Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

New neighbours moved in next door a few weeks ago. They have a young boy I’d estimate age 2 to 3. He shrieks virtually all day and evening, not in a crying upset way, more in play and excitement but it’s ALL.THE.TIME!
Theyre out in the garden and he’s shrieking (can’t think of another word for it) or kinda singing to himself in a really high pitched loud tone, and when they’re inside he’s doing the same. We live in small terrace houses and can hear loudish noise through the walls. I work from home 3 days a week and it’s driving me to distraction. We can’t sit out in the garden as it’s constant. I appreciate he may have some additional needs but surely the parents would be aware of the noise and try to reduce this? He is definitely verbal as I hear him chatting to his mum. Apparently the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad leaves for work early and comes back quite late so there’s been no interaction between us since they moved in. WWYD? The noise is driving me insane but I really don’t want to be insensitive

And yes, my NT children absolutely could be taught consideration for others at that age (and were), but my 6 year old ND child doesn’t have anywhere near that level of understanding yet.

Teaching two and three year olds is a process, and I agree you can teach them basic manners but it isn’t going to happen overnight and it’s harmful in the extreme to be constantly correcting and (for want of a better word) badgering children. ‘Be quiet, keep your voice down, don’t shriek, don’t scream, shush, hush, be more quiet, look, you’re disturbing the neighbours ...’ Not only is that unlikely to be effective it’s actually harmful, and is likely to result in children being either surly and defiant or miserable and cowed depending on their character (my ds would be the former, my dd the latter.)

It isn’t really possible to reason with a two year old. Early years trained or not (and you did work in a primary school and two year olds aren’t routinely at primary school; plus you’re now an 11 plus tutor) ‘discipline’ at this age is mostly distraction and removal from dangerous situations. I’m not adverse to a firm ‘no’ but the problem with something like screaming is it can quickly turn it into a bit of a power game and is often best ignored.

YANBU. I live in a block of flats and have it with my NDN who moved in recently. They have a child who visits every day and shrieks constantly. Her parents let her stand in the hall blowing into a recorder. When it’s time to go she often has a tantrum right outside my front door which will go on for half an hour or more which, apart from being unbearable to listen to, is really awkward when I need to leave my flat. Sometimes the parent also obstructs my door with a pushchair and children’s shoes. It’s horrible.

Kids that age don't have much self control. You are talking about an age where many can't notice when they need the loo, let alone monitor their own loudness.

If they sometimes scream as a 'behaviour' you can teach them that we dont do that, but if they are naturally loud (like my DC who is also a bit deaf) you may not be able to change it.
If you have a loud one you can tell them to stop but they may just go back to loud mode next time they open their mouth. It's like old people who are deaf and yell at you, often they can't manage to tone it down- nor can a toddler

I'm sorry it would drive me mad too but there is probably not much to be done. It is a home and not an office after all.

I thought this about our neighbour’s kids.. but no.. got worse and worse as they got older and developed horrible, spoilt attitudes! We’ve moved now but one of them
was always crying, screaming outside but the parents would ignore them and just let the entire street hear their tantrum. I WFH and Covid was an absolute nightmare daily!!

This thread just shows how far society still has to go in terms of accepting people with unseen disabilities. If my child was physically disabled I wouldn’t have anyone telling me I was ‘jumping on a bandwagon’, that’s for sure. But that doesn’t mean my child’s disability doesn’t cause him (and us) untold difficulties, that I would give anything for him to not have to face.
We do our very best to not allow my child’s disability to affect other people, but he deserves a life too, and we’re not going to lock him away in case his noise affects someone.

I have. The fact you think nd children can be somehow taught to behave is really misinformed. If you work in mainstream with more academic children you have very little experience about this.

This. Find a place to work.

I have neighbours like this. Only mum though. Dad arrives home and sound levels reduce to normal happy noise. Mum ....yelling as she's incapable of moving to be near to anyone ....she just yells top volume....music full blast, swearing loudly...very short fuse with kids.

It's noise that is not necessary and is impacting her neighbours. I can't see why anyone thinks making loud noise trumps their neighbour's need to work at home, sleep, think etc.

Well done for stalking my posts and therefore believing you've discoverered my entire work history and know all my qualifications and work experience. Gold medal.

I agree about reasoning. That comes later. Best to keep things simpler at that age. As a parent though, you're an adult, and can definitely show consideration for your neighbours.

Home is a place to work? (Sleep rest etc) Why should she move out rather than a child behave? Noise is a nuisance. It's not normal noise. It's beyond this

its called "quiet enjoyment" and yes in the Uk it is a right. The way to enforce it is through the council noise nuisance facility. It doesn't mean that there can never be any noise but "excessive disturbance" can certainly be addressed.

Where would people have us families with noisy ND children live, so that we don’t affect others? Maybe we could start a colony and all live there together, like the lepers did.

A lot of people are fixating on the WFH thing. I WFH and I agree that it doesn't entitle you to demand that neighbours don't make normal family noise - the point is this doesn't seem to BE normal family noise. And it's very unlikely that OP is the only one affected!

Would all of you defending the child's right to shriek continuously with no attempt at parental intervention feel the same if the OP was recently postpartum and she and her newborn were being woken constantly? Or was terminally ill and unable to rest? Or very elderly and vulnerable? Would you still say they just need to move or get ear defenders??

is working from home illegal? No is the answer. Is making disturbing loud noise 24/7 illegal - the answer is yes

I haven't said this.

I always thought that noise from children was not considered a noise nuisance by local councils? I could be wrong

I also imagine those who complain about children playing in their garden are the types who tut about the fact that children are stuck inside on computer games...

I have experienced this too. Situation only ended when the parents split up and Mum moved out. Now when the kids are there with dad the noise level is normal.

Exactly!

I am retired and also wouldn’t like having to hear that level of noise and not be able to sit in my garden and enjoy it.

That's not what quiet enjoyment means - that relates to a tenant's right to love in their rental property without interference from the landlord.

You can still try and raise it with the council under noise control but unless it's outside the hours of 7am - 11pm you won't get anywhere...

The mother not learning English is disgraceful

Get a grip

it can be depending on the loudness and duration. Children at play no, constant screaming maybe. It does also depend on the council.

Why is the answer to screaming kids disturbing neighbours always that the neighbour needs to disrupt their own lives to pander to shit parenting?
It's ludicrous.