To think pregnancy ruined your body?

[Poppins21]

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

From what I’ve seen in my friends and experienced myself, the effect is cumulative and down to age. I had my first at 31 and second when I was nearly 35. First it did not impact me in any way, I ‘glowed’, I swam and exercised throughout, baby weight naturally dropped off after a few months. Second, my body felt drained- I needed two fillings, my skin and hair weren’t great, I was exhausted, ached and struggled to walk, never mind exercise. I felt like I had aged afterwards too and I’ve never quite got it back. It was a factor in deciding to stop at two for sure.

I thought the same - after a tricky start, I was well enough to run until I was about 30 weeks, was sick twice the whole way through, didn’t put on too much weight, felt great the whole way through. 36 when my beautiful little boy was born.
Tough birth but recovered quickly, running again after 8 weeks and looked great. Then a year after birth…literally all my hair fell out (alopecia universalis) and I developed arthritis in my feet. So now I’m completely bald and feel like I’ve aged 20yrs overnight. Definitely wrecked my body, just took its time!

Urrrm no unfortunately. I don't look the same and this post makes me feel rubbish :-(

I did not say I was amazing or say it was the swimming. I only mentioned swimming as I swam a lot when pregnant as it felt good- it was not a moral judgement.

i had never exercised really before pregnancy, the occasional class at the gym and some yoga.

it just would have been nice to hear good stories when pregnant not just the bad.

Wait until the baby is 5 and you don't have time to exercise, then come back & post

Did not want to make you feel rubbish. It was not my intention.

I had four children, the last when I was 41, and don't have a single stretch mark. I don't think I'm in worse or better shape than childless friends, friends with one child or my DH come to that! All kinds of life events can and do change our bodies- losing/ gaining weight, ill health and general wear and tear.

I am old so just 1 for me as baby days are over.

Similar. My body looks mostly how it did prebaby. Slightly softer tummy, a few stretch marks on thigh. Breasts are a bit lower, but have gone from C to G Cup.

But I had a forceps delivery and my pelvic floor is destroyed. Two types of prolapse- I can feel my bladder move when I jog, sneeze, shout, cough. In discomfort from walking 65% of the time. Fully continent for now (let's see what menopause does) but feel profoundly unsexy (have not had sex in almost 2 years) and may well need surgery to shove everything back up.

I find the focus on the aesthetic changes to a woman's body completely infantilising, tbh. Who gives a shit.

You’ve been lucky. I have life altering changes because during the emergency c section the surgeon cut my nerves and caused permanent numbness. Then breastfeeding deformed my breasts and made DC’s favourite one bigger.

Oh and i gained weight in pregnancy, my baby wasn't growing enough so I ate a lot in desperation to try and make her gain weight.

I don't regret it, she made it through a tough pregnancy. My stretch marks are a life lived. I don't define myself by how my body looks or if i fit the same jeans, I've changed and that's okay.

I was the same after baby number 1. And 2. Then with my 3rd I suffered severe birth injuries that I’ll never properly recover from.

I’m pleased for you OP. Some definitely seem to sail through pregnancy in a way I didn’t. I feel that visually I recovered within a couple of months but having a child makes it much harder to do all the fitness/sleep stuff I need to do to feel like me. Maybe by the time DD is in primary school 😂.

Many of the stories seem to be about poor quality births rather than pregnancy which has got to do with the shambles maternity services are. They are underfunded and midwives are quitting and we do not have experienced staff?

I

I had a massive 10lb+ baby. Ate what I wanted, did no exercise ( it was lockdown) during pregnancy.

Amazingly I only put on 2 stone, lost it without trying and no stretch marks. I've no idea how or why - sheer luck I think.

I do have a c section pouch though that makes a slapping noise when I dance with my child but it just makes me laugh!

No - wait until the baby is 5 years old.

I looked great a year in. It was juggling work and school aged children that has really done for me in terms of appearance.

Unfortunately yes, I was let down a lot by healthcare professionals which made my recovery harder.

I had pgp/SPD during my last 3 months before birth and it didn't clear up after birth and no midwife would listen to me and said "well, you should be able to walk"

My blisters were missed and noone came to see me for a day after I pointed it out, I had an infection after birth they couldn't work out and I think it was the reaction causing it, they told me I had sepsis and didn't realise until day 3 post birth and they bit of an "oh shit, yeah that could be it, oops"

I was also due to have physio to help with my limited movement but COVID cancelled it.

My NHS trust is currently under investigation for it's negligence for maternity care tbf.

Maybe I was just unlucky, I don't know but the whole pregnancy and birth process has definitely left with me physical and mental markers that I still struggle with over 3 years later.

I agree with this, taking care of myself was way harder when my daughter was born than before.

I did this dodgy 80s exercise routine - Callanetics afterwards on the recommendation of a friend. 10 years later still using it.

I have 2 and my body looks the same as pre pregnancy (no stretch marks and flatish stomach). I think a lot of it is luck/genetics. Not having a c-section helped I'm sure. Plus I go to the gym regularly (before and after).

I looked awful during both pregnancies though (and wasn't healthy at all!)

So sorry for your experiences, it makes my blood boil how we let mums and babies down.

Ditto! I make a specific point now to say positive things to pregnant people. I felt so awful and upset every time someone told me their birthing horror story or how fat they got or their hair fell out. It was quite spiteful! I don't want to make someone feel that way.

I do agree that we need to talk about it all more positively - I was terrified about terrible morning sickness (which never came!)

Wait, so your baby is 10 and a decade on you’re still obsessing about this?

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby.

This was my point.

I'm 39, had my first (and only) baby six months ago. I was very healthy during pregnancy and did lots of walking, didn't put on a lot of extra weight.

The birth went well, no tearing or anything problematic (thank goodness).

Other than no stretch marks, my body has completely changed. One massive boob, one little one, both saggy. A huge gut that makes me still look pregnant, that I can't shift. My hips are wider. I have a hip and shoulder injury from carrying the baby making exercise harder to do.

To be honest I'm gutted. My whole wardrobe size 8 clothes, but now I'm in size 14 and struggling to loose a single lb.