To be so over my tight, selfish DH every birthday

[IAmMyUtterLackOfSurprise]

I turned 57 yesterday. Birthday was a text from husband saying sorry for using last of milk, whoops happy birthday, kids up late, a card eventually. No card from DH, bottle of Lidl wine and a bunch of flowers. Booked dinner out for tonight but cancelled because DH work, rebooked for tomorrow, having had ‘well, I’m not bothered, but if YOU REALLY WANT TO’.

FB scrolling tonight I see a string quartet Coldplay concert by candlelight, not too far away, in an old priory, say ‘ooh, I’ve found a birthday pressy’ and his response was ‘hmph, not my sort of thing’..then ‘what, instead of dinner? What did you get me?’ (30 yr old scotch, dinner out with wine and a book actually’.

I fucking love Coldplay but will ever be able to afford to see them live, I thought this would be a lovely evening and cheapest tickets are £21 each.

Am I being stupid and unreasonable to just fucking want to be spoilt for one fucking birthday? My family have always been hard up so I’ve not had one birthday where it feels like a celebration.

I know this is first world problems, but am I being unreasonable to want to feel the centre of the world for ONE day?

Go to the concert!!

Treat yourself and take a friend! And if Jake every one of your birthdays a big deal going forward.

Gove your husband back exactly what he gives you.

Go to the concert. We went to a Film theme music orchestra in a cathedral which was great. It's just something a bit different but we enjoyed it. And the tickets are cheap, so who cares if you go and don't enjoy it. You still went! Would one of your children be interested if you don't want to go on your own?

Yes! I’d do that too !

My husband is the same. For the last 8 years tho I've planned and booked my own day...treated myself to whatever I wanted. I mini break...a hotel for the night in a different city.....I've become not afraid to go alone and it's been better cause I have the peace to so it without the grumbling at every suggestion. Make next years birthday great, even if you plan it for you.

Thank you for all the lovely messages. I’m a long time mn-er and have seen some eye watering bun fights. But thank you, all of you, I can hear the roar 🦁 of the mn mind wishing me happy birthday.

A very lovely mn who lives fairly local to me has reached out to go to the concert together. This thread shows MN at its very best.

And I have told DH I am going, without him. He’s back-pedalling massively but I’m saying tough shit.

What a fabulous update.
Happy birthday to you and hope you and your fellow Coldplay MNetter fan thoroughly enjoy the concert.

This OP 👏👏👏👏

Book 2 tickets and take a friend - have a lovely dinner before - tell him he will be paying for the whole thing.

Aaw that's lovely hope you're able to take up on the offer.

Awesome update op!!! Hopefully it might make him reflect and realise he's an utter shit who makes zero effort.
Enjoy Coldplay by candlelight!

I love this! Well done, OP. How lovely to have a MN friend to go with too! Do not let your dickhead husband off lightly, either. Do things for yourself from now on and watch him backpedal (hopefully - my xh didn't bother! I was too proud to ask/remind and he took that as no need to bother...).

Hope you are loving the concert!

Yup. Regift it.

My dh ruined my 40th birthday.. He was an exh before I was 41.. No regrets. Enjoy the concert and your new friend op.

OP now your daughter is older think about going to events with her?

Belated birthday wishes, i hope the concert was brilliant and that you have made a new friend. Please do not put any effort into his birthday or Christmas presents from now on.

Well done OP and fellow MNer!
💐

The concert is 4th Oct. I will come back and report!

Absolutely don’t allow him to go now, he’s been an absolute arsehole. Please do fuck all for him next birthday, show him the same consideration ie sod all.

Just go, leave him hone! My hubby rarely goes to live events, plus he doesn’t share my choice of music or comedians so I go on my own. It would be nice to have him there for company but why waste the money for him to sit there bored when I can go alone and enjoy myself.

Take yourself off to Coldplay and have a nice time. Sorry, but you should be the centre of the world every day. Why is the bar so low? I couldn't accept this.

Oh I was so hoping it was going to be near me. I'd have gone with you like a shot. I keep seeing these advertised and it looks wonderful. Go anyway OP. Knickers to your DH. I used to have one just like that. Note. Used to

Oh hurray. Just seen this. Huge happy birthday OP. Have a superb time 😃🥳

Happy Birthday Op.

Don’t let him come to the concert with you. Go with your MN friend and have a wonderful time without the selfish sod.

When his Birthday rolls around again treat him as he has treated you and see how he likes it.