Would you go nc with your parents for this

[giantcolouringbook]

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

Where has she said she does? I asked in my first post whether or not she does her fair share (as have others) and I don't see that she has addressed that issue.

But I expect that OP is long gone. Which is an answer in itself.

You are being rather ridiculous.

Just move out ASAP. No need for all the nc drama.

@ScottBakula Yeah re the personal slave. You never know these days! 😂

Oh how noble of you to try to make it work, living in THEIR house🤦🏻‍♀️

So you'll use them until it suits you to move out THEN go NC.

your parents sound horrible, but you sound like an entitled brat.

Grow up, move out.

You need to move out! ASAP!!

You try to arrange to do things with your parents in the evening? Why are you not doing things with your own friends?
When I was your age (I lived at home until I was 24), I popped home after work to get changed/eat before going out with friends/ to my hobbies/see my boyfirend etc. I never did things with my parents.
My DC doesn't have a lot of friends but keep their own company unless out at a hobby or working their 2nd (part time) job. Very occasionally we will invite them to join us if we're going somewhere we know they'd like to go or if we're going out for a pub meal, but never would they be trying to occupying their time by arranging to do things with us.

I’m fascinated by the concept of the OP waiting until she stands on her own two feet and leaves home before going no contact with her parents because, as she said, she doesn’t intend going NC while she still lives with them.

I’ve tried working it out but haven’t got enough fingers….

I may have missed it but has OP actually answered the fundamental questions of rent/keep and other contributions to the home, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.?

I guess they are long gone from their own thread though….maybe something hit home ?

You may be their child, but you are not a child and have not been for years.

'I don't drink so have nowhere to go in the evenings'

• there is so much more to do in an evening than just go to a pub ! but having said that I have spent plenty of time in pubs / wine bars / cocktail bars and i don't drink, my family and friends have never had a problem with me being a non drinker.

'when I do pay my way to have a home to live in '

• probably best now tho if you feel / think like that is to find your own place

'evening times should be relaxing at home after work right?'

• I guess your parents would like to spend time together with each other in the evenings, without an adult child being sat with them every evening
• so I suppose you are welcome to relax in the evening in your bedroom - I guess you do have your own bedroom ?

'I try to do things as a family'

• why ? you are not a 5 year old child that needs to do activities or things with her parents

Do you not have any friends or even work colleagues with whom you can socialise in the evening / at weekends.

If not you need to join ' Meetup ' they have all sorts of activities and you will make friends of all ages that way.

You are an adult, your dp don't actually have to be ok with you living with them under any circumstances. I don't think it's wildly unreasonable to be less than thrilled about you being at home more. It's their home.

You need to move out, for everyone's wellbeing. And try to appreciate that they've been generous accommodating you this long.

I think you have a communication problem. You said you love with our parents and should you go NC with them.

It's not "obviously not the case" as you state in your last post that you don't mean doing this simultaneously.

You said go NC, people took you at your word. Perhaps your parents have the same issue with your lack of clear communication and can't be bothered with it.

Maybe they went to walk around the house naked and have wild sex on the sofas Monday-Friday. It's their house.

You should resolve your problems by checking Rightmove.

In this day and age there are a lot of young adults still living at home

Just keep a low profile

What does your dm think

Finally, Im suprised no one seems to have mentioned it till now.

OP will of course graciously talk to them while they provide a roof over her head until she find better then 'goodbye mummy and daddy forever'.

What a user and abuser.

They are being unreasonable for their reaction but to even consider no contact with them over this is bonkers. If you can’t work it out with them, it may be best to look to move out

I have read many other threads on here about how peoples kids will always have a home with them and how their home is their home, being a parent doesn't end at 18 etc but I suppose that's only if they like them then otherwise they can push off and stop burdening themselves with their presence.
I also get the retirement point but I didn't get a say in how old they were when they chose to have me so I think it's unfair to say I should not get any support as a young adult because they want to enjoy their retirement when other people live at home and don't get treated this way by their family.

what exactly is it you’re wanting from your parents OP? @giantcolouringbook

Oh dear Lord, I'm guessing we are about to discover they didn't get you a bike for Christmas or tiny violin lessons

My 3 had all gone by 20….I was 51 when the last one went…..I was glad for the peace and quiet….of course any one of them can come back if they need a roof over their heads for a while…..but once you are an adult it’s time to spread your wings

If you really do "pay your way" then you can afford to live elsewhere by yourself.
When my daughter altered her work hours so she had more time at home I was distressed because my days of pottering about and catching up with stuff on my day off would be impacted. By DD lazing about doing nothing when I was trying to catch up with housework, admin etc.

OP you are either the least self aware poster ever or you are taking the piss at this point.

Your dad being disgruntled about you upping your loafing around his house time by a third is not comparable to them deciding that parenting stops at 18. I mean fgs you are 5 whole years older than that AND he didn’t even kick you out!

Maybe they find the entitled, whining, self centered aspects of your personality a bit irritating. Its only been a few posts and frankly I want you around less.

I mean this kindly, some people have a great relationship with their parents, some have ok ones, some don't have parents, some have parents that haven't been able to care for them, some have parents that are/were abusive. It's very easy to look and think the grass is greener for everyone else, but that's often not the case.

I think you're being deliberately obtuse at this point. Or just obstinate and contrary.

And, tbh, none of those are particularly attractive in an adult or in a house mate.

'You'll always have a home with us' means that, should you fall on hard times, lose your job, a tenancy, a relationships ends and you find yourself without a roof over your head, there will always be a bed for you here.- temporarily. It means we love and support our children and won't see them suffer because parenting doesn't stop when they reach 18. It doesn't mean that parents hope their children will never leave home!

It doesn't mean never move out, refer to yourself as a child and want to do family activities with your parents in lieu of having your own life.

Your parents were a couple before you came along and they were probably looking forward to having some couple time again once you'd flown the nest.

Instead of doing that, you've increased the amount of time you're going to be pottering around their house.

You don't need their support. You have a full time job and have just arranged with your work to do compressed hours. Life is good. You just don't want to grow up.

I think that some of the posts have been unnecessarily harsh but I still think that it’s probably time to spread your wings, OP.

Unless you live in an expensive part of the UK/earn a low salary and it’s genuinely not feasible yet, in which case it would be advisable to save as much as you can, maybe into a LISA.

This cannot be real at this point. Saying that because some other young adults still live with their parents, somehow your life is unfair because yours want you to move out. Guess what? Life isn't fair.

Why do you even still want to be there? Don't you have any desire to get on with your own life, rather than mouldering away with your parents? Such a waste of your youth.

What a baby. Just go out on your day off and there won't be an issue. It's bizarre that you want to spend all your time at home with your parents. Don't you have friends, or hobbies?