Would you go nc with your parents for this

[giantcolouringbook]

I am 23(f) and work f/t my company have been offering compresses hours which I have happily accepted bearing in mind I get paid the same and do the same hours but an extra day off plus weekends.
I excitedly told my parents this and they are furious saying that I should have discussed it with them first as it affects them too.
They've also said if I'm going to be home an extra day of in the week I need to do something with it and not just hang around the house.
My dad is retired and spends every day hanging around the house doing nothing.
Aibu to think a) this has nothing to do with them and b) I shouldn't be told to go out and do something when I am looking forward to an extra down day at home doing exactly what my dad does?
I am of course looking to move out asap but would you think there was any coming back from this or should I just move on never look back.

Since op is being so dramatic as to consider going NC over this, it think there’s a good chance her description of their reaction as ‘furious’ could also be a bit of dramatics.

I would definitely not go NC, but I would feel differently about them. It's clear they prefer it to be just the two of them, sounds like they are becoming quite routine-like and quite rigid about it, so don't like the change in their day when you're not working. This happens to some older people, although I don't think they can be that old? Did you move out for uni and then move back in again? That can be a difficult transition, on both sides. Having an adult live with you is not the same as a child. A lot of 23 year olds cannot afford to rent, and won't necessarily even be approved without a guarantor, so I think parents do need to understand that. But I'd be looking at moving out if possible.

It's time for you to find your own place, OP, for everyone's sake.

Go nc with people whose house you live in?
If you do, they should kick you out the same day.

Move out first, then go NC for as long you need to. This is your decision. If they make you feel this way, then there is huge drip feed coming ( lol, as I learnt the term on here ) and you know that you are free to do as you wish

Easier said than done these days

Ageist here and hard for young people to do these days.

Nasty to use phrase bitter old cows.and misogynistic

Bit of an overreaction from you @giantcolouringbook But your parents do sound like they don't want you around much. Them fussing over you dropping from 5 days to 4 a week is weird. It's not like you have given up your job and are going to be sat on your arse all day.

You sound horribly spoilt OP and moving out and growing up would benefit you (and your long suffering parents) enormously.

You just need to move out.
Your parents are being ridiculous, but it's not a reason to cut them off.

Going NC for this, and when you still live with them 🤣

OP, It's not that you personally are a bother per se, but your dad probably feels self conscious or judged about you seeing him watch tv and lounge around all day. He might feel embarrassed he's spending his time watching trash and wasting time, while if no other adult was their he could do this happily and peacefully.

Get a job for that day, cleaning, waitress, stack shelves, muck out horses, pick vegetables and use it as paid fitness training, nothing to tax your brain with ( no offence I mean not sitting at a computer) and put the extra income towards your deposit to move out - every one’s a winner!

How are you going to go no contact when you live in their house?

It sounds like they're ready for a bit of privacy and space. It wouldn't bother me but obviously it's an issue for them. I wouldn't even think about going NC over this though.

While your situation wouldn't bother me it is reasonable to discuss things with them that impact the household in general.

No she didn't choose to he born, but that is true of all of us! It will probably help the OP to move out and develop a bit of independence.

And, tbh, if my adult child chose to work compressed hours so they could sit around the house for 3 days a week instead of 2, I'd be worried about them. Maybe her parents are too. Maybe they wonder why this is all she wants for herself. Maybe they haven't articulated it well. Maybe they're a family who don't communicate well. There are many possible explanations.

The OP has described them as furious but if she hasn't grown up in abuse and is just a bit entitled and immature, then I wouldn't necessarily accept her interpretation of her parents reaction as reliable either.

The only people I know who've grown up in abusive homes wanted to get out as soon as possible or at least spend as little time there as possible. Not increase the amount of time they spend there.

It's not that I can't see the point in what you're saying, just that I'm not convinced it applies here.

I understand that it's more difficult nowadays for young adult children to leave home - I have two of my own and have always told them theyd have a home with me for as long as they needed it. I've also seen the impact that living at home for longer has had on some of them and its not always positive.

I can think of several examples where the young adults (20somethings) have thrived and seen their mental health improve dramatically once they lived their lives as independent adults and not teenagers. Some lived at home as independent adults and more like lodgers. They fared a lot better than the ones who just lived as teenagers.

I don't think the OP is going to return so I don't think she has some great tale of abuse to share. But I think it's interesting as part of a wider discussion on MH and just growing up and independence too and the impact on these of adult children having to live at home for longer.

I love my children and they're my favourite people. But, as much as I'd have been happy for them to live at home for as long as they needed, I also want so much more for them. And I would have been frustrated in the OP's parents position if they didn't have a little bit more oomph about them. And then considered going nc the second they didn't get their own way about something.

You do kind of hope your kids will leave home at some point. Have their own place, a relationship, possibly a family, hobbies, friends to have a full and rich life as you did. That's the natural order of things.

It's not unreasonable to wonder when this is going to start if your 23 year olds only aspiration for themselves if to laze around the house for 3 days a week.

Precisely.

I find MN very odd when it comes to adult children living at home, though.

This. Move out you will get along much better.

Definitely you.
how do you go NC for something so trivial ?

Obviously I don't mean go no contact with them in their house so I meant when I move out.
I think the thread has been derailed slightly by people thinking I'm going no contact while still at home when that obviously is not the case.
I don't drink so have nowhere to go in the evenings and shouldn't feel pressured to go and walk the streets when I do pay my way to have a home to live in although I do sometimes go to the gym, evening times should be relaxing at home after work right?
I am home weekends and one day during the week.
That still means I'm at work 4 days.
I try to do things as a family but they always want to do their own thing, even in the evening.
I personally feel like this is a heartless and unnecessary way to treat a child in their home but I'm prepared to accept most people disagree with me and that's fine.
I'll try and find a way to make it work.

They sound hard work. Decent parents would be happy you made a decision with your career to give you more of a work life balance. Getting their panties in a bundle over this is an odd reaction.

Do they always react like this?

OP - you're 23 years old.

Don't you want more from your twenties than spending all your free time with your parents in your childhood home?

Move out, stand on your own two feet and start expanding your horizons. Meet new people, explore new hobbies and start growing a bit as a person. Your parents shouldn't be your social life at your age. It's not healthy for any of you.

You're not a child in their home.
You're 23.

It sounds like they would rather not have a 3rd adult living in the house, especially not hanging about for 3 days a week.
It's not unusual for a retired couple to want to do their own thing and live their own lives. It's a little bit odd that at 23 you do not want to do your own thing and live your own life.