Would you go nc with your parents for this

[giantcolouringbook]

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

and not acting like it.

I am sorry your parents were abusive.

But you aren’t the Op. so you going Nc and projecting your situation on to Op, isn’t relevant.

Is there going to be a massive drip feed from @giantcolouringbook where she tells us it's actually her house that her parents live in?

I think OP you don't understand what NC means.

You cannot go non contact with someone when you live in their home.

You have 3 adult children that only work weekends? And are around all week? So not away at uni, or studying? Just work 2 days a week each?

I can understand how you feel OP. However, they clearly are ready for you to move out now. The time has come!

No need for dramatics or going NC. Just start looking for a flat share or renting by yourself if you can afford it (no idea of your income or location which dictate options)

It would worry me more, OP, that you said you had nowhere else to go on your day off. You’re 23, get out and get interests.

I understand your parents' frustration to a point. They are retired and expected to have the house to themselves by now. Instead they are seeing you spending more time in their house.

Either formulate a plan for your days off so you're not just moping around the house or move out.
I have an adult DC who lives at home (returned after Uni) and not only that but they work from home too. When they first moved back they worked in an office, which was better, but sadly with a change of job this is no longer an option. It completely alters the dynamics of the house. We haven't, however, fallen out over it. I'm glad they are working and saving so they can ultimately buy a house and move out for good.

It's also... OPs house? It's their home. If they pay towards the bills/mortgage etc, they are within reason to also be ion the said house.

OK, I'll give you another persepective.
Have a google for all the thread from SAHMs (or even part time working mums) complaining about their DHs working from home all the time.

it's not a question of them not liking each other, it's not a question of anyone being unwelcome in their own home, it's simply that having another person in the house adds a different dynamic and makes it difficult to relax in the same way.

Your parents like having you about (generally). They just don't want you about any more than you are now. A bit like how I have some friends that I love dearly, but I wouldn't want to go on holiday with them as we'd drive each other mad.

Can I also say that, at 23, I'm surprised you don't want to do more with your extra day off than just potter about the house doing nothing. Are you stuck in a bit of a rut?

It’s not Ops house. It’s currently their home. But not their house.

We don’t know if Op is paying towards bills. But if Op gets a say what goes on in the house so should get parent? And they didn’t get a say in this.

they are retired but it doesn't mean they expect to have the house to themselves, i think they are being unreasonable. personally my dh would be thrilled with the company

i am sorry their reaction is unfriendly op

You're 23 years old with a full-time job - it's time to move out and stand on your own two feet, not hang around your parents' house all the time.

Time to move out maybe?

You sound pretty immature. Of course your being around makes a difference to them. That said, i can understand you feeling a bit put out to hear that they don't want you around. But then children. Ever can imagine how much work it is having them around and that parents might actually need a break from them once in a while. How exactly do you think going NC would work logistically? You do realise that you would need to move out, do your own cleaning, cooking, pay the bills (council tax, water, electricity, food, deposit, rent, internet) and not be able to come home for a Sunday's lunch, Christmas dinner or have any more Christmas and Birthday presents from them ever again?

I have seen this said before on here but I have never really understood it.

Even if the OP is paying a contribution to her parents, unless she is named on the mortgage, no she doesn't have any rights. At best she is a lodger, she needs to abide by the rules set out by her parents or they can kick her out.

Of course in a loving family dynamic it shouldn't feel like that but I think these multi generational households only really work when the adult children either really step up and take a full part in running the household (that's the way South Asian households will typically work) or accept their parents are in charge and play by their rules

And TBH DH definitely has the right to live here but would also consult and consider me before taking a role that involved being at home more - I don't even think it's just about the adult/child dynamics

Op youre telling us you're parents are so unhinged they are raging because you have a day off ... is this made up or you've missed out major info. If not made up then yes absolutely go no contact and contact the authorities immediately, you're parents need to be sectioned.

Let us compare your hanging around the house (23, living in your parents house, in the gift of your parents, as the classics would say) and that of your dad, enjoying his well-earned retirement in his OWN house, shall we? Are you serious?

This.

Take the hint.

Leave and see a lot more of the world and what goes on in it. That way you will have a few edges rubbed off and you will become more sanguine about life instead of talking clart about going NC with your parents over something that would probably drive most of us doo lally.

Having a 23yo daughter living at home with this sort of mind set would have me building an ejector seat.

You want to go NC over this? Yes that is a massive, massive overreaction unless there's a backstory you haven't shared.

This is a great idea. Perfect opportunity to bank some extra cash for your own house!

@mumsnet please please ban my account. I love mumsnet and find myself wanting to read posts most days but I'm at the stage where either ppl really are unhinged or most of these threads are fake. Please ban me today!

Well I love my parents and would be horrified if they went NC with me. I also would not want them just hanging around my house while I potter about on my days off. So yes, they would be extremely unwelcome in that scenario.

If my adult child, who doesn't have enough money to move out despite having had 5 years to save, had also freed up some of their time I would be extremely disappointed if they were not using this to maximise their earning potential and earn more money so they could move out sooner and instead chose to spend the time they'd freed up further impinging on my retirement.

Move out and move on. Your parents are being the reasonable ones here.

OP, what is the purpose of going no contact?

Personally I would look to move out ASAP and then go low contact with them. As in, not make much effort to see them. They can enjoy all their peace and quiet then.