Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

New neighbours moved in next door a few weeks ago. They have a young boy I’d estimate age 2 to 3. He shrieks virtually all day and evening, not in a crying upset way, more in play and excitement but it’s ALL.THE.TIME!
Theyre out in the garden and he’s shrieking (can’t think of another word for it) or kinda singing to himself in a really high pitched loud tone, and when they’re inside he’s doing the same. We live in small terrace houses and can hear loudish noise through the walls. I work from home 3 days a week and it’s driving me to distraction. We can’t sit out in the garden as it’s constant. I appreciate he may have some additional needs but surely the parents would be aware of the noise and try to reduce this? He is definitely verbal as I hear him chatting to his mum. Apparently the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad leaves for work early and comes back quite late so there’s been no interaction between us since they moved in. WWYD? The noise is driving me insane but I really don’t want to be insensitive

Wonderful result! Well done proactive neighbour!

Because she's finding it hard to work at home? Don't be dense.

Do you mean that the screaming child family should pay her costs in funding another office space and travel to and from? Why should the op have extra costs because of the neighbour’s selfishness?

Well nothing is going to change unless you try and speak to them as a first step! Just have a friendly conversation and explain that you're trying to work and finding the noise really intrusive. They may not realise how much you can hear, especially if they're used to it.

I have neighbours with a daughter who shrieks. They actually encourage it.

The only good thing is that they want to build an extension which will take up most of their garden. We'll have the building noise but once it's done, she won't have space to play in the garden anymore.

No, I mean that when someone writes a thread asking 'what would you do' in response to finding it difficult to work from home due to neighbour noise, a response which suggests going into the office more often is a completely reasonable, common sense and logical suggestion which has now been met with complete pigheadedness by two posters.

Yes, one of the parents was resistant at first and said their dc have a right to play in the street (that isn’t where their house is🤨) but I think the Grandma agreed with my older neighbour as I’d often see her telling them to return home as it was late or whatever. I am a laid back person and have DC so I know what it is like when they are younger; mine played on their scooters outside sometimes but I was really aware of the impact on others if they were noisy and would ask them in if noisy and tell them not to be. Life is about compromise so i think they were being unreasonable for stretches of playing out for hours at a time as others have a right to enjoy their house in peace. This was how I was brought up but my parents wouldn’t have tolerated screeching mostly for their own sake😂

But this does not just affect the OP’s work. Nobody should have to endure consistent noise pollution in their own home.

I’m in similar situation, neighbour boy of about 5, shrieks regularly and loudly until he almost breaks glass. Sounds more like attention seeking than eg autism. HIS baby neighbour, aged about 2, is now copying the loud shrieking, must think it’s normal behaviour. I usually have to shut windows and use ear plugs.

Could you get one of those mosquito alarms? Only the child would be able to hear it.

A friend had noisy neighbours who kept late hours that disturbed the family with children. He put speakers close to the wall which was their bedroom and very loud music early in the morning and then went out for half the day. Nothing was said but It worked, much more civilised thereafter.

Fight fire with fire. You have nothing to lose?
You need to show them that you will not be fucked about.

My son has some understanding but again, try to calm him down and all hell breaks loose. He's 3 and ASD and is a very loud child at the best of times. He doesn't understand volume the way we do and if you tell him to be quiet, it's not going to work. It's not something that can be changed with scolding a child or punishing them. Especially when SEN is involved.

We have had SS called. And the police and all it's done is create a huge amount of anxiety on my part and the police traumatised my son.

No they haven’t, they’ve just moved in and the landlord had everything done for them beforehand but not really relevant. I don’t think you’re getting the point really that surely it’s about having the right to a little peace and quiet. I’m not expecting the kid to be quiet all day but it would be nice to have a little amount of time! There’s a couple of kids a few gardens down that play pit and I enjoy listening to them laughing and playing but this shrill shrieking is a different level! I hope you enjoy your relatively quiet home I’m envious!

I agree with that to a point ... but working from home when homes were not built with that in mind is also a contributing factor and they need to learn to cope with everyday residential noise if they choose to work from homes in a built up neighbourhood. People have lives and make normal, everyday noise in their homes. This includes noisy children.

This sounds very similar to my nearly three year old.

He likely had additional needs, but we're stuck on the very long assessment waiting list for now so I can't say much more than that.

There's not really anything I can do about it. I constantly try and encourage quieter noises, but his receptive language understanding is poor enough that he has no real idea what I'm on about. And at the same time, his speech therapist is very keen for me to encourage noise-making as his range of speech sounds is very poor.

So whilst I want him to be quieter for the sake of neighbours and good manners, it's very hard to encourage low volume whilst also simultaneous trying to encourage him to make sounds.

Ultimately, I'm not going to hinder his development for the sake of my neighbours. Sorry!

My son is the same age, doesn't have any special needs, and screams/screeches/cries all day long. Whether he is tired, excited, happy, or not happy... It seems to be his natural response to everything. It drives us bonkers, and on top of it his little sister has now started to get into screeching competitions... for fun!

We do feel sorry for the neighbours, but there nothing we can do more than teaching him not to do it, calming him down when he is having a tantrum, and telling him again and again to calm down. It will take time for him to understand, but it will pass eventually. Under 3 is still very very young.
What we can't do, which would be very efficient I'm sure in the short term, is giving in every time he wants something.

By the way, an idea for you, our neighbours got a puppy... "in retaliation" (he said that as a joke, obviously).

I had a similar situation - new tenants rented the house behind us, gardens back on to each other. Mum, nan, and 2 young girls similar ages to mine.
The kids were wild. Constantly in the garden shouting and screaming. Never doing anything at a regular volume. Always ignored by the mum, but the nan did at least try to keep them quiet.
They then went through a stage of having friends round daily during the holidays, which meant hearing their friends all day long too. They were so loud and so repetitive that I actually knew their friends names better than the names of my own children's friends! It was honestly such a level that we couldn't enjoy our own garden during the nice weather.
Covid hit, I began WFH. Things settled a bit as they had no visitors. When they announced we could have garden visits during lockdown my heart sank.
Things returned to normal, with the added stress of me attempting to work through it also.
There was one day when the noise was honestly 8am - 7pm, non stop.
The next day I took my laptop to work the furthest I possible could from them, and it was still unbearable.
I kind of lost my cool, went to an upstairs window and called out to the mum, asking if they could keep it down a bit. Explained that the noise is a crazy level, I'd heard it all day the day before and I didn't want to spend all day hearing it again. She responded that they were kids, and I said 'yup, I'm aware - I have 2 of my own and I don't allow that level of noise from them, we have neighbours'
She didn't say much, but it did get a whoop from our other neighbour 🤣 the nan came round to talk to me, I explained that I was super close to calling their landlord and she apologised.
Anyway, since then - next to nothing. And the odd time there is a lot of noise it's not an issue, because it's no longer all day, every day.
No one expects silence from their neighbours. Just a bit of common courtesy.

We're the same, and had my son wake up in the middle of the night screaming for an hour not being able to understand what happened. at one time. I would try to take him to the other side of the house, downstairs as far of the shared wall as I could. But the neighbours probably still heard.
He will randomly stim in the shops by clapping and vocalising. I used to feel bad about it and being judged, I dont give a crap now. We are very lucky though because people.
We developed a very thick skins over the last 7 years.

Except it's not actually the same, because in OP's case the kid is 2-3 years old!

I wonder at what point the council noise control would become involved? Probably wouldn’t do anything as it will be seen as a child playing but a visit from them may get the parents to address it. Shrieking would certainly be above acceptable noise levels.

@Bearbookagainandagain which is why I used the word similar.

This is the stock response to this scenario. I’m quite sure the parents find it extremely difficult but this is about OP’s comfort. I don’t find it acceptable to say “others have it worse so I’ll shut up”

You need to firstly go and find out what the issue is.

If this is a child with severe SN for instance it’s possible that you won’t be able to do anything.

My parents had an issue with a child at the back of them throwing rocks over their fence into the garden There was a real risk of damage as they have a greenhouse and a conservatory which, if they were hit by a rock could do some serious harm.

My mum went round to speak to them,and it transpired that this is an 8 year old with severe SN, non verbal, unable to be reasoned with, and at the time this was lockdown when he was out of his SN school and completely disoriented with the garden bein the only place he had access to.

The woman was a single parent (the fathers need seem to be present) and really wasn’t coping.

In time they removed all the rocks from the garden, and the child still screams (he’s twelve now) but he’s back in school and spends less time out there. But there needed to be understanding, not judgement.

If someone had a screaming baby for instance nobody would be saying that the parents need to deal.

In terms of advising the OP to go back into the office, a residential home is not an official workplace, yes sometimes it is possible to work from home, but if the house or the environmental factors make that difficult then you don’t work from home.

I'm not dense. It's not acceptable for a neighbour to cause that level of disruption all day long.