To think pregnancy ruined your body?

[Poppins21]

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

I’m confused by your thread title as clearly you don’t think pregnancy ruined your body?

I don’t have stretch marks but I used to run 40+ miles per week before getting pregnant then had to stop completely due to bleeding then PGP so my body now is very different. As pp said the main difference is I don’t care so much now as I would have done pre-pregnancy!

I agree with OP up to a point. Before giving birth, all I heard was horror stories and I admit I was scared. A few more positive stories might be a good thing.

On stretch marks, I know someone who asked her gp before she conceived, how to avoid stretch marks, and he told her to walk at least 5 miles every day. So she walked to &from work from that point until she was 7 months gone. Had her DS, no stretch marks. Years later I worked for a search &rescue team. All of us were used to walking up to 20 miles in a day if needed. We worked at least one search a week and one long training session. None of the ladies in the team ended up with stretch marks including me. I've always wondered if that was just anecdotal or if the GP was right.

Trouble is, not everyone can arrange their day to spend 1.5 hours walking.

All this bollocks about "bouncing back" and "ruined bodies" is another harmful symptom of a society that only values stereotypically attractive young women. You're celebrating that your body is still as attractive as it was before because you've bought into the idea that women that bear signs of pregnancy and childbirth - loose skin, weight gain, stretch marks etc are less attractive than those who don't have those.

You can’t control the experiences of other people.

Perhaps you’re also too fixated on looks and the visual impact of pregnancy if that is what you deemed to be a positive outcome of pregnancy.

Remembering when you fitted back into your old jeans isn’t a success, nor is it a failure not to.

I’ll admit I’m jealous of you all, I have internal varicose veins, am always dry , bad back, dodgy tummy … the list goes on. But look I’ve 4 fab boys so happy with that!!!

Hope things have got better for you.

And yes I wish everyone a lovely pregnancy and perfect birth, I would never wish anything bad on a mum and baby(ies).

I think my point was, I would have liked to hear good stories when pregnant not just bad. Someone said people like me ruin mental health of new mums but I found the bad stories very difficult when pregnant especially from new mums.

Also everyone is obsessed with fitting into their old jeans after pregnancy but for me it’s my old bras - my boobs are actually smaller since I stopped breastfeeding but my back size is bigger - I’ve gone from a 32D bra to a 36B?

I’m glad you “bounced back” but the reality is so many women don’t.

I was devastated for months. I would cry so much every time I would shower and see my body. I breastfed, it doesn’t help lose weight! It made me gain more.

I was a fit, slim, slender woman before babies, loved my body shape and regularly wore dresses and clothes that showed it.

I had multiple miscarriages, these too altered my body.

I then got pregnant with current pregnancy and I’ve lost so much weight - here’s me being hopeful I’ll get my old body back but honestly I cried and cried so much

i got stretch marks all over my tummy - the only one in my family to do so, too. My belly button is so big when it used to be so small.
I lost my waist, my ribs expanded… it wasn’t pretty for me.

I sound so shallow reading this back, but honestly it affected me a lot more than I expected it to. I love what my body can do - grow a beautiful human, and for that I’m so grateful but I went through a traumatic birthing experience too - it all adds up.

anyway! Let’s see what happens this time 🤣 I imagine the crying will come back. I will have to find a way to lose the weight faster this time as I have weddings within 6 months after and I don’t plan to buy new outfits to fit an enlarged body

Congratulations on what though?

Congratualtions you were fortunate that pregnancy hasn’t irreparably damaged your body? Congratulations for not looking different?

And the comments on other threads today just got me thinking about it again. It would have been nice to get a congratulations and something positive said at the time.

Congratulations for what?

Point taken but I had struggled with weight previously so being fit and health was an important goal for me.

i had also been told 38 was old I would not have the energy to chase after a toddler so getting fit was important to me.

I thought I’d be ok too given my mom is in incredible shape after 4 kids, but no.. it did not help me 🤣

Congratulations on your pregnancy when I told someone I was pregnant.

which is what I say if anyone tells me they are pregnant.

When someone needs congratulations and attention after a baby, it usually means the baby isn't enough for them. This hyperfocus on how good you look is also evidence of this, the fact you've now come in an anonymous forum because you aren't getting enough attention in the real world of your looks... 🚩

Having stopped my second stint of breastfeeding I’m really feeling this right now!
I can’t remember if they ever went back to having more volume the first time, there wasn’t a huge amount of time really between ending BF and getting pregnant again so it’s hard to say but this time they are so deflated!

My appearance hasnt been too damaged by pregnancy either- only been left with 3 visible signs really. EMCS scar which is still quick thick and bumpy, boobs are a bit ravaged, bloody titting neverending hemorrhoids 🤣 Obvs the piles are a bit annoying but I don't care about the other 2. Still in pre-baby jeans even though I went from 50kg to 68kg, and no stretch marks.

I think it's luck of the draw! I am fit and active but have friends the same who have more obvious lasting signs of pregnancy, and other friends who did less/no exercise who look exactly as they did pre-baby. They're all gorgeous though and I think pregnancy stretch marks look amazing.

*edited as forgot to factor in teeth! They have definitely had their little calcium stores depleted 😈 so maybe 4 visible signs

No one ever congratulated you on your pregnancy, but talked about ruining your body?

… I’d be looking to move OP. And find some new friends.

I've voted YABU due to the fact I think you've been lucky more than anything.

I had sickness so bad I lost a lot of weight during pregnancy but also lost 2 teeth.

I also had a c section and was pushed by midwives so much I ended up back in hospital a week after birth with a torn muscle, this set me back 2 months in my recovery before I was able to walk unaided. It took 1.5 years before I was able to walk for than 30 minutes without agony in my pelvis. This made exercise very difficult so I piled a lot of weight back on.

I also had a big allergic reaction to the tape from my section which gave me blisters all down from my belly to vagina and I have blister scars along my stretch marks. I also became allergic to sanitary towels.

C section scar is a mess and numb and uncomfortable.

I've also only had 1 child as my body couldn't go through all this again.

No when I said I was pregnant many people just launched into an awful birth story. I would have liked people say congratulations when I said I was pregnant.

i did not mean congratulations you look amazing after having a baby 😂

pregnancy was fine for me, it was the birth. 4 degree tears and 1.5l blood loss. Very lucky to not end up with a bag to wee in! Kind of puts into perspective whether your pp jeans fit!!

with my 3rd I was very lucky to be able to workout until my final week. I was even more lucky that my abs did not stay separated for long and I was able to return to working out. I’ve had friends who required surgery.

For me pregnancy and hormones does change your body. This can be incredibly hard for a lot of women .

I had my first baby 7 months ago via EMCS, I'm in my early 30s. My body is definitely different but not THAT different as everyone would have me believe. It definitely hasn't ruined my body, and I fit back into my size 8 jeans. It is satisfying proving wrong all the women who said horrible things to me while I was pregnant about how I'd look after the birth.

Sorry to hear that.

Many of the stories are about the birth and I think much of this is to do with the woeful and shamefully under funded maternity services in the UK.

The number of maternity service scandals is shocking. Every mum should be able to have high quality care during labour.

This is my point - if someone is pregnant I just say congratulations.

If someone wants my 2 pennies worth they can ask and I will give my opinion but I do not launch into it unsolicited.

I agree with you; I was led to believe it’d ruin my body but it’s actually been fine. Lack of time to myself, money and sleep deprivation have probably done worse for me than pregnancy

No op I am not as amazing and incredible as you. I never swam so it must've been that.