Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

New neighbours moved in next door a few weeks ago. They have a young boy I’d estimate age 2 to 3. He shrieks virtually all day and evening, not in a crying upset way, more in play and excitement but it’s ALL.THE.TIME!
Theyre out in the garden and he’s shrieking (can’t think of another word for it) or kinda singing to himself in a really high pitched loud tone, and when they’re inside he’s doing the same. We live in small terrace houses and can hear loudish noise through the walls. I work from home 3 days a week and it’s driving me to distraction. We can’t sit out in the garden as it’s constant. I appreciate he may have some additional needs but surely the parents would be aware of the noise and try to reduce this? He is definitely verbal as I hear him chatting to his mum. Apparently the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad leaves for work early and comes back quite late so there’s been no interaction between us since they moved in. WWYD? The noise is driving me insane but I really don’t want to be insensitive

*the father never seems to be present.

If it's that bad OP could keep a noise log and go through the council. But I don't expect anything would ever be done about a noisy toddler. Whether it is "acceptable" or not, if home is noisy she can't work there.

You can still hear if you’re not playing music but it takes the edge off.

So for the people saying it’s not acceptable, that the neighbour needs to do something, exactly what do you expect someone to do about a child who has no capacity to be reasoned with? Genuine question.

Because while it absolutely is understandable that a child who literally screams all day would be a serious frustration,if there isn’t a solution then there isn’t a solution, and it does come down to the frustrated person to find one which works for them.

As tenants, could you have a word with the landlord? The screeching sounds far and above what would be deemed ''acceptable''.

Detached houses would be wonderful, but even a friend who lives in a detached place surrounded by fields has a neighbour over the field who had children that shrieked - and the sound carried.

That high pitched alarm sound is like armour piercing bullets.

I'm sure some parents are deafened and have poor hearing so are immune to the screeches.

If my child shrieked all day long and could not be calmed I would take them to the GP. I don't think you need to reason with them, but if playing with them, repeatedly telling them not to be so loud, bringing them in the house etc didn't stop the shrieking I would be concerned there was an underlying cause.

The only time one of my kids screamed so loudly I had to close the windows was when he was delirious with an ear infection. I did tell the neighbours the next day (it was at night) and of course they understood.

And if the child was then diagnosed with a severe disability which was then essentially that underlying cause, what then?

Really? I sure as hell tried with my kids and they did learn.

If anyone's behaviour in my household negatively impacted the lives of my neighbours', whether that be a child with an underlying condition which meant they shrieked all day, or my partner awaiting a capacity assessment that was prone to leaving the home partially dressed, or my newly graduated teenager wanted to have a one off party until 1am, I would talk to the neighbours.

Well, for starters I would expect the parents to constantly tell their child to use his silent voice. If he can't patents should not let him outside. I'm serious. My oldest ASD spoke/screamed so loudly I would not let him out in the garden. And I would close the windows. I went outside with him everyday to different playgrounds so he was happy and the neighbours were happy. So when our neighbours said "he's a child" as a response to their child being outside wailing at all hours (not ND but lazy parenting and rude neighbours) it really made me p.o. thinking of all the efforts I'd done not to disturb them before they had a child. Our other neighbours were happy though and we were all relieved when they left.

Can a disability be ‘severe’ if the only symptom is shrieking?

These days it probably would be classed as a serious disability..
Met a teacher I’d not seen for 20 yrs and she said the standards of behaviour generally have fallen dramatically.
She had her grandchildren with her, at a cafe and their behaviour was impeccable. ( one a toddler who played quietly and nicely with another toddler.

She says so many people aren’t doing basic discipline with their children, seeking diagnosis instead.

What has changed so fundamentally in the last 20 yrs?

Nobody is criticising children with diagnosed ASD, or their parents (at least I’m not), it’s people who instantly pipe up with ‘he/she is probably autistic!’ or even worse, instantly speak as if they are - ‘it’s very hard if they have ASD…’

It’s reached a point on here where, in every scenario, the default assumption is the person being discussed has autism, unless there’s rock solid evidence they’re not (which is impossible on an internet forum).

It’s getting out of control and prevents any kind of discussion about virtually all human behaviour, because the instant ‘diagnosis’ at the start of the thread makes virtually every comment thereafter ‘ableist’.

If the Op can't get it sorted with the parents, then usually recording it is the next step...and LONG recordings to demonstrate the length of time it goes on for.

How do you know what her conversational English is like if you haven’t spoken with her? Or do you mean you just haven’t spoken with her about this particular issue? If so, you’ll have to wait until the dad is around. I don’t think it’s fair for them to be branded as terrible, selfish parents if the issue hasn’t even be raised with them.

Dont you love the posts that go "But my child is also autistic and sleeps very well /insert any orther thing they don't struggle with but your child does), so maybe it's your parenting?". Or "just because they are autistic it does not mean that... "
I just laugh, because what else can you do.👁👄👁

I wear noise cancelling headphones in my office because we have a woman who shrieks all day. I don't think anyone ever taught her an indoor voice or to just be quiet for 20 minutes! I couldn't bear child shrieking at home. It causes me physical pain. Regardless of any underlying condition, you don't get to disturb the peace. I would talk to the neighbour and explain the problem. She's probably become immune to the noise and its impact on others and might not have realised. If that doesn't work or if she's the child-centric type who won't parent, then complain to the landlord, with recordings. In the meantime, noise-cancelling headphones that play white noise can really help.
The man next door to me has a little girl. When she gets screechy he just says 'we don't shout in the garden' and if it persists, he takes her in. So she's learned. I wish more people would do that.

There are obviously children who do have special needs who are in a special category because they simply can't understand and there is very little help for parents in such cases. In my earlier post I wasn't referring to children who I thought were stimming. My own ASD son is very sensitive to noise although this might be because he has much more acute hearing than normal according to the ENT specialist.

YANBU @Mydietstartstomorrow , and PMSL at 'noise cancelling headphones' being the 4th post in! 😆

Not everyone wants to have to go about their business at home wearing noise cancelling bastard headphones, purely because someone is incapable of parenting their own child(ren.) I work from home, and would lose my fucking shit if I had kids next door screaming blue fucking murder all day. No advice sorry @Mydietstartstomorrow except move, or wait til next week - the little shits go back to school then. HOORAY!' 😏

I don't think my neighbour's son has special needs but even if he does, his parents can't blame us for doing what we need to do to deal with his extended noisy moments. I'll drown them out with music or something. In fact I accidentally found out that the neighbour's son doesn't like the sound of the leaf blower and will stop and go inside if I run it, so I have my management technique down. It gets too much, leaf blower. He goes inside and stays there. I'm quite tolerant and patient about it, but sometimes it's too much.

I don’t think my post was solely about working from home though why are people focusing on this part?! It’s in my non working life too!!!

This thread gives me flashbacks.

I had this in my old flat. The terraced houses across the road had gardens backing onto our complex. In the one house, there was a girl. For three years she would shriek scream, really high-pitched long undulating ones, all day every day. It was enough to make you go cross-eyed. It was so bad it used to sometimes, and quite literally, upset my stomach. Don't know if anyone will get it but real sphincter puckering sound. The screaming used to set their next door neighbour's dog off, big mastiff looking beast, so it would start barking and clamouring to get over the wall. The parents never intervened. Quite how that dog never got to that child I will never know, nor how the parents couldn't see the danger. The walls were not even that high as it's paws and head were atop that wall and the wall was quite flimsy. If that dog had been of a slightly different weight, that child may well have been in serious trouble. A relative visited me with her newborn the once and exclaimed, "WTF, my milk just curdled in my breasts".

I moved. Blissful silence. Then lockdown one came along and two families with lots of kids started spending their days on rugs outside the window of my new home on a patch of public grass. They treated it like their own private park. Screaming, shrieking, shouting, throwing stuff at the walls and windows of surrounding properties and at cars. All the while the mums sat there on their thick rugs with big pillows loudly gabbing away at warp speed and never getting up to deal with their kids. It was like I had died and gone to hell. Every lockdown they did this, seven days a week, from 9am to 7pm or later. It made my health worse due to the stress of the constant noise and sudden loud outbursts of high pitch screeching. Couldn't block it out by shutting windows and doors. Couldn't leave the house as shielding. Couldn't move as lockdown and no money to do it again so soon. I'd spot them waddling over and my heart would sink. Earplugs, nor industrial ear defenders didn't even block it out.

OP you have my sympathy.

Also, just because it's noise from a child and/or ND person, doesn't make that noise any more pleasant nor easier to live with. Unfortunately, a kind or tolerant heart won't protect your ears nor your nerves.

Probably because it's the bit with the easiest fix? Headphones, moving location or going to the office are all easily within your control and can have immediate impacts.

It is the family that has a problem they need to fix it not shrug their shoulders and expect the the neighbours to put up with it. Get treatment. Solve their own problem.
No, I don't know what precisely. I am not specialised in that subject. I would be mighty pissed if a noisy brat hindered my life for 50 hours a week.
Doing nothing can never be the correct answer to any problem. That is what many of you are advocating.
That cannot be a good life for that child either. Doing something to fix his life is probably the most important factor.

Because this way they can push all responsibility to find a solution back to you instead of accepting that some parents might just inconsiderate and selfish people.