To think pregnancy ruined your body?

[Poppins21]

I am on a few other topics at the moment and there seems to be a sentiment that pregnancy ruins your body- especially if you a geriatric mum.

i had my daughter late, i was 38. I loved being pregnant I felt very sexy and my poor husband was the knackered one during those 9 months. I have never looked better than when pregnant.

I had an elective c section and no pain, no issues and a few weeks later I was back in my normal jeans. 10 days post partum I got many comments that I couldn’t have just had a baby. I swam regularly when I was pregnant as the water felt good supporting my belly and I ate super healthy.

So I came through the other side fitter, healthier and with bigger boobs and I do not feel that pregnancy, birth and motherhood ruined my body, my life or my energy.

I understand this is not the case for everyone but be nice to hear some pregnancy positivity. Or maybe I am just a smug delusional so and so 😂

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you? When I told people I was pregnant I would have to hear so many horror stories about incontinence and stretch marks.

I actually don't think negatively about my body at all especially not when I think about the fact I made an actual person, which is still amazing to me 3 years on

From the same school of thought as ‘you don’t need to use pain relief during birth so long as you think positively / breathe properly / don’t ’lose control’ / stayed fit enough during pregnancy’

After DC1 at 35, I looked amazing and felt amazing. I was trimmer than before pregnancy and the c section didn’t really affect my body shape.

After DC2 at 36, it was a completely different story. I can’t get rid of a huge mum tum, I’m much wider and feel heavy and unattractive. If one more person asks when I’m due…..

think there is nothing more damaging to the mental health of new mothers than other mothers who are convinced they got it all right and by default the mother who is struggling (to come to terms with her weight gain, difficult birth, inability to be, baby who won't sleep, feed a fussy child etc) then feels she has done something

This 100%

@WonderingWanda sorry meant to quote you

It’s the face you’ve got to worry about. I feel like I went from looking a good few years younger than I was before kids to every single day of my age and then some after.

Lucky you.
I got a rectocele and have to splint my vagina to enable me to pass faeces ....

But yay for you 🙄

I had a c section and asked for all the drugs possible so the pain free part was certainly manufactured!

i was saying it would have been nice to hear good stories as I was scared to get pregnant and have a baby.

1 pregnancy and 1 section maybe not. 3 of them when one baby was 10lb 4oz = wrecked. It is what it is though.

Sorry to hear that- I hope things have improved for you?

I have one child. Besides stretch marks everything went back to where it should be.

Except my teeth. I had to have extensive dental work and three teeth removed thanks to hyperemesis. I vomited 6-7 times a day for 5 months.

So am I being unreasonable to celebrate what pregnancy can do for you?

I don’t really understand your point, pregnancy didn’t do anything for you. You exercised and had a healthy diet more than you did pre pregnancy. That accounts for any positive changes pre pregnancy.

Of course pregnancy doesn’t ruin everyone’s body, I don’t think anyone actually thinks that. Surely most people can visible see that not ever mother gains loads of weight?
However many mothers who go back to their jean size would mostly say their body was visible changed still.

My body changed a lot but it isn't "ruined". I don't care about my copious amounts of stretch marks - why would i want my body to not show any signs of the life I've lived?

There's more important things in life than how socially acceptable my belly looks.

I’m the same OP, I’ve had two DC and my body “bounced back” each time. I feel like it’s not the sort of thing you’re allowed to say out loud though! I’m still a size 8/10 and I do more exercise now so I actually think I look better than I did before pregnancy.

Having said that, I have noticed that both my rib cage and waist are an inch or two bigger than they used to be. I also have a lot more moles than I ever used to have! But I don’t know if any of this is pregnancy related or just due to getting older.

It definitely can! Reproduction favours the offspring, and human childbirth is particularly dangerous to mothers because of the size of our babies' heads compared to other species.

Yeah, I felt quite pleased after pregnancy 1 that I basically returned to my pre-pregnancy figure. Cue baby number 2, skin stretched out and back again and of course it’s done a lot more permanent damage, some loose skin on my tummy and tummy permanently feels rounder and just different.

You can’t compare a first pregnancy where you have so much time to yourself, evenings, weeekends, to rest, do gentle exercise, eat well, to doing a pregnancy again with another baby or toddler or older child (and possibly more than 1) to care for 24/7, and take up a lot of your headspace!

Very easily

The same way periods can make womens' lives a misery - just because something is natural doesn't mean it's fun and games.

Don’t be obtuse

I think a lot of it is down to diet and being overwhelmed, a bit tired and too stressed to eat and exercise well.

I see lots of people (including myself) who are overweight after children. They say it’s because of having children but really I think it’s from caring for them and feeling like you have no time/poor diet as generally time poor

It isn’t an ‘excuse’ because being healthy and exercising can 100% be done but it is quite a bit harder so lots of us don’t bother

I got nothing but horror stories from mums with kids between the age of newborn and 5 when I was pregnant.

i went to Tesco just minding my own business buying some food and the cashier thought it was acceptable to tell me about her 4th degree tear and how it had ruined her body.

And the comments on other threads today just got me thinking about it again. It would have been nice to get a congratulations and something positive said at the time.

Changed it but didn't ruin it.

That sounds amazing OP im glad you had a great a great pregnancy. Mine were bloody awful the whole way through I vomited constantly with all three pregnancies the whole nine months, and I'm left with so many issues still suffer from SPD due to my pelvis still being misaligned after physio, painful varicose veins, back and shoulder pain from the random position I ended up in during my final push on third baby and stretch marks galore but it's also still the most important and amazing thing I have ever done and totally worth it all. Me and my best friend were pregnant at the same time and sailed through feeling better than ever like you. I wish everyone could feel like you did and am genuinely glad to hear stories like yours

Yes this. I am still in awe 10 years later I grew a human.

I'm similar to you OP in that I had one at 38, loved being pregnant and stayed fit and healthy.

I'm now two stone overweight because of wine and chips and can't seem to kick either!

Ps it wasn't all fun and games though. I lost baby number two late in pregnancy which is probably where the comfort eating comes from.

It’s just luck OP - I think everyone knows some people bounce back, some are left with serious issues and/or empty balloon tits, and most people are in between.