd know anyway!), but I agree with the statement that its a red flag so if I met someone and there was a chance of developing a friendship I'd be very wary to be honest.

Yeah I would agree with that, I had a mum friend and we used to talk about demographic challenges and other interesting stuff. Women dismissing other women is ridiculous.

Yes I agree and don't think YABU at all.

I love my fellow women and will always support my female mates. Strong women who support other strong women are the best thing in society as far as equality amongst the sexes is concerned in my view and experience.

On the down side I am old enough to have encountered some pretty unpleasant and unexplained issues with women that don't align my beliefs.

I enjoy the company of both men and women yet I won't deny some women I've known are petty and bitchy in ways men are not. Men manage to be arseholes in different ways.

Why?

Can someone explain what 'pick me' means please. Genuine question I've not dared ask before.

Ahh another example of some shit used by women to put down other women. It's exclusionary bullshit, promoted by the type of person who peaked at 15. How does one propose a women with no female friends makes any female friends if they have all declared her a red flag before knowing anything about her?

I think it is a red flag, as it would be if a man had only female friends.

She might have been very badly bullied by girls at school and find it very difficult to trust women. Just one reason I can think of.

I think it says a lot about her. She sounds unpleasant and the statement reflects badly on her.

Horrendously bullied at an all-girls school, probbly because of undiagnosed autism, I have found it very hard to make or sustain female friendships for most of my adult life. However, now I am well past retirement age and with more self-confidence than I have ever had in my life, I have made several close friendships with other women, and revelling in it.

If you live on a cattle ranch in the Australian outback surrounded by cowboys and cowboys alone or similar then, yeah, not a red flag to only have male friends but otherwise I do find it concerning.

There is a reason I have no friends, I don't want any. I spent years trying to people please when I was younger only to be used, abused and thrown away when they got a better offer. It got to the point where I didn't see the point in friends. Now, I'm very independent, I don't really need any people in my life tbh. I've never been lonely, the people I do have in my life are because I actively choose them to be there.

Guess I’m a red flag as I don’t have any guy friends! 🤣🤣

Well aren’t you lovely.

I have few female friends. Men are generally easier in my experience.

Men are generally easier in my experience.

How so?

@KendraTheVampyrSlayer

Because it’s foolish to rely on your spouse for all your emotional needs. There’s no way of knowing for sure if the marriage will survive (just under half of all marriages don’t).

Because even if your marriage lasts you are shutting down your life if you only see one other person. You massively limit your life.

Because it’s really important not to live in one another’s pockets.

Because seeing a range of people gives you perspective on situations.

Because it’s important to have an independent third party to bounce ideas and opinions off.

And because spending all your time with one person is boring, however much you love them.

I personally don't think that men with female friends are particularly less objectifying of women. You only have to read many of the threads on here, where long standing male friends have "suddenly" wanted to get into their female friends knickers the minute she's divorced or widowed for example. Or even single women whose male friend makes a lewd remark after she thought he was a good buddy. I can add quite a few experiences of my own to that too - sadly.

I'm pretty close to my parents, and adult dds.

Did you miss this at the end of my post? I don't rely on only one person for all my emotional needs. I also do a lot of things alone, because I like to.

I suppose you could argue that viewing women who have male friends as man eaters may be a wee bit misogynistic (because that’s what it’s all about let’s be honest).

I think it can be a bit dismissive. People vary a lot. Some women may have a small number of friends and traditionally male interests. They may work in a male dominated industry and move around a lot so have mainly work friends. When I was in my late teens and only had male 'friends', I genuinely wanted friendship and was very lonely but was experiencing all kinds of abuse or if they weren't doing that they'd be claiming to be friends until making their next move. Luckily I have a mix of great male and female friends now but certainly don't judge people along prurient lines like that, although I am very selective.

And so much less rewarding 😉
(See the current trending thread about men being simple creatures who want a shag and a dinner and that’s about it)

Being serious, I agree with Nigella that a woman who can’t or won’t sustain friendships with other women would have me look askance. Barring trauma, it is a red flag.