Mil forcing dinner

[Pleeeeaaasehelp]

I’ll make it brief. Mil has never liked me, never really tried to hide it even in front of the kids( constant rudeness and belittling). We don’t see her often as she lives abroad. She’s not your normal Gma, never Birthday or Xmas gifts! But every time we do see her someone ( usually more than one!) ends up in tears when she leaves.
Now the kids are all young adults they don’t want anything to do with her. They pretend phones aren’t working etc…. However that comes back on me.. I’ve turned them against her.
I really haven’t.
For 30 years I’ve put up with her emotional abuse.
Anyway…. She’s coming over, demanding a family meeting about how badly she is treated in this family.
I’ve finally decided I can’t face her anymore and I don’t want to go. I’ve spent 27 years saying to DH it’s only a week, it’s your mum etc…. ( He gave up years ago)
Aibu.
Go She’s old, you’ve put up with it for this long…..

Uanbu. Don't go, let shit hit the fan, but know you’ve been forced a death by a thousand cuts

Well done @Pleeeeaaasehelp

I think many of us understand how you have got to this situation, but now you are seeing through what has been, and doing something about it, which is great.

Your dd sounds like a star. You've clearly done a great job bringing her up.

Your daughter is a superstar!

Your daughter was a star, but your DH must be feeling ridiculous at having to have his own daughter speak up for him, although I get that this woman has wielded power over him his whole life. How is he feeling about the whole situation now?

Ok, so it gets worse!
This morning she turns up at son’s work, he’s 20, and refused to leave until she spoke to him.
Management told her he’d ring later!!
He’s left through a back door and is now hiding out at a friends.
And my landline has been ringing all day. I’ve not picked up. I’m also now at a friends.
Hubby left at 6 am so I haven’t had a chance to speak to him yet.
Dd is also out, and finding this all hilarious, while I’m stressing but trying not to show it

Jeeeeeeeeeeeesus, she really can't read the room can she?!

She sounds unhinged.😟

😂😂😂😂😂 at DS leaving through the back door.

You need to reposition your mindset, OP. This isn’t stressful, it’s comic!

An angry deluded granny is stalking your family and they are ducking out and playing hide and seek while she runs about the city muttering how right she is. It’s slapstick; it’s ridiculous.

It’s also futile. Nothing is less likely to convince them she’s in the right than pursuing them to their places of work like a deranged person. She is making herself a laughing stock.

You never have to engage with her again. See it as the nonsense it is and let the stress roll off you.

Your DD sounds very mature, I love this new generation of young adults, people call them snowflakes or lazy but they're not, they have healthier outlooks on the unfair systems in place including toxic family members that believe they're in some sort of hierarchy!
Your MIL needs to be told off for harassing your sons work place that is absolutely abhorrent behaviour.

When you move house, DO NOT give out your new address!!!

This morning she turns up at son’s work, he’s 20, and refused to leave until she spoke to him.

She has crossed a line SO much further on than all previous lines here.
Fair play to his Manager for dealing with it, but there is no way your ds should be embarrassed at work like that.

Hopefully your dh will see this and tell her that was the straw that broke the camel's back and that she is not to contact any of you again.

😂😂😂😂😂 at DS leaving through the back door.

You need to reposition your mindset, OP. This isn’t stressful, it’s comic!

It's not 'comic'. It's harassment. Just because she's a granny that doesn't mean it's OK for her to GO TO HER GRANDSON'S EMPLOYER and refuse to leave until he comes out, pestering his boss over it. She's fucking insane. She's not funny.

I'm surprised she knew exactly where he works TBH.

If she carries this on you should report her for harassment.
Thats awful that she tried to embarrass your son like that at his place of work.
Ive been in a similar situation with toxic family making me feel like I can’t be at peace in my own home and having to go out to avoid the stalking.
Its not on.
This should be your final straw, surely your DH will step in and put her in her place now. She would never be welcome in my home again after crap like this.

It would be funny if it wasn’t real.

DH on a conference so not back til late. Think he’s going to hit the roof with her.

@mrswhiplington my dd called her unhinged years ago!

@BabaYetu
Im beginning to realise just how farcical this is. And you are absolutely right.
But my heart is pounding…..

Jeez these are bonkers updates!

For the OP’s peace of mind, finding this ludicrous - and her ghastly MIL a figure of fun - is so much better than being anxious and scared. Or do it seemed to me.

Depriving things of their power over me by laughing at them has helped me a great deal.

I'm so much longing to hear the next instalment.

Wondering if she's going to try the illness card? Probably she'll expect you to take her in when she's old and incapable anyway, stick to your guns @Pleeeeaaasehelp

@Pleeeeaaasehelp this could really make for a good comedy on tv!! you need to meet your son and daughter and go for a meal and tell your hubby to also meet at the restaurant then all of you stay for a few drinks! mil will be fed up sitting on your doorstep! she is a headcase!

Showing up at DS's place of employment!!! That would warrant a call to police, IMO. Many of us list our current employer on LinkedIn as it helps with future job prospects so not surprising she could access this...but showing up and making demands can, though not fault of his, hurt DS as he could be seen as a liability and quietly let go. His future career is likely to need a good reputation and she's harming his.

That is precisely why you should report her to police. She's truly unhinged.

Son is fuming, don’t think they will ever speak again!

I would encourage him in this. Imagine her living long and harassing his future DW...would you want some young woman to experience what you have?

Your DC have good heads on their shoulders.

Listen to your DC. Your MIL has handed you all a reason to go NC with her on a plate, if I were you I would take the opportunity now, before she pulls anymore entitled stunts.