Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think pregnancy ruined your body?

268 replies

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:26

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

OP posts:
lucya66 · 31/08/2024 06:29

My body feels the same. A few small stretch marks. I don’t feel ruined and all of my mum friends look great.

booisbooming · 31/08/2024 06:29

The main thing is it made me stop caring.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:31

booisbooming · 31/08/2024 06:29

The main thing is it made me stop caring.

I assume you mean stop caring what other think?

yes motherhood made me more confident to stand my ground.

OP posts:
3ormoredogs · 31/08/2024 06:31

I was smug when I had one too. Bounced back a few weeks later like nothing had happened. Continued hobbies, work, going out. I put this down to luck and genetics as my mother and grandmother had easy pregnancies and births too.

Despite that, I’ve now got 3 and I’m not so smug. I look and feel like I’m living in a tornado most days. I’m basically just surviving until they get to school! I think one is a completely different thing to having more than one…

ChickenBoona · 31/08/2024 06:33

I’m lucky to have returned to pre-pregnancy condition both times and I have no stretch marks.

rubeelum · 31/08/2024 06:34

Unbearably smug stealth boast. Wait until you have another one. 👏

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:34

lucya66 · 31/08/2024 06:29

My body feels the same. A few small stretch marks. I don’t feel ruined and all of my mum friends look great.

It felt at the time stretch marks were inevitable but you couldn’t tell I have been pregnant as I do not have stretch marks on my stomach.

And I am not super model I just really improved my health during pregnancy to give my baby the best I could.

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:36

rubeelum · 31/08/2024 06:34

Unbearably smug stealth boast. Wait until you have another one. 👏

My child rearing days are behind me. I am old now.

It was not a stealth boast. The horror stories that I was told when pregnant really did not help me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:37

3ormoredogs · 31/08/2024 06:31

I was smug when I had one too. Bounced back a few weeks later like nothing had happened. Continued hobbies, work, going out. I put this down to luck and genetics as my mother and grandmother had easy pregnancies and births too.

Despite that, I’ve now got 3 and I’m not so smug. I look and feel like I’m living in a tornado most days. I’m basically just surviving until they get to school! I think one is a completely different thing to having more than one…

I stopped at one maybe that was the secret 😂

OP posts:
elQuintoConyo · 31/08/2024 06:40

No stretch marks here either. But having a child totally fucked up my pelvic floor, gave me permanent painful vagina (despite several interventions over the last 15 years) so even getting in and out of a car is wince-inducing. Also gave me saggy tits, despite not breastfeeding.

So....there you have it. I was active in pregnancy (also swimming ) and very few horrible symptoms. The birth totally changed my life for the worst, hence we have one DC.

olivehater · 31/08/2024 06:43

3 ( inc two sections) Ruined my belly. But I never had a flat belly in the first place so it wasn’t two much of a loss.
I think if you are an apple shape you don’t have much to lose. Still got good boobs and they aren’t much affected even though I breast fed. Still got good legs.
If you are more of a pear or have a flat stomach you have more to lose. But maybe you can get it back easier?

ChefsKisser · 31/08/2024 06:44

DC1 I bounced right back, in fact I got married after and was the slimmest I’d been since college. Baby 2 coincided with lockdown and severe PND so struggled with comfort eating. I’m now a size 12 and healthy BMI but I won’t ever look like I did before kids. Boobs are also a bit sad nowadays. I look fine in clothes though just on the beach I feel more conscious!

bergamotorange · 31/08/2024 06:45

Everyone is different.

Some people experience no discernible changes, some people find they have life-altering changes. Huge spectrum between those two extremes.

'Positivity' is often judgement and smugness rebranded.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:45

elQuintoConyo · 31/08/2024 06:40

No stretch marks here either. But having a child totally fucked up my pelvic floor, gave me permanent painful vagina (despite several interventions over the last 15 years) so even getting in and out of a car is wince-inducing. Also gave me saggy tits, despite not breastfeeding.

So....there you have it. I was active in pregnancy (also swimming ) and very few horrible symptoms. The birth totally changed my life for the worst, hence we have one DC.

Sorry to hear that- it’s sounds very painful. The birth part is certainly the biggest risk again I got lucky with an amazing OBGYN looking after me.

i was not trying to be insensitive I did say I know it not everyone’s experience but at the time when pregnant some positive stories would have been nice.

OP posts:
PortiasBiscuit · 31/08/2024 06:46

Out bodies are designed to be used, not just looked at.
On a very basic level pregnancy is what your body is for. How can something be destroyed by doing what it is designed for.?

Firenzeflower · 31/08/2024 06:47

Yep. Gave birth on the Monday and by Wednesday lunchtime I had literal crowds surrounding me applauding my toned, sculpted body.

Sorry to all you saddos who weren’t like me. But if it makes you feel any better I looked rough all day Tuesday.

WonderingWanda · 31/08/2024 06:49

So smug. I also swam through my 1st pregnancy and did yoga but unfortunately my large baby did lead to stretch marks. My pelvic floor is damaged significantly by his traumatic back to back birth and will undoubtedly need further surgery at some point irrespective of how many keegals or how much exercise I do. Breastfeeding has ruined my breasts, they are droopy now.

You are of course lucky to have escaped unscathed but please stop smugly imagining it's because of your positive mental attitude or how you continued swimming or anything else. This absolute luck is more likely due to genetics both your own which will impact your own skins ability to stretch, the shape of your pelvis and also that of your baby which will impact the babies size and therefore ease of birth.

I think there is nothing more damaging to the mental health of new mothers than other mothers who are convinced they got it all right and by default the mother who is struggling (to come to terms with her weight gain, difficult birth, inability to be, baby who won't sleep, feed a fussy child etc) then feels she has done something wrong.

whatsuplittle · 31/08/2024 06:50

What's the point of this post, if it's to ask if you're being unreasonable then yes. Well done we've all seen people like you, however the vast majority of parents at baby classes aren't back in their prepregnancy jeans, I've noticed the ones whose bodies suffer the most are those who are exclusively breastfeeding, because most people don't lose weight doing this, they hang onto every ounce of fat no matter how strict they diet and exercise, and they mourn their old body knowing it's not coming back because their baby getting the best nutrition is more important.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:51

bergamotorange · 31/08/2024 06:45

Everyone is different.

Some people experience no discernible changes, some people find they have life-altering changes. Huge spectrum between those two extremes.

'Positivity' is often judgement and smugness rebranded.

I have not judged anyone I said I was aware it is not everyone’s experience.

And a good friend had a terrible second birth, post c section infection. I did not judge her I offered all the practical help I could…I cooked meals for the family and looked after her kids for a few hours a few times a week, after her husband returned to work, so she could get some rest in the day.

But I am also aware you do not hear many positives about it and during my pregnancy that balance would have been helpful.

OP posts:
Howdiditgetsobad · 31/08/2024 06:57

First baby at almost 38 - bounced back body-wise no issues and actually my periods improved dramatically too, so a huge bonus. Second baby at 41, emergency c-section and haven’t managed to shift the last 10lb or so of extra weight and I feel like I’ve aged dramatically although age might have meant that would have happened anyway! Breastfed them both until over 2 years old and only just really got my boobs back to normal now. Lucky to have no stretch marks etc or any issues from my births so I will take that.

RedRobyn2021 · 31/08/2024 06:57

My body is pretty much the same except my tummy has some stretch marks and my tummy looks slightly different.

Pregnant with my second now.

Meadowfinch · 31/08/2024 06:58

According to my dsis, who has three, most people can cope fine with the first pregnancy, it is the second one that has a much greater impact.

I only have one DC, was back in my jeans on day 10, no stretch marks etc. I bf for 18 months and my boobs were back to normal by about 2.5 years.

I'm 61 now, still a size 10. Still running and feel good.

whatsuplittle · 31/08/2024 06:58

@Poppins21 how would it have been helpful to hear a smug person saying pregnancy didn't change their body and they feel the better for it? What would that have achieved when you would have had no idea how it would have affected you or if the birth would have caused you chronic health issues?

You're not a savior doing any good, you're just a smug person, remember Samantha I'm so beautiful Brick, this is you

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:58

WonderingWanda · 31/08/2024 06:49

So smug. I also swam through my 1st pregnancy and did yoga but unfortunately my large baby did lead to stretch marks. My pelvic floor is damaged significantly by his traumatic back to back birth and will undoubtedly need further surgery at some point irrespective of how many keegals or how much exercise I do. Breastfeeding has ruined my breasts, they are droopy now.

You are of course lucky to have escaped unscathed but please stop smugly imagining it's because of your positive mental attitude or how you continued swimming or anything else. This absolute luck is more likely due to genetics both your own which will impact your own skins ability to stretch, the shape of your pelvis and also that of your baby which will impact the babies size and therefore ease of birth.

I think there is nothing more damaging to the mental health of new mothers than other mothers who are convinced they got it all right and by default the mother who is struggling (to come to terms with her weight gain, difficult birth, inability to be, baby who won't sleep, feed a fussy child etc) then feels she has done something wrong.

I did not say I got it all right, I swam because it felt good on my belly and I realised how crappy my eating habits had been before it’s why I cleaned up my diet during it. That was not something I was able to do before.

And I did not go around saying to other new mums - shouldn’t you be back in your jeans yet!

I just said not all pregnancies and births have to be awful and my body changed it was not ruined.

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 31/08/2024 06:58

I think the secret there is one child. Most people seem to bounce back better after the first. With my second my insides literally fell out of me a few days post partum when I was lifting the baby in a car seat collecting my eldest from nursery. I found it much harder to exercise with two small children- with the first I was doing buggy fit classes etc during mat leave- didn’t happen with no.2.

Swipe left for the next trending thread