Not removing sunglasses - unreasonable?

[coxesorangepippin]

Met up with a friend yesterday, who introduced me to her sister.

We sat outside, it was sunny.

The sister did not remove her sunglasses the entire time (2 hours).

It bothered me. I couldn't see her eyes.

Aibu?

Why is it bad manners?

Why is anything "bad manners"? Because snobs have decided it is.

Mumsnet is by snobs for snobs. Don't expect any rationality or empathy here.

You’re the kind of person who insists autistic people maintain eye contact when talking aren’t you? 🤦🏼‍♀️

Not having bad manners is for snobs? Different people have different opinions about what good manners are, doesn’t necessarily mean any of them are snobs.

This thread is so bonkers (in a bad way) along with a couple of others today, I think it’s just cured my Mumsnet habit!

Not having bad manners is for snobs?

The whole point of "manners" is to exclude and ostracise people who don't come from the right background and don't understand what the rules are. I loathe people who impose arbitrary rules on people and talk & behave disparagingly to them if they don't follow - or even know - them.

It is a rule of etiquette that you make eye contact when in greeting. Don’t shoot me, I didn’t make the rules up, I just know that it is.

And for your information all you pious lot, I do have impaired vision actually. I can still whip my glasses off to speak to someone though.

Excluding, ostracising, talking and behaving disparagingly to people is bad manners. So if anyone does that they don’t have good manners, even if they think they do.

Absolutely. It’s good manners to not speak with your mouth full. Do these people insist on chewing their food whilst having a conversation? Manners are just nice rules to live by. Although obviously in this day and age they don’t all apply. Clearly a persons entitlement to be massively offended and outraged over nothing are far more important.

Etiquette to take them off when being introduced and probably should keep them off if in company but surely telling the others you're putting them back on because of glare etc seems fair enough to me.

So you should only wear sunglasses alone? That’s a new one on me! My eyes still hurt and I get headaches in bright sunshine when I’m with people.

Mine are my normal glasses with photochromic lenses so no of course I wouldn't take them off

I’ve worn my sunglasses inside and out for last two weeks due to eye surgery,. No wonder I was getting funny looks by some other need to see your eyeballl types! 😀

But as may PP have said here, they would not be able to see clearly if they took their sunglasses off. My photophobic friend would have to clamp her eyes shut if she took her glasses off, and that would also apply indoors.. So what would be the point? Actually, she would not even be out in the sun to start with. Her photophobia is severe to the point she has a Blue Badge for it.

Standing up to greet someone is considered polite too. I am sure wheelchair users can manage to stand for a second so they don't look rude.

This is my first pair but they change very quickly

'It's polite to be able to see each other clearly'.

But the whole point is that, if the wearer of the sunglasses takes them off, it may make him/her unable to see the other person clearly.

I often wear prescription sunglasses and forget to take my normal ones with me so can be seen inside at times in the shops etc with my sunnies

Fact: most people who leave their sunnies on in polite company are just lacking in basic people skills, not blind/albino/light-sensitive/autistic/wearing prescription lenses etc. That's why we don't see many people wearing them on cloudy days, at night, or indoors.

The reason why we don't see many people wearing them on cloudy days, at night, or indoors is that they don't usually need them in the absence of bright sunlight!

You'd hate me, mine are prescription and I keep them on even if the sun goes in or if I nip into a shop 🤣

Oh, this thread has raged on, hasn't it!

I'll be honest, I don't have any prescription/sensitivity/squint issues; I just bloody love sunglasses! I spend a fortune on them so I'm not going to doff my monogrammed Oliver Goldsmiths just because some random has arbitrarily decreed it's rude. If it's the least bit sunny, I'm going to get my money's worth.

Same, only I have about 30 cheapo pairs and I love them all.

I'm not going to claim 'special neeeeds' as someone I can't be arsed tagging claimed earlier.

I just like and prefer to wear them so I will; your preference doesn't override mine.

As I said, I am visually impaired and have strong prescription sunglasses so I do sympathise. If I have to take mine off in bright sunlight I am slightly blinded by the light and also can’t see very clearly. I still understand the etiquette though. And yes I’d put them back on or I’d be having a conversation whilst half blind and squinting through watery eyes.

Maybe they are prescription sunglasses so she can't see without them.

Why did you expect her to remove them?

Yes, you are.
Here's some reasons.

A. You were sitting outside and it was sunny.
B. She might have issues where bright light can reduce her vision and cause headaches. Sunglasses, in that situation are as valid as normal glasses. My school refused to let me wear sunglasses for this one particular lesson where the sun was always right in my eyes and made it so I couldn't see the board, AND would end up with a splitting headache. But pupils needing vision correcting glasses were allowed to wear those, even though the outcome of not wearing them was the same visually, and worse it terms of pain.
C: they might be prescription glasses with reactor lenses.
D: She might be someone that feels more comfortable having something as a physical barrier when meeting new people. There was a time in my life I used to sometimes wear clear fake glasses to work on days I had worse anxiety, as it gave me a sense of distance, and made me less anxious.

She did nothing wrong.

Or, alternatively, someone having a problem with the presence of sunglasses reveals to the wearer that this is somebody who focuses too much on superficial trivialities and lacks empathy (ie the ability to put themselves in others' shoes and imagine there are reasons for their actions), and thus is probably not worth spending too much time on or with.

But just how bad is your impaired vision? I've often heard -6 be described as a strong prescription - as someone who is -13, it really isn't! I can not see without my glasses - but with them my vision is completely corrected - I can drive etc. But I am also very careful to not cause any further damage to my eyes by not wearing sunglasses when appropriate, I don't don't want worse vision still.

I spent my school days being mocked for my glasses, not being allowed to wear them for PE etc., shame that they never worked out that not seeing the ball was why I couldn't catch it - by the time I saw it I was flinching away before it hit me.

I couldn't go swimming on my own until I was an adult and bought prescription goggles - I couldn't see a footbath you had to walk through, signs about depth etc.

Upon the first sight test I would have had to pay for, the optician told me not to worry, I would never have to pay for a sight test as 'your eyes are so bad that in the old terms you'd be considered a danger to the public without glasses.' And now apparently I'm rude and don't understand etiquette because I don't remove them in public.

Without them I am effectively disabled, with them you wouldn't have a clue (I always pay a fortune to get them super thinned - without this I wouldn't be able to blink because my eyelashes would be right up against the lenses).

Thanks for making me feel really rubbish!