Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

New neighbours moved in next door a few weeks ago. They have a young boy I’d estimate age 2 to 3. He shrieks virtually all day and evening, not in a crying upset way, more in play and excitement but it’s ALL.THE.TIME!
Theyre out in the garden and he’s shrieking (can’t think of another word for it) or kinda singing to himself in a really high pitched loud tone, and when they’re inside he’s doing the same. We live in small terrace houses and can hear loudish noise through the walls. I work from home 3 days a week and it’s driving me to distraction. We can’t sit out in the garden as it’s constant. I appreciate he may have some additional needs but surely the parents would be aware of the noise and try to reduce this? He is definitely verbal as I hear him chatting to his mum. Apparently the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad leaves for work early and comes back quite late so there’s been no interaction between us since they moved in. WWYD? The noise is driving me insane but I really don’t want to be insensitive

This is screaming noise not kids playing noise.I have my neighbours kids playing outside with music and of course I accept this. Would I accept screaming 24/7 - not at all.I would get the situation checked out by the police and social services.

Why can't there be balance? I have a problem preteen next door (not ND as far as I know). If his parents spent some time with him instead of leaving him at a loose end all the time, maybe he wouldn't be a problem for neighbours?

I accidently figured out a noise he hates though so, when he gets to be too much, I make the noise and he retreats inside immediately. Don't have to do it often though.

I’m not stalking your posts. I was on your other thread It isn’t stalking to remember a username.

You can and should show consideration and this goes both ways: one party should try to reduce the noise where possible and one should recognise that children, especially very young children, are often difficult to manage in this sense. It’s like crying babies, complete pain but often there is not much you can do.

My little boy verbally stims, not all day every day but a lot. I don’t find it frustrating unless he’s doing because he’s sad which is rare; it’s more a happy thing he does. Anyway, it comes and goes - it’s usually a phase but it comes back round the level of ‘severity’ it is. There’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. My husband can be quite sensitive to the noise when it’s through the night. It’s not always enjoyable 🥺.

Some cultures parent children differently. We have fanily friends where the mum
was Japanese and a friend was a nanny for a time to them (4 boys). They’d let their DC around on tables with sharp knives and when the friend asked about safety it was “it’s fine in Japan” so she couldn’t do anything. I think she left earlier in the end.

No problem 😊 it felt a bit like you'd gone to the trouble of looking at my other posts to prove I was wrong but I maybe misinterpreted the tone of your post.

Yes, I agree that some noise is to be expected when you live in a built up area or have neighbours. Consideration and understanding on both sides make good neighbourly relations.

My 2 year old makes a crying type sound when he’s really enjoying playing 🤷‍♀️ but we’re not always playing sometime we just sit a watch tv in silence. I’d assume there’s nothing wrong with them and say can they try and calm him down.

Yeah but it's their child lol

No not at all - sorry it if came over badly. I know as teachers (I am one myself) it’s easy to be frustrated with poorly behaved children but having my own DS has been humbling in that sense! I remember when he was two he decided he wanted another child’s toy, removed from the situation, went back, tried to distract him, nope, ended up having to take him away as he screamed and hysterically tried to fight his way out of my arms to get at this toy and I don’t think this was behaviour out of the ordinary for a two year old.

Now, he’s three, approaching four and I could reason with him. He’d accept (stroppily probably but he would accept) ‘no, that’s Oliver’s toy, leave it.’

DS wasn’t very verbal until he was closer to three though: his language development followed a broadly ‘normal’ trajectory but I know a lot of children (mostly girls) who were a lot more sophisticated and able to use language far more clearly than DS aged two. So maybe that makes a difference. I just know my own DS had some pretty epic tantrums at 2 and luckily we don’t have neighbours but if we did I would have had to apologise profusely!

I don’t “choose” to work from home that’s how it’s turned out since covid!
And it’s not about just me working and being disturbed, people seem to be focusing on that! It’s an all of my home life too! I could probably cope if it was just during my working day, use headphones whatever, but it’s all the time!

My daughter used to have almighty tantrums lol. It made me a much better teacher, having been a parent. If you know what I mean.

Yes you can ask them. Being a toddler doesn't mean you get to rue the roost and having a toddler is not a free pass for parents to unleash their child on everyone else.

Slowly, slowly catchy monkey.

Have you welcomed them? I think I’d start by dropping round a bunch of flowers or some sweets for the kid. “Just wanted to say hello and welcome to the street. Sorry it’s been a while, I’m really busy with work”. Suggest coffee, bring up that you wfh and try to steer the conversation in the right direction. If they’re reasonable people, they’ll listen.

If they’re not, I fear there’s not much you can do.

I wouldn't say anything tbh. I don't mind hearing children being happy in the daytime, I don't know when we came to expect silence all the time. It will change soon enough, when he grows up and goes to school. Is he going to nursery next week?

No, not yet, the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad is out at work all day. It would involve me going round and knocking one evening or weekend and I feel really awkward about doing that and what to say! The fences in the garden are high so I can’t lean over and say hi I would have to go round

Mumsnet Bingo! ''Special needs'' always suggested for the less than well behaved child.

@Mydietstartstomorrow Screeching like this would drive many people {including me} round the bend.
Was in a supermarket yesterday and a child screamed so suddenly and shrilly it actually hurt my ears.

Far too many kids are just allowed to screech and make a noise without being reined in.

As kids, we were told to ''keep the noise down'' of we had friends to play-

As to ''noise cancelling headphones'' who wants to wear those in their own house, when it isn't even their kid screeching?

Plus reviews say they don't work for screeching and baby crying, it just takes the sharp edge off the awful sound.

I’ve no suggestions but you have my sympathy as we have noisy neighbours - loads of noisy children , equally noisy adults , loud music in the garden - I could go on . We are detached so the noise isn’t bad indoors , particularly if I have the windows shut and our own household noise but unless they are out peaceful enjoyment of our garden is impossible .

Speak to the dad tomorrow. If they are fairly new to the country or indeed the area, you could frame it as raising concern, pointing out some people will not do this, just complain to someone such as social services. You could use the example of the person who complained about Kirstie Allsop.

It's OP's whole life being disrupted by this hideous noise. Not just her working hours.

There was a wonderful noise cancelling face mask advertised for children about 10 years ago- sadly it was just a spoof ad.

I really feel for you OP. We have a child next door - an 8 year old girl who squeals and shrieks ALL the time. Happy, sad, excited - it’s all expressed in a high pitched shriek. Ear- piercing and alarming. She even shrieks happily to herself where another child would hum or sing. No SEN. It’s been years since I’ve been able to enjoy my garden.

You need a grumpy neighbour who has different expectations on behaviour, we live pretty centrally with DC but they are teenagers and one nearly an adult, it isn’t suburbia or a ‘family’ area particularly. Anyway, we had some Children that don’t actually live on our road, start to play tennis on the street; I wfh some days and the noise of the ball too and throw was sometimes 3hrs after school with a break for dinner (I assume), the ball would often bounce off my car bonnet! Plus, there was singing of West end productions like Matilda- it was the same song over and over, even my teens were complaining and one of them always has his earphones on listening to music but he could hear it through that. I think if it had been an hour or so after school not that bad but sometimes they would go inside until 8.30 at night so in total about 4 hours! In the end my neighbour asked them to go and play tennis in their own street or go to the park which is ten minutes away and complained to the parents. It has pretty much stopped and I see the Grandma with them near the park so I assume they have decided this is a better option!

Why should she?

We have neighbours like this , thankfully not right next door but across the way from us . They have three children from six years down to a baby .At 7.30 am they plonk them outside in the garden and the screaming and shrieking starts including the parents who have never heard of speaking in indoor voices .It is truely unbelievable .I pity their immediate next door neighbours.

Have they bought, or do they rent?
If rent, maybe speak to the landlord if possible?

The noise sounds extreme, and chances are they will have more kids if the wife is a stay at home mum.

I really feel your pain, screaming noises puts everyone on edge. Parents seem to be more immune when it is their own kid screeching.

I feel like you need to talk to the neighbours. You don't know what is going on so I think it is really premature to suggest they are selfish or bad parents. I also think you should think about possible compromises to suggest that might help eg curtains/carpets to absorb noise in their and/or your house.