To think this is too early for a house guest to get up?

[morningbbrew]

My husband's sister and her husband are staying over for the weekend. They don't have children we have two young teens but they are both at friends this weekend.

DBIL has just gone to bed and cheerily announced as he did that he would be going out for a run at 6.00am and would bring a key (they have a spare as they house sit sometimes). Plus he casually mentioned something about making a smoothie beforehand so it actually sounds like he's getting up at more like 5.30am.

Neither DH or I are confrontational and so we both just sort of sat there shocked. But I am just not sure what to say. Our house isn't tiny but equally I am pretty sure all his getting ready etc is going to mean we wake up. And weekend lie ins are rare with two kids and associated activities!

I mean I guess he could be joking but he's not really that kind of person. His wife (DH sister) is normally quite sensible and she didn't seem at all embarrassed about it which is making me worry we are the weird ones for being a bit horrified!

I agree. Jeez. Totally selfish. No manners. What’s the matter with the fella?

Surely the SIL must realise it’s not on when her brother’s knackered.I wonder if them house sitting has made him view your home as a holiday rental, where he can do whatever he fancies. And he’s forgotten you’re actually there and he’s an effing guest.

OP, I totally get why you didn’t say anything last night when he mentioned it in passing on his way to bed - at 9pm! I’d have been shocked too. And I’d be furious this morning. 5am is shockingly early to have someone waking you on a Sunday! I’d be joking about it: ‘Bloody hell, mate, that was a shocker this morning. We’re all knackered’. And I wouldn’t invite the CF again, unless your DH has a word with SIL and says it’s not on.

"Fit in with the rhythm of the household & waking/sleeping hours" still doesn't mean wake up & go to sleep when the hosts do, it means being considerate & respectful of them - as the host should also be to you, which I have made clear in my posts (plural).

It evidently wasnt enough time for the shocked OP and it wouldnt be to many other people.

Because we are not all the same. We are not all able to react on the spot. Some of us are even conditioned to be scared to say anything at all. OP explained several times that the person disappeared before the shocked OP was able to gather her thoughts and say something.

What a wombat!

Problem with hiding it is he will probably open and close every cupboard door, move things round inside looking for it and generate masses of noise. And then go and wake op to ask… 🙄

And you are if you don’t wake them up. So … rising time is irrelevant.

Selfish and uncouth.
A friends husband did it once years ago and they were never invited again.
We also told him how rude he was to wake us at 6am for a run. He turned on the radio in the kitchen.
We were both after a busy week.

They had been attending a concert in our city and she had asked could they stay.
We were furious with the rudeness of it and didn't hide it.
We didn't make a lovely brunch as we had planned and gave them the clear bum's rush as we had plans for the day.
She did ask again, but I said No and didn't offer any reason.
Never again.

Inconsiderate arsehole. I would not have him to stay again.

And she probably wanted to check in case they were the only people left who don’t like to rise at 5:40 for a smoothie and run. There’s nothing wrong with a perception check. There’s another interesting thread about what age people stopped having sex. The answers are basically much younger or much older than many posters assumed. So it is good to check in with with people who are free to answer honestly.

Ugh morning people are the worst. Especially the exercisey ones.

At 8 am on a Sunday I’d say no if she replies!

Oh no. You have a dog

That's worse for wake ups then a blender

He should have taken Dog for walk with him

What a dickhead. I'm not saying there aren't women who do this but I bet it's a way smaller percentage. As far as I can tell men just think the world should bend around them, little consideration or empathy for anyone else.

I know I didn't expect her to reply at 8am!

I was beginning to think I was a total idle beast, what with me not getting up at 5:30 to make a pre-run smoothie!

Nothing wrong in general with being an early riser. However in this case there should have been a proper conversation given especially the impact on the dog.

Quietly going out of the house is very different from waking up a dog and using a blender.

I think he is being unreasonable. He knows hence he announced it and walked out the room.

Tbh I have a couple of female friends who are so particular about their food it totally overshadows any event. One of them is especially Prima Donna-ish. I totally understand that serious allergies are a very real concern and think its good there is more awareness. I also think it’s good there are more vegan options these days. But the downside is that people who have mere intolerances start to behave as though it’s a full blown allergy, and people who just have preferences have seen all this and taken a degree of entitlement from it too.

It’s fine to ask if you can have no a or b on the plate, or even to request a different restaurant in advance if there’s only a few of you. But we once had two other families marching round a national trust property in the vain hope we’d find the right milk when all we had all wanted was to pop in and give hungry Dc a bite. But no: initial frantic inquiries revealed there was 😱 no milk- free milk😱 at that cafe so everyone was hauled up and off to try somewhere else ( which we never found). I did sort of think look this is your issue and I’m sorry you were disappointed and won’t be able to order what you wanted. But could you not just have a juice?

Exactly this, that's what I find Mumsnet so helpful for. As a disabled person daily runs and early morning smoothies are not part of my routine so I genuinely wanted a sense of what the norm is.

Exactly this, I didn't want to bring my upbringing into it and be accused of drip feeding but some people are very much conditioned to not find it safe to speak up.

I think your husband needs to have another word with his sister, that's bang out of order. I hope you're not stuck with them for the rest of the day so you can relax a bit before your kids get home.

I’d be fine with this, I’d simply have said make the smoothie the night before and not to shower first till you’re up.

Wow, who knew, people are different 😂

I don't understand how someone waking up early is such a shocking and awful thing. How is it that you all woke up at the same time? Do you live in a cardboard house? He didn't use the blender so why would you be so affronted that people have different wake up times to you?