To think this is too early for a house guest to get up?

[morningbbrew]

My husband's sister and her husband are staying over for the weekend. They don't have children we have two young teens but they are both at friends this weekend.

DBIL has just gone to bed and cheerily announced as he did that he would be going out for a run at 6.00am and would bring a key (they have a spare as they house sit sometimes). Plus he casually mentioned something about making a smoothie beforehand so it actually sounds like he's getting up at more like 5.30am.

Neither DH or I are confrontational and so we both just sort of sat there shocked. But I am just not sure what to say. Our house isn't tiny but equally I am pretty sure all his getting ready etc is going to mean we wake up. And weekend lie ins are rare with two kids and associated activities!

I mean I guess he could be joking but he's not really that kind of person. His wife (DH sister) is normally quite sensible and she didn't seem at all embarrassed about it which is making me worry we are the weird ones for being a bit horrified!

As these people are your close relatives and not, for example, guests in your hotel or something I can't understand why on earth you would come on to Mumsnet instead of just looking him straight in the face and saying "that's absolutely fine, so long as you don't wake us up, and that means you won't be able to use the blender in the morning."

Hahaha. This, absolutely this!

I don’t think OP has a time machine, sadly.

Who the hell has a smoothie before a run? 💩

The significance of your child-free morning won't have occurred to them - why would it?

Was he so quiet you're still asleep? Hope so

I'm looking forward to an update because I woke at 5.30 in my parents house, gave up and quietly made a cup of tea an hour later, and now I'd really like to get on with my day, but you know...... consideration for others........

When I stay with my parents I get up at 6.00, deal with the dog and make a cup of tea. I have never woken them and it is a small house. Making a smoothie would be a no no though.

Absolutely

I'm really glad someone else has posted this. You see on here all the time people struggling to have a conversation about something really simple, because they "aren't confrontational". I'm not confrontational either - but asking someone (in my extended family no less!) politely to not wake me up at 5.30 isn't a confrontation!

If he puts whole walnuts to be blitzed, he would wake all of mumsnet!

You’re not obliged to go by the waking and sleeping hours of anyone – that’s bizarre, and you’re being a bad host if you try to enforce that.

If you’re quiet enough to not wake anyone by rising then there is no inconvenience at all. and if the thought of someone rising early while they’re staying for one weekend causes you worry and anxiety then you should not be hosting anyone.

Only if they don’t have any manners IMHO. When you stay in someone’s home, you’re surely going to enjoy their company and relax, not stick to routines and habits you might have at home, especially if it’s only one night. You should have respect for them and their lifestyle. I understand some people have sleep problems or wake up at the crack of dawn. But just take a good book and read until people start to get up, rather than going out the door at 6am. Or at least ask properly if they mind.

Unless you’re on a special diet for serious health reasons, bringing your own food for separate meals is shockingly bad form. First time ex-DP’s family stayed with me (before exDP and I even lived together) I’d planned every meal to cater for FIL’s extremely fussy eating (only ate one type of vegetable). But MIL turned up with 6 bags of shopping, including bacon and sausages for FIL’s breakfast, when they knew I don’t eat meat. There wasn’t even room to fit it in the fridge, as I had stuff already prepped in there.

Surely he’s telling you so you can roll over and go back to sleep rather than investigating any strange sounds in the morning?

So he's family. They house sit. Presumably you get on? I like to think I'm a good host so although I might suggest premaking the smoothie, I'd have no problem with the early start. Can't you just go back off to sleep if you are woken?

It’s the only logical explanation….

You are being very unreasonable to dictate when a person can get up.

However, the smoothie making at 0530 is unreasonable. My DH gets up daily at 0515 and very rarely wakes me up. He goes out of his way to be quiet.

Morning OP!
Did you sleep well ?

Hope you got your lie in?

Yes, I wouldn't want to run with a pint of liquid sloshing round in my stomach, but each to their own I guess

Are you up yet OP? 😁

I hope he didn’t wake you really early! I’m an early bird and am usually awake by 5 (not sure why, when my kids were small I’d have killed for endless lie in’s but sadly not to be). It is very rude if he’s really planning to use the blender at that time of morning and wake up the whole household. Sure go for a run if you can sneak out, but I’d imagine he won’t.

Dear me. I didn't say guests had to get-up and go to bed at the sane time as their hosts,I said guests should fit in with the rhythms of the household.

Eg if you're usually a late riser but the household is up & about by 9am, it's bad form to lie in until 1pm every day.

Or, if you usually get up and use the blender at 5.30am and are staying somewhere where doing so is likely to wake your hosts....amend your routine out of consideration by blending the night before & getting up a little later so that they're not woken while it's still dark.

He needs to make the smoothie the night before and put it in the fridge ready. We have a nutri ninja and it makes a terrific row!

This, definitely.

I wake up at 5.30 in the summer, nothing I can do about that, so I make a coffee and do crosswords or go for a run or read.

But I do it quietly. Using a blender at 5.30 is just plain rude.

I'd have made the smoothie for him - just as he'd got off to sleep.

Morning, sorry, I should have realised there would be people waiting for an update

He didn't use the blender -but only because DH had a word with his sister.

And I get all the points about being able to talk but we wanted to be sure we weren't being unreasonable.

However, BIL got up at 5am not 6@am, faffed about looking for bits and pieces etc, woke the dog up and didn't shut him back downstairs, so we were all properly woken up by the time he left the house.