Shrieking child next door ALL DAY LONG! WWYD

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

New neighbours moved in next door a few weeks ago. They have a young boy I’d estimate age 2 to 3. He shrieks virtually all day and evening, not in a crying upset way, more in play and excitement but it’s ALL.THE.TIME!
Theyre out in the garden and he’s shrieking (can’t think of another word for it) or kinda singing to himself in a really high pitched loud tone, and when they’re inside he’s doing the same. We live in small terrace houses and can hear loudish noise through the walls. I work from home 3 days a week and it’s driving me to distraction. We can’t sit out in the garden as it’s constant. I appreciate he may have some additional needs but surely the parents would be aware of the noise and try to reduce this? He is definitely verbal as I hear him chatting to his mum. Apparently the mum doesn’t speak English and the dad leaves for work early and comes back quite late so there’s been no interaction between us since they moved in. WWYD? The noise is driving me insane but I really don’t want to be insensitive

My son has very, very little understanding of speech and if I told him it's not OK not to make sounds (which is the way he stims) he would understand exatly zero of it, it just makes him more distressed. And we have been trying different things for years. I no longer 'calm him down' in public.

This argument 'my kids are also ND and therefore I know everything there is about it and they dont do this..." is so shit when it comes from other parents of ND children, if YOU dont understand that neurodiversity can present differently in other kids than yours, how can we expect peopel with NT kids to get it.

That is good advice. I was working at a house for two days a few weeks back and a lad (12 ish) a few doors down schrieked all day long. It drove me potty in that short time, anyone working nights or just wanting to enjoy their garden would have been driven mad. I have misophonia though so am intolerant of such noises, maybe they don't bother others as much.

Id absolutely love for my child not to be autistic, sorry our lives are so boring and tedious for you to read about...

To be honest ASD or not, if he’s two then … he’s two. I might be able to reason a bit with my three year old now and bribe him a bit (not guaranteed though) but no chance at two.

My youngest DC does this, he has Echolalia. There is no way to stop him making noise, but there is these fantastic acoustic squares you can get off Amazon for relatively cheap. I’ve put them all over every adjoining wall and the ceilings. Granted they don’t look overly aesthetic but they have saved my amazing neighbours sanity. Could you suggest them to your neighbour? It won’t solve the garden noise but will absolutely reduce it in your home (but they need to be on the neighbours side of the wall, not yours. They prevent noise escaping, not noise entering).

edited to include link: amzn.eu/d/ba7ZL5T

Aw, don't worry, it's OK. Just fed up of people jumping on the bandwagon.

No one should have to but sometimes it’s the only option. You can’t force people to be quiet. Unfortunately 😅

Ask them to pack it in.

Will help for a bit.

I find a ten minute blast of music at high volume sends the neighbour kids scuttling inside very quickly. They don't like it.

Selfish parenting is everywhere now. For example in the past weeks I’ve experienced kids being allowed to make as much noise and disturbance as possible on trains. The neuro diversity argument is just an excuse for many parents. They themselves have their phones stuck in their hands with music/social media on loud and paying no attention to their kids. This didn’t happen even a few years ago. If parents don’t start parenting then society will go even more down the drain.

I don't think OP needs to say she's trying to work. The shrieking impacts her right to enjoy her home. And you can be polite w/o apologising.

However, reading this thread makes me think that in general people don't care anymore, or we all just need to accept that the shrieking children might be ND so we have to wear noise cancelling headphones.

I'm so glad I live where I do (just a regular village in Essex). I live among lots of terrace houses i.e close to each other. There are quite a few children. I love hearing them play. They can be loud, but there's a big difference between excited, happy children and day long shrieking.

Perhaps there are additional needs and he can't stop. My neighbours have an autistic DS who spends hours at a time groaning while bouncing on the trampoline. I wouldn't dream of complaining.
Or he's just a noisy toddler and they haven't realised how annoying it is for other people. Start by having a word. Alternatively, find somewhere else to work. Terraced houses aren't designed to be quiet workplaces.

You need to talk to them.

What a little shit. We have a kid like that nearby too but it's not all day. Can't stand her!

All of this chat about ASD and whether the child has special needs is also not really correct- the vast majority of kids with special needs won’t be diagnosed aged 2/3 as it’s simply too early to tell for most. And let’s be clear, no one can be screaming outside constantly, let alone a 2 yr old they’d be dead by now (and even the OP mentions singing).

There are loads of things neighbours have done in the past to annoy me, like smoking, loud music, parties, cars which they revved up on the drive at 6am every morning, kids playing basketball, elderly people leaving the TV on all night really loud. Notably one set of neighbours did a full side return/ loft extension when we were all in the house during lockdown. It’s just a part of living cheek by jowl as many of us do. Of course fine to have a word politely but the indignation and criticising of parenting seem a bit OTT plus the expectation of workplace conditions at home.

This. I initially posted having skim read and assumed OP had already done this, hence my suggestion of noise-cancelling headphones and to suck it up. But to not even have spoken with them and have all of these posters branding the neighbours as “selfish” is nothing short of ridiculous. Sometimes we have to be adults and address things we have an issue with.

My sister's house backs onto a house where a child with autism lives. It's very, very clear that the child has additional needs. The child's parents have spoken to their immediate neighbours. The child can't help the noise she is making and their parents aren't apologising for their daughter, but the parents have acknowledged that it disturbs others. Just speaking to each other helps everyone to be more tolerant and accepting.

This is a tricky one. I have a child with severe ASD who shrieks all the time. I genuinely am at a loss as to how I could stop it, and trust me it is awful for me to listen to, too. We have spent £1000s on occupational therapists etc to try and figure out ways to reduce his noise, to no avail. All I can hope is that he grows out of it one day.
Thankfully we’re in a detached house, otherwise I’m sure our neighbours would be saying the same.

Same. All this ‘jumping on the band wagon’ stuff… why would anyone want their child to be autistic?!
I haven’t had a full nights sleep in 6 years. I can’t leave my child unaccompanied for even a second as he’d injure himself (or worse). I can’t give my other children the time and attention that they need. I go to work every day having had 2 hours sleep the night before, then get home and have to go through the whole thing again. My child will never live independently, so this is my life now.
But yeah, absolutely jumping on a band wagon.

They’ve probably spent money and time on their garden too! You both have the right to enjoy it, them for their young child to play. Have you tried having a quiet word with them yet or discussing it- I wasn’t clear about that?

@ButterCrackers I strongly disagree with that. All parents of autistic kids I know (myself included) go out of our way to manage our children’s behaviour and disturbances as much as possible. Not one of us would let our child run riot on trains or in any kind of public setting. The kind of parents that do that are the kind of parents that don’t give a shit about their kids or other people and are likely not to have any kind of diagnosis, it’s just bandied about to excuse their shitty parenting.

You always get some arsehole claiming Autism is a bandwagon. I think they should probably count themselves lucky they’re so ignorant!

Ofc these people know better than the medical professionals!

Agree. It must be difficult for parents who have kids with such health problems to see it being used as an excuse by others. I have seen the difficulties of parenting a child with autism. It’s a tough job.

Echolalia due to ADHD or ASD. The problem is that it's part of the natural state of being unmasked, similar to stimming. Some kids literally talk or babble to themselves every second they are awake, and more unfortunate cases will be shrieking or screaming. They can be forced to learn to be quiet but it's essentially a form of masking which isn't healthy on the long run. Since it's not directly your problem anyway, you should invest in noise cancelling headphones or play some background music/white noise at home. Once the child is old enough for nursery or school there should hopefully be more peace.