Would you go nc with your parents for this

[giantcolouringbook]

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

23 year olds can still act like teenagers 😉

How do you plan to go nc if you live with them?

Move out, do what you wish, problem sorted.

I think you are being given a rough ride here. It might be an overrreaction to go nc but it is a bit off of your dad to not want you around ona Friday or whatever.
Instead of nc I would distance yourself and move out as that's what the parents want. Hurtful I know.

They didn't have to articulate it that way, but I expect they enjoy the times they have the place to themselves. My adult daughter lives with me,I like it when she's on holiday as she is challenging, but there's no way I'd want her to leave until she's ready.

Sorry but they are a bit out or order. I’d take it as a heavy hint they want me to move out

Grow up. You're acting like a petulant child.

It's their home. That they pays for. They are entitled to relax and chill as they please.

You sound very entitled. Do you pay rent?

Maybe you need to look at market rent where you live, the cost of gas, electric,wate, food ect. Where I live a room is £1000pcm. It might make you more grateful.

Your 23 and still living at home. You announced to your parents that your now going to work 4 days a week so you're going to be at home another day a week. You were not happy with what your father said to you.
My feeling is that your living at home and this could be happening. Your possibly not paying much in rent or towards the bills. Your getting online shopping in the post. You have money for this and complain about the when your asked to pay rent or a share of the bills.
Then you expect you dinner every evening, ask your mother to wash your clothes or leave the house in the mess.

I had a few friends who were living with parents as adults due to different reasons. My friends realised that long term they needed to leave home due to been asked a lot of questions, not having their own personal space and realised that it better for everyone if they moved out of the family home.
For your own sake it good to move out of home and stand on your own 2 feet as well.
Most people of your age are living away from home or are travelling and perhaps your parents were looking forward to having their house and time on their own like the rest of their friends. Also they could be paying higher bills and food costs with you living at home.

You can't go no contact when your still living in the family home but you need to get your act together and move out within in next few months. Also get out of the house more and give your parents some alone time.

Hmm.
Sorry, I didn't realise this was projecting.
My parents started with a similar lark when
I was only 12.
This type of emotional abuse tends to escalate, as they think they can take their frustration on the most vulnerable member of the family.
Obviously moving out would be the best option, and at least keep them at an arms length.

I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back

Not a great response from your parents but going nc over it? 😂 Get a grip and grow up.

You're in for a tough ride with life if you keep going at this rate.

What a bizarre over reaction. There comes a time when parents may want a bit a space- unless there is a back story I can’t imagine the thought process you have used after a disagreement to go NC

Are you sure 😆, they may have a personal slave too 😂😂😂.

@giantcolouringbook , I agree with many pp , it seems like a over reaction on both parties.

Providing you are contributing £s and doing your fair share of cooking and cleaning it is your home too so you should be able to choose how much time you do / don't spend there.
That said I do think it would be a good time to start house hunting, I know it's hard to find places but perhaps a flat share would work for you.
If its a cost thing bear this in mind , if you can not afford your own place you need to respect your DM /DD wishes.

You could maybe pick up a part time job on the extra day off and over your weekend to help you save up and move out. That's how I saved up got my deposit;)

Going non contact is the nuclear option and frankly a little immature in this situation.

Talk to your parents - find out what the issue is. Are they annoyed about some aspect of you living at home? Are you pulling your weigh with housework, do you hog the tv, do they enjoy peaceful time just themselves?

your dads reaction does seem OTT but don’t match his energy - deescalate it.

it may be that living together as adults just isn’t working out: Could you rent with friends?

Your dad is in retirement- that “doing nothing and pottering about” is what he’s worked for. Blissful for some!

It doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it means they’re frustrated that you aren’t flying the nest. You’re still going to be in the nest for 3 days a week.

I never get the argument that it's all about whether the adult child pays rent anyway.

If the dishwasher breaks, is she phoning the repair company?
If the roof needs replacing, is she getting quotes?
If the garden is overgrown, is she weeding it?
If the washing machine filter needs to be unblocked, is she doing it?
Does she clear out of date food from the fridge?
Descale the kettle/showerheads?

I bet the answer is no for almost all adult children living with their parents

Which is fine because it's not their house, it's their parents' house but then they can't expect an equal say in everything either.

They aren't housemates, it's not an equal relationship, they're lodgers.

How will you go NC seeing as you live with them? Or have misunderstood?

what about moving into a house share with your mates Op? Or you can get shared houses for young professionals. @giantcolouringbook
and then you can do what you want.

p.s you can hardly go no contact with them if you live with them can?!

It's rather sad that at 23 you consider compressed hours to be an opportunity to hang around the house like a retired, old person.
Anyway, it's time to move out.

Look, I went NC with a parent. I lived with emotional abuse and was only able to go nc when their behaviour brought SS to our door and put my children at risk.

I think if there was a significant backstory of ongoing abuse the OP would have come back to explain that by now.

Young adults living an extended period of adolescence at home, as the OP is, can sometimes have issues around growing up/maturing.

How many people find they revert back to the parent/child dynamic when they return to the family home? No one chooses too; it just happens. She has never left that.

The OP works full time in a job that offers compressed hours and she wants to spend her extra day off lazing around the house because her dad does. That doesn't sound to me like someone who has grown up in abuse and is desperate to leave.

That sounds like someone who has got quite a cushy life and isn't in a huge rush to forgo the home comforts whilst not actually taking responsibility for herself.

I can well imagine that is somewhat frustrating for her parents.

It's not abusive for them to articulate that.

You’re upset because you’ve finally got the message your parents have been trying to send you. They want you to move out! Perhaps on your extra day off you could get a second job to help you do so? Until you do so, I think it’s extremely ungrateful and bratty to ‘go nc’ with the people whose house you live in, presumably very cheaply if you do contribute at all.

Exactly, it works both ways. If they want OP out at all cost and cant stand her being in the house, then the consequence could be having to sort out their own care later on in life.

But OP is already working full time, not sure you are grasping the idea of condensed hours. The extra day is not to work even more.

dont compress your hours op

From both of you.
It's a strange comment from him but also an extreme reaction from you, unless there is more to it and you have other issues with your parents

I don’t think you’ve grasped the concept of a second job. This is a job you do in addition to full time hours in order to earn more money so you can do the things you need to do (such as move out).