Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

New neighbours moved in next door a few weeks ago. They have a young boy I’d estimate age 2 to 3. He shrieks virtually all day and evening, not in a crying upset way, more in play and excitement but it’s ALL.THE.TIME!
Theyre out in the garden and he’s shrieking (can’t think of another word for it) or kinda singing to himself in a really high pitched loud tone, and when they’re inside he’s doing the same. We live in small terrace houses and can hear loudish noise through the walls. I work from home 3 days a week and it’s driving me to distraction. We can’t sit out in the garden as it’s constant. I appreciate he may have some additional needs but surely the parents would be aware of the noise and try to reduce this? He is definitely verbal as I hear him chatting to his mum. Apparently the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad leaves for work early and comes back quite late so there’s been no interaction between us since they moved in. WWYD? The noise is driving me insane but I really don’t want to be insensitive

@ButterCrackers sorry I realised you weren’t saying parents of autistic kids were shit parents who let their kids run wild - I completely misread. I’m that used to hearing it now I just jump to conclusions 🤦🏻‍♀️

If it is SN it might be impossible to stop the shrieking though.

You're working from home...that's your issue. He's in his home.

We have neighbours who let their kids scream and scream all the time, fortunately detached houses so we only hear when they're outside, which is in all fecking weathers, girl about 6, boy 3-4. Never heard anything like it, can't believe parents like this who don't discipline their children at all . It's not just the odd scream or shreik as happens during play, but constant. We have to close all windows when it starts, and still hear it through our well-insulated walls and modern double glazing. Can't sit outside on a fine evening as scream time can go on till 10 pm. I console myself with the thought that at least these twats get to experience this indoors as well. They're also not doing their kids any favours with the lack of discipline, it's no wonder so many teenagers have problems when they grow up thinking the world revolves around them, and then find out it doesn't. I feel for you OP, can't imagine having this through the wall..I hope you can find a solution.

I assume by yowling and keening you mean kids with autism, in which case their parents telling them to shut up would either have absolutely no effect or make things worse. You do realise that these kids literally can’t help it- unlike the thousands of other people in public who behave antisocially (swearing, spitting/ hacking, playing music)?

People aren’t jumping on the bandwagon, autism is being diagnosed more because we understand it better now. Also, as any parent of an autistic child will tell you, getting a diagnosis isn’t easy!

Yes you’re right. And I guess we should cut them some slack, it’s probably not their fault that they’re ignorant, uneducated and rude. Probably down to their upbringing.

Except that being a parent of a disabled child is the one bandwagon no one wants to jump on.

Just talk to them about it! How will they know unless you communicate it’s annoying you?!

You have my sympathies.

We had neighbours like this. It was unrelenting and miserable and in desperation I wrote them a letter. It did get better a little but not entirely

DH does a lot of Zoom meetings and clients could hear tthe children screaming in the garden, despite him being inside with the windows shut. It really was loud and happened alot. sometimes as late as 10/11pm.

They moved last summer. I felt like having a party.

I'm a teacher and it is definitely possible to stop children screaming like this, even young ones. Unless the child is ND, it's not an involuntary thing the child does. They can be taught to be considerate...

Unpopular opinion, but in my experience,
its normally a case of poor/not enough parenting. (Possibly because they're exhausted from the screaming!)

@rosesinmygarden
They can be taught to be considerate...

And you say it as a teacher 😑You obviously teach in mainstream with little experience of some ND children.

I think it's quite unlikely that the 2 or 3 year old child will have a diagnosis of anything yet.

I think threads maybe draw people who have children with additional needs, because reading through it seems like way more children have additional needs than don't. I don't think that's the case, and if it was then the behaviours that are associated with additional needs become the expected.

Since this is not the case then I think it's reasonable for OP to talk to the neighbours. It might be down to lack of awareness, poor parenting or any other issue that could easily be resolved.

We have similar. Neighbours told us to get fucked. I have contacted environmental health.

@rosesinmygarden you don’t teach two and three year olds though, do you?

You can’t really teach a two year old to be ‘more considerate’ 😂

She literally said "Unless the child is ND, it's not an involuntary thing the child does. They can be taught to be considerate.."

Most children attend mainstream school and are not ND, therefore most children can be taught to be considerate.

I don't have a solution OP. You'll be told on here that you have to put up with it but I'm not sure why people don't think that you should be able to enjoy your home and garden. If it was someone playing crap music loudly you'd be getting a different response. We lived next door to a child with autism during lockdown. They were in the garden screaming from dawn until dusk. Yes it's hard for the parents but it's also shit for the neighbours. We couldn't have the windows open due to all the rooms that could be used as an office facing the garden. We just stopped using the garden all together.

Yes you can. A two year old can learn not to run up and down the stairs, they can learn to be quiet if their newborn sibling is asleep, they can use their 'inside voice' when they're visiting the grandparent in the nursing home, they can be aware of other people around them in a cafe and sit still for a period of time.

I’m sorry, but I’m just going to say it. People who let their children do this are completely selfish arseholes and shit parents. YANBU.

Please read my post.... all of it. You clearly haven't.

A two year old can be distracted / forced / cajoled / intimidated / removed from or away from a situation.

But there is no way a two year old can be taught that Mrs Jones is enjoying sitting in her garden and your noise is stopping her from doing that.

My DS is now 3 years nine months and he can be reasoned with sometimes but not a year ago.

We’ve had screaming neighbours for 10 years. Lucky not immediate neighbours.
The 2 children used to spend all day screeching and shouting at each other in the garden.
It’s greatly reduced since they are now teenagers, now it’s only if they have a friend round. However I spoke to one of their neighbours and apparently it hadn’t stopped it’s just indoors now and sometimes will start early in the morning and go on into the evenings, they also slam doors constantly.
The neighbour changed her rooms around to get away from it and stays over at her daughters (who had 4 children) for some ‘peace’.

The dad is also incredibly loud. I think some people have zero thought for others and he seems to like the sound of his own voice/being heard. The neighbour told me the mum is always trying to get others to take her children, or go out to get away from them. Rather than tackling it.

We have this with a kid over the back. He’s about 7 and I’ve been told he has ADHD. When he’s home he spends all day charging around the garden yelling. His parents positioned a trampoline as far from their house as possible - which is as close to ours as it could be. On occasion I’ve looked out the window to check no one is being murdered to see him doing things like throwing a football at close range directly into his younger brother’s face. Unsupervised of course. Whatever needs he has, he’s a little shit and his parents are big shits. I’ve heard they’re moving and couldn’t be happier.

I'm early years trained actually.

Absolutely you can teach 2 and 3 year olds basic manners. It's part of parenting and it's backed up at school.

I was going to say that the child wouldn't know it was being taught consideration, but when I thought about it I changed me mind. A two year old would certainly feel puffed up if they were praised for not waking their baby sibling.

Yeah, knowing they haven't disturbed Mrs Jones is unlikely, but we teach our kids in steps, and you start early.

Just because the child doesn’t have a diagnosis of additional needs, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. That’s actually the hardest part, when you know your child is ND but you don’t yet have a diagnosis, and therefore everyone just assumes it’s down to bad behaviour and poor parenting. We barely left the house at that stage as the judgement from others was just too much to handle (although from reading these threads it’s clear that you’re being judged regardless, even when in your own home). My child was diagnosed at 3, by the way.
And yes, these threads (and MN as a whole) does attract more parents of ND kids. That’s because there is very little support in real life, so people look to online forums for that support (and still get judged, and told they’re jumping on a bandwagon).
Now I’m not saying the child has additional needs, I have no idea. I’m just saying that a lack of diagnosis doesn’t mean a lack of needs.