Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

New neighbours moved in next door a few weeks ago. They have a young boy I’d estimate age 2 to 3. He shrieks virtually all day and evening, not in a crying upset way, more in play and excitement but it’s ALL.THE.TIME!
Theyre out in the garden and he’s shrieking (can’t think of another word for it) or kinda singing to himself in a really high pitched loud tone, and when they’re inside he’s doing the same. We live in small terrace houses and can hear loudish noise through the walls. I work from home 3 days a week and it’s driving me to distraction. We can’t sit out in the garden as it’s constant. I appreciate he may have some additional needs but surely the parents would be aware of the noise and try to reduce this? He is definitely verbal as I hear him chatting to his mum. Apparently the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad leaves for work early and comes back quite late so there’s been no interaction between us since they moved in. WWYD? The noise is driving me insane but I really don’t want to be insensitive

My friends 5yr old DD is autistic and non verbal, but shrieks / squeals a lot too. A neighbour asked her if she could keep it down as her DH was on nights and couldn’t sleep. She told them unfortunately nothing she can do, which is true. She’s in a flat so worse, but she can’t afford a house so it is what it is unfortunately

If the child has ASD you can still do everything in your power to reduce the screaming. And also talk to the neighbours to explain the situation. That's what I did. Ours rarely bothered the neighbours because I took him to the playground every day and he only screamed when having a meltdown. He talked loudly but we corrected by whispering and saying it was hard to hear when he spoke loudly. Still have to correct him at 14. But nothing says the boy next door is Asd. I know lots of children who scream if you don't tell them to stop and use their quiet voice. If nobody tells the poor lad how is he supposed to learn?

I would record it and go over to play it to them and say is there any chance we can reach a compromise on the days you work from home

Get some headphones. You can't ask someone to make their toddler be quiet, it's just what comes with being in a terrace. I imagine the parents would love some quiet time too.

I never let my DS make that row at home, it would have done my head in. If he wanted to run about shrieking and let off steam we'd go to the park for a few hours. Small children can be distracted. It's lazy parenting.

But you can force somebody to forfeit their right to hear in their own home? madness.

i don’t have an office since covid, it’s wfh or I’m out visiting customers

There isn’t anywhere else, no, but even if I could you can still hear him all over the house!

No not H but I feel your pain!

Your neighbour is aware of the problem but selfishly is doing nothing to respect the neighbours. Check the noise regulations in your area. Have a word with your neighbour and see what happens. If nothing improves then social services would be the next point of call so that they can check if all help is available to this family.

But they don’t appear to even try to stop the noise
I don’t have an office anymore so I’m either working from home or visiting clients
And he doesn’t seem to go to bed until past 9pm! I’m usually in bed before him !

Some kids are very loud. Just born like that. Appreciate it’s annoying but the parent may well be doing all they can and it’s very unlikely this would count as any kind of nuisance/ antisocial behaviour. By all means have a word but I wouldn’t expect it to stop. After all it is his home and most homes in the UK (small/ bad sound insulation/ close together) are not really designed to be workplaces.

Have you tried working in a different room, noise cancelling headphones and making sure the windows are closed when you really need to concentrate? Could you go into the office a bit more or find a quieter work space nearby? If he’s closer to 3 than 2 he might be about to start nursery and it won’t be long before he’s in school, so it’s a relatively short time.

People telling op to wear headphones or even move house!! Why should she? . The I is here is in the parents of the child to keep him quiet and not let him make everyone life a misery around him. If they can’t do that then they should move. Don’t inflict your kids noise on others. If there are some special needs it’s a shame but it still stands that others shouldn’t be disturbed. If that is the case it’s up to them to either soundproof or move somewhere with no neighbors.

Tell your workplace to provide you with an office then? 🤷‍♀️

Part of living in a terrace is hearing noise from next door but it's also accepting that you should try to keep the noise down for your neighbours in return. Our toddler understands that we think of others so shouting, screaming and loud music are a no go.

People telling op to wear headphones or even move house!! Why should she?

I guess because it’s her that has the issue and needs to have a quieter environment?

Totally appreciate that it’s annoying but homes, especially in family areas are not offices. It’s this child and his mother’s home, not a workplace. Of course everyone should try to be considerate but if the woman is trying, has other stuff going on or there are SN involved I don’t think it’s fair to stop the very young child playing/ singing etc at home just because someone next door is working.

Sounds hellish, sadly not sure there's much you can do. You could speak to the parents, maybe they don't realise how much it carries.

Would you say that if next door was playing thumping music all day? The reason is immaterial and the impact is the same. It’s up to the producer of the noise to stop (or try to), not for everyone else to put up with it ‘because it’s they who have the problem’

Ring the police and say you suspect some sort of abuse.
If they get enough visits they might start to parent.
Some parents are low lifes.

I think going round and being friendly, understanding and non-confrontational is the way forward. It will be very difficult to stop but certainly efforts can be made to encourage him to tone it down

when my ds was a screaming baby my neighbour came around to very gently complain- I mean obviously we knew she could hear him but we didn’t quite understand the impact it had on her. She was very nice about it Tbf and ds grew out of the screaming phase

ultimately this kid will grow out of it too

I've lived in a terrace for over 25 years. In all that time any immediate neighbours and I have always checked with each other now and again if we are disturbing each other.
One side is a rental and some times their massive telly was on the party wall. A quick discussion and they sorted it out.
One time my neighbour told me he could hear chairs scraping on the kitchen floor. I put pads on legs.
Another neighbour said she liked hearing my son play his guitar when I checked with her.
We are aware of each other and respect that we all want to live peacefully.
I've always made sure my boys don't storm up and down the stairs or shout in the garden etc.

Agree that everyone should try to be considerate, but thumping music is different. Kids playing, even noisily is normal family life, not someone being deliberately antisocial. Any council I’ve come across would see it this way too.

Yes I agree. I would be a bit ‘I hate to do this, and I really wouldn’t unless I really had to, but unfortunately the noise is really impacting my ability to work. Totally understand this may not have occurred to you as you look very busy, but is there any way of limiting the shrieking?’

But it isn’t. I’ve never allowed my kids to scream continuously to the extent my neighbours find it hard to work. They’re 5 and nearly 2, so I understand, but it’s up to you as the parent to intervene, redirect or whatever. Excitable chatter and normal play sounds are fine, endless shrieking and screaming isn’t.

@Blueybanditbingochilli with respect you don’t know that unless you’ve spoken to each and every one of your neighbours at any time. Plus kids are hugely different- I taught for a while and some kids just had a much higher natural volume level and were more excitable- they were always the ones you could hear first from 2 corridors away! Whatever I did it didn’t really change it. Totally agree that the parents should try their best anyway, but maybe you were just lucky and got relatively quiet kids 🤷