To think pregnancy ruined your body?

[Poppins21]

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

Second baby ruined my body. Didn't do or eat anything different! 🙈 I guess the more you stretch your skin the less it can bounce back.

Thanks for your comments. I like to hear views different to mine.

Well done you 👏

Being pregnant gave me PGP that's never fully gone away. My youngest is 9 and I still have pain. So yes I do have permanent damage.
So i couldn't actually exercise during pregnancy apart from a bit of yoga.

Apart from that I have a few extra stretch marks and a numb area around my bellybutton! That happened with my second baby because she was quite big.

You might not have meant it that way but your post does come across as smug tbh, you need to be aware that some pregnancy "permanent damage" is beyond the woman's control!

I bounced back after no.1.
The issues I had during the pregnancy disappeared (carpal tunnel, feet problems, high BP).

After no.2 my body is struggling more... I'm hoping when I stop breastfeeding, it'll improve loads but honestly, it's worse this time and I'm accepting I may need some intervention to fix the carpal tunnel this time.

Totally agree way more support from women with traumatic birth injuries. I also think many would not happen if maternity services were properly funded.

I know it beyond women’s control and often down to the poor quality care they receive which I think is awful.

I definitely didn't hear enough stories about how my body might be different after birth. I was surprised by a few things that popped up. And when you go to discuss them with any professional they just nod and move on and there you don't feel you are being listened to or able to discuss it with anyone who understands. I got the feeling that once the baby was born everyone was like "Our job here is done" and my body just felt like a mess. I couldn't sit for 6 weeks with my first, nobody cared. I would have loved to have had all the facts early on instead of being left wondering why I felt so broken.

Yes 1 seems to be the secret.

needs to way more support for people with young families.

I would never use it in talking about my body.

Honestly this post is super helpful. It makes me so anxious reading all the pregnancy/birth horror stories and because you never hear stories like yours you just assume everyone has an awful experience. So good to hear that it won’t necessarily be terrible.

I think my boob's look better to a casual observer and I did fit back in my jeans

But I have a permanent health issue caused by birth that was not preventable by eating well and swimming (I did both).

I appreciate you were talking about having more energy not just looks, but I find a lot of the bouncing back is quite a negative thing as you dont really get a choice over thing like stretchmarks, breast changes etc.

I am leaving the thread now. Thanks for everyone’s input and I should imagine the poll with be I am being unreasonable but great to hear different to views to mine.

i did not make the post to make anyone feel bad so please accept my apologises if it did.

But it seems like if NHS was properly funded and provided better care to all mums and babies many more people would have had positive experiences. I had my baby in UK but lived in Scandinavia for almost 10 years and birth stories are much more positive.

I have moved to another country, yesterday so we interesting to see if any differences there.

Capable of, not designed for. Big distinction.

Good luck with your pregnancy and I hope you have an experience like mine.

My 3rd did the damage. Difficult pregnancy, gained lots of weight. Saggier boobs, more belly. But I still think I look good. I'm a curvy size 12, and fairly fit. I don't feel any need to "bounce back", I'm a mother of 3 and I'm allowed to look like it. I had my 1st at 21 anyway, so no hope of bouncing back to that 😂
Don't refer to other mothers bodies as "ruined" though. It's great that you "bounced back" and recovered so well, but not everyone does and you need be mindful of your language. Bodies often change in pregnancy, they are different, not "ruined".

For me it depended on how many children I had. For the first and second children my body bounced right back - barely a stretch mark in sight. After this, with children 3 and 4 and now especially 5, my stomach looks like elephant hide with so many stretch marks!

But i really don’t care what others think - I will no cry over the lack of bikini body. I have a ‘mom bod’ and my other half compliments me with his ‘dad bod’. 😊

Pregnancy didn't ruin my body, it made me feel like a goddess 🙌🏼

Congratulations on winning the genetic lottery 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 are you also one of those parents who has an easy baby that sleeps through the night and credits it 100% to their wonderful parenting?

I think your post is smug and tone deaf.

There are lots of women who suffer significant birth injuries, from pelvic floor dysfunction to complete 4th degree perineal tears leaving them doubly incontinent.

Yes pregnancy can and does ruin your body. Some women are lucky, many are not.

I'm not really interested in how you didn't get stretchmarks or how great your body looks. Good for you. Bore off.

Nature does not even expect 100% survival from pregnancy. Survival of the fittest is what drives evolution. So yes of course giving birth can go wrong and hurt mother or baby.

I agree the medical profession needs to do far more. But that doesn't mean women shouldn't be talking about their experiences. You had a better experience than you were expecting. Bit weird that you don't see that as a positive.

I think women need to be more honest with each other about pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing, not less. Maybe there would be less post natal depression when women realize the reason they're finding it hard, is because it is hard. If all the women around them have given them a sanitized version of what becoming a mother is like, no wonder it hits them hard and they feel like a failure.

Maybe on the whole women are sharing the truth more these days, and that's why fewer women are choosing to do it. Because not everyone "bounces back" and if you did it's more down to luck than anything else.

Just other people's bodies then?

The focus of your OP was bigger boobs stretch marks, getting in pre-pregnancy jeans straight away and having a high sex drive during pregnancy, and to spread that message so women need not be so afraid of ruined bodies.

What the flip does that have to do with funding NHS maternity services?

You’re trying to change the narrative now and it’s not working.

No body is ‘ruined’ by pregnancy and birth. It may or may not be changed and it may or may not be injured.

But OP’s not talking about birth injuries, which actually do hamper function in day to day life. She’s talking about stretch marks and deflated boobs.

And who decided stretch marks and deflated boobs are ‘ruined’? Men did obviously.

I loved what pregnancy did to my body, I felt wonderful (if tired - anaemic). Body the same as was before, although not been back to the gym or running much. But my downstairs is a mess.