Primary child sat only with non-English speaking children

[evilharpy]

I don't know if IABU so grateful for any opinions.

Daughter is in second to last year of primary and has just gone back to school (we are in Ireland, before anyone says it's too early) and they've been allocated to their table groups. The class is maybe 1/4 ESL children, 3/4 native speakers. She is on one long table with only children who have fairly recently moved here and don't speak much English sitting beside or really anywhere near her, certainly not close enough to talk to or pair up with for activities. Several of them are from the same country so speak each other's language.

Now I have no problem at all with ESL children being sat with or paired up with native speakers, how else are they supposed to learn, and I know the purpose of lessons is not to sit chatting to your friends, but she is worried she will be isolated and that she will end up spending more time helping them than doing her own work. She is very academic, if that's relevant, but is not at all prone to drama or moaning so the fact that she has told me she's worried about it has made me concerned.

WIBU to raise this with the teacher and ask if the tables could be mixed up a bit? Has anyone had a similar experience and it's worked out ok for the child?

That’s your school setting. What makes you think OPs school setting is the same? A bit stupid to presume it is…..

Tell them that your kid is not there to be a teacher. She won't be helping with their English either. She needs to sit with other English speaking kids.

When I was 9 a kid from abroad came over and I was told to look after her - I didn't even get my parents involved, told the teacher that I won't look after her, she can't speak English and I don't understand her language either.
Like all brown people understand each other!

I wouldn't be happy with this, unless my DC was getting some benefit too and learning the other language. My neice has picked up two or three other languages now as she has made friends with some other children which I think is fantastic (she's now 18)

I work in a supermarket in Ireland and spent seven months working in a department with four Polish women who only spoke Polish all day long and completely ignored me. It was an extremely isolating experience and thankfully I got moved to another department. Speak to your child’s teacher and get it sorted.

What a disgusting attitude!

Amazing!

No it's not.
At 9 I don't need other people's issues.
Teachers can do the job they're paid for.
If my parents can teach me English before I go to school so can other people's.

When I arrived in the uk I spoke two other languages but no English. The level of the whole class slowed down until I caught up. If the other children had been more friendly and helpful, perhaps I would have learned more quickly.

So?
I spoke 2 languages before learning English too.
I still don't speak English in my actual home or to my relatives.
Purely a business language for me.

Your parents should've taught you.
Bad decision by your school if true.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. We had same issue with ours when she was in year 1 and 2. She is very academically bright and advance and she was paired with children who were much academically behind her. Her schools' reasoning was that she need to learn how to to accommodate others. Now she did not have an issue with that but this was schools lazy way of not stepping up to do their job teaching those kids. My daughter was expected to 'help' those kids. She was just 6 years old. She would get frustrated and do it for them and then would get told off for not being patient. We go so frustrated that we changed schools.

My parents spoke only very basic English when we arrived. We moved for my father’s job. The school , fees paid for by my father’s employer, was full of pretentious spoilt little girls who were rude and unfriendly to me. I was the only non English pupil in my class.

@Parker231 I'm sorry your parents put you in that situation. I hope you managed to build a good life back in your home country in spite of the poor experience you had in the UK.

Wasn’t my parents fault - it was a top London girls school (some on Mn love it). The fault was unfriendly, unhelpful, spoilt six year olds. Once I’d learnt English I bet them hands down and went to LSE and got a 1st!. My parents moved back home when I was 20. DH and I left the UK nearly 2 years ago.

Those saying she sees her friends at break time - well surely her friends will be getting to know and make friends with the English speakers next to them not DD who is elsewhere in the class room - this could be what she means by being left out.

This post is full of racist hyperbole.

This may be an unpalatable opinion, but I wouldn't consider it racist to feel a level of grievance with the fact ESL students are given hefty excess times in exams. Not all ESL students are from different races are they ? Or did you think it was only black and brown people that spoke English as a second language?

Tbf I've witnessed this myself in a course I did for work. The person who got extra time, left earlier than everyone else. I was not impressed, although I guess if it's allowed then most people will take it up. I'm bilingual BTW.

Enjoying school and enjoying learning is what I'd call 'academic'. A child who enjoys school and enjoys learning is probably a child who reads a lot, doodles or does art for herself, embraces new topics in maths, is enthusiastic about project work.

So you're complaining that someone got allocated extra time (because they were entitled to it) but then didn't use it? Why on earth did that annoy you?

As a separate point, someone can be entitled to adaptations for an exam and also be extremely competent. The adaptation is to make it a level playing field.

This is fascinating.

I wonder what skills your father must have had for someone move to the UK for a job and have their child's school fees paid for, but only manage a very basic English. He must have been amazing at his job.

So many on this thread are making assumptions like this. Just wow.

OPs daughter has raised worries but we don’t actually know any facts about it - there are assumptions none of them can speak English, and that she will be facilitating others learning. Who said this?

And why will she feel odd? Because she’s the only Irish one at the table? Do you recognise the discrimination in your own language? Starting from a place of assumptions and bias rather than a place of curiosity is exactly why we have racism and such awful prejudice.

Children learn from the adults around them - if a child learns that migrants as so different that they will feel odd and not make friends, naturally children will want to also want to stay away and continue the unhelpful narratives about difference that exist everywhere in the uk and Ireland. In my other post on this thread I’ve suggested understanding the daughter’s anxiety in context - why does she think she’ll be facilitating learning? Why does she think she’ll feel odd - curiosity can help to ease her worries rather than amplifying them by jumping straight to unhelpful assumptions and actually learn what her daughter is anxious about . She might be feeling anxious that she’s not sat by her usual friends, or it might be lots of change. It might actually have nothing to do with the migrants but normal difficulties around transitions and change. I really urge OP to be curious with her daughter to understand her worries and not just jump to conclusions about migrants 🙄 then if needed talk to the teacher but not to demand she is moved to be nearer other peers but to ensure her learning is encouraged.

I think the points you make are balanced and fair.

That being said, it's naive to think that the only native speaker at the table isn't going to feel 'the odd one out '. When immigrants go to a different country they very often form communities of their own heritage, often for social meet ups etc. we don't see this as unusual - we understand the need for seeking out similarly. So why is it so hard to understand that one Irish student is going to feel socially disadvantaged by being on a table with all non English speakers?

I entirely understand your viewpoint and agree to a large extent. But understanding and making reasonable adjustment has to work all ways. Not just the 2024 accepted 'correct' way. Otherwise resentments start bubbling away under the surface and that never leads to good things. The OP and her daughter (who needs an advocate) has to be able to express valid concerns without race and othering coming into it to shut down the issue.

It still isn't the job of little children to teach other kids.

At primary school your friends are the people sat next to you.
Her kid is being left out.
OP should take this to the head teacher.
Useless school ruining one kid's childhood because they took in children they can't be bothered to teach.