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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think pregnancy ruined your body?

268 replies

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 06:26

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 07:45

Izzymoon · 31/08/2024 07:44

Wait, so your baby is 10 and a decade on you’re still obsessing about this?

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby.

Not obsessing no, I was reading a few things online and it just got me thinking this morning,

OP posts:
SecondFavouriteDinosaur · 31/08/2024 07:45

Maybe I was lucky but no one told me I’d look awful after pregnancy, or that it would ruin my body. Or maybe they did and I just didn’t pay any attention, I don’t know. It wasn’t an issue I experienced anyway.

Izzymoon · 31/08/2024 07:45

JamMonster · 31/08/2024 07:43

I do agree that we need to talk about it all more positively - I was terrified about terrible morning sickness (which never came!)

Edited

I had severe morning sickness, was hospitalised, passed out in public several times and couldn’t start gaining any weight until over 25 weeks … but I need to speak more positively about that?

KeepinOn · 31/08/2024 07:47

I think with the number and variety of quite debilitating and permanent birth injuries that many women face, the way our bellies look is the least of our concerns when it comes to 'bouncing back' after pregnancy.

EmilyLuc · 31/08/2024 07:47

I must admit that I’m the same. My body is the same as it was before apart from my scar, no stretch marks or anything and the weight just dropped off. I similarly was convinced my body would be destroyed. Having said that, I did suffer from horrendous nerve damage pain.

However, i do plan on having a second in a few years, and I don’t think it will be the same then - from what I’ve heard the trick is to only have one!

Tangled123 · 31/08/2024 07:49

My mum said she got her pre pregnancy body back after me, but didn’t after my brother. She still has a good figure though.
I only have one child and it’s made my belly worse and my pelvic floor is now very weak. I had bad gums too, but I think pregnancy made them worse too (although I imagine not being able to go to the dentist while pregnant because of Covid was a contributing factor). Using the toilet was also painful for about a year after the birth.

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 07:49

KeepinOn · 31/08/2024 07:47

I think with the number and variety of quite debilitating and permanent birth injuries that many women face, the way our bellies look is the least of our concerns when it comes to 'bouncing back' after pregnancy.

But are the awful after effects to do with poor maternity care provided?

OP posts:
Nsky62 · 31/08/2024 07:49

I personally coped well at 26, and 29,:no stretch marks, tears, during birth, and lost every pound by 6 weeks, I’m sure youth helps, thought I had to gain 28lbs!
Madness, tho I craved an excess of veg with my first, less coffee and chocolate with my second..
At 62, about 8 lbs more than at 25, it can’t be all luck , genetics I think

ringmybe11 · 31/08/2024 07:49

I didn't put much weight on pregnant and probably lost body fat by eating well and being more active than normal however my body changed after I gave birth. I did no exercise for 6 weeks as I found the c section recovery quite tough and I piled weight on just from not moving and eating a little more - a snack in the night for example, not extreme. I'm carrying more weight on my thighs now which is harder to shift and my hips are wider so some of my pre pregnancy clothes don't look nice anymore. I wouldn't say my body is ruined but it has changed for the worse and I'm not sure I could have done anything differently.

PreggersWithBaby2 · 31/08/2024 07:50

spaceintime21 · 31/08/2024 07:32

Urrrm no unfortunately. I don't look the same and this post makes me feel rubbish :-(

Another one where it has made me feel a bit rubbish. I didn't bounce back after my 1st (was once told anyone who doesn't get back into shape after their 1st only have themselves and their laziness to blame - lovely!) and am currently pregnant again so now I'm worried reading how many people have said baby 2 was harder to get back from! 🙈

FWIW I felt amazing during my first pregnancy, adored my bump and had everyone telling me how well pregnancy "suited me". My body after pregnancy was a different ball game.........

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 07:50

Nsky62 · 31/08/2024 07:49

I personally coped well at 26, and 29,:no stretch marks, tears, during birth, and lost every pound by 6 weeks, I’m sure youth helps, thought I had to gain 28lbs!
Madness, tho I craved an excess of veg with my first, less coffee and chocolate with my second..
At 62, about 8 lbs more than at 25, it can’t be all luck , genetics I think

I was steak and broccoli - I would cook it for breakfast

OP posts:
Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 07:53

PreggersWithBaby2 · 31/08/2024 07:50

Another one where it has made me feel a bit rubbish. I didn't bounce back after my 1st (was once told anyone who doesn't get back into shape after their 1st only have themselves and their laziness to blame - lovely!) and am currently pregnant again so now I'm worried reading how many people have said baby 2 was harder to get back from! 🙈

FWIW I felt amazing during my first pregnancy, adored my bump and had everyone telling me how well pregnancy "suited me". My body after pregnancy was a different ball game.........

Show quote history

Again did not want to make you feel rubbish and I would never say horrible things like that to a new mum.

it is hard being a new mum - that’s a fact!

Congras on your second one. When are you due?

OP posts:
Flipsock · 31/08/2024 07:54

rubeelum · 31/08/2024 06:34

Unbearably smug stealth boast. Wait until you have another one. 👏

I have two and I had similar experiences to the OP each time. I was fit and stayed very fit and active, recovered really well, no stretch marks. Body unchanged. Oddly, both babies were an almost identical weight and my bumps were identical. I had very chill little babies though after and it was just all very pleasant.

I did not however feel sexy when pregnant, had loads of complications and bleeding and that was not fun.

SecondFavouriteDinosaur · 31/08/2024 07:58

To those who are feeling rubbish after reading this post… it’s totally normal not to bounce back after pregnancy, your body goes through huge changes. And that’s ok. It’s not a failing on your part 💐

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 07:59

Arrivapercy · 31/08/2024 07:33

Wait until the baby is 5 and you don't have time to exercise, then come back & post

My daughter is 10 and the changes in exercise and diet I made whilst pregnant became part of my life.

I wanted to make sure I had lots of energy for a toddler as I was aware I was an old mum.

OP posts:
Strugglebus86 · 31/08/2024 08:00

Externally my body looks similar to before pregnancy, I bounced back according to any one that looked at me...
Internally I have birth injuries and things I'll deal with for life. Luckily all manageable currently, some after an op, but be careful how you judge others.

Pregnancy hates me though so I look like shit during that 😂

Whatever3787 · 31/08/2024 08:01

I’ve got four and I’m still a size 10 and my boobs are still good so no it didn’t ruin my body!

DrinkElephants · 31/08/2024 08:01

As someone who’s not feeling great about their post partum body, baby is 7 months, this post has made me feel crap about myself.

Iceache · 31/08/2024 08:01

I sailed through my first pregnancy and bounced back afterwards; my second nearly destroyed me 🤣 Took me until my younger child was 5 to get back to ‘normal’ and even now, 8 years later, my hips are still not what they were. You’d never know I’d had children though really - no stretch marks and I’m the same weight I was before I had them. I think that’s a combination of being active but also genetic luck!

Original poster
Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:02

Pinkturtles · 31/08/2024 07:10

I’m confused by your thread title as clearly you don’t think pregnancy ruined your body?

I don’t have stretch marks but I used to run 40+ miles per week before getting pregnant then had to stop completely due to bleeding then PGP so my body now is very different. As pp said the main difference is I don’t care so much now as I would have done pre-pregnancy!

I do not think it ruined me. But I was in several threads today and several people used the phrase “ruined my body”

I was just wondering if this was the majority feeling.

I was not being smug nor making a moral judgement. I just would have liked positive stories when pregnant.

OP posts:
EveryDayisFriday · 31/08/2024 08:03

No, I've always been a size 16-18 and had stretchmarks in my teens. I had my kids at 27 and 31 so didn't affect my body at all really. I didn't put a lot of weight on during pregnancy due to not drinking anymore.

babyproblems · 31/08/2024 08:03

I think many of you here are lucky - I’ve had one and feel like it’s destroyed my body! I won’t have another one I don’t think. I was 35 at time of the first. No stretch marks but I put on an insane amount of weight. Went from 56kgs to 88. And D cup to H cup. Never again! Literally found the weight part traumatic.

5128gap · 31/08/2024 08:04

It's down to body shape (pears/hour glasses do 'better' because the natural waist can take a bit of thickening and still be there) skin elasticity, so if you're young and/or have thicker oiler skin youll get fewer stretch marks ; how little weight you gain and crucially, if you lose it, and how strong your core is. I also think its seen through a subjective lens influenced by your preferences. If you want a larger bust and that's what you're left with, you'll be happy. If you don't like that you'll see it as part of the 'ruin'. Not everyone hates stretch marks. Some people are pleased to have wider hips etc. Also your expectations. If you expect your body to be ruined you're likely to be happier than people who expect to be exactly the same. This obviously applies only to the superficial things. Some women's bodies are very much harmed medically by pregnancy and childbirth.

SecondFavouriteDinosaur · 31/08/2024 08:04

Poppins21 · 31/08/2024 08:02

I do not think it ruined me. But I was in several threads today and several people used the phrase “ruined my body”

I was just wondering if this was the majority feeling.

I was not being smug nor making a moral judgement. I just would have liked positive stories when pregnant.

Show quote history

But not everyone does experience it positively. A lot of people’s bodies change hugely. My feet went up a size, for example. It doesn’t mean that they’re any worse at being pregnant than you.

babyproblems · 31/08/2024 08:04

so far now I’m back to 60kgs after 2 years so have ‘recovered’ to some degree but am considering surgery for a breast reduction!