Does my DH want me to look ugly

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I had to create an anonymous account for this post. I am by no means a supermodel and have always preferred comfort over style. I do not want to look unattractive, but cannot be bothered waking up earlier every morning just to look perfect. I do not wear much makeup, keep my hair short and avoid spending a fortune on clothes.

My husband has supported how I look and thinks many women spend way too much time on their appearance. He has always preferred my hair short and out of the way and has no issue with my body type (not skinny and has gotten fuller over time). He also tends to complain if I take too long getting ready. I never found this all that unusual.

I recently brought this up to a friend and mentioned how my DH likes my hair better cropped short. She found that odd and sort of implied that she thinks my DH wants me to look less attractive to other. I know she was not saying this to be unkind, but was still put off by it.

@booisbooming

its no different to women preferring long/short hair on a man or facial hair/tattoos etc

🙄🙄🙄

Very true. We don’t know.

My friend looked stunning with her sleek bob and got lots of attention suddenly her partner wanted her to grow her hair a bit.

My friends even acknowledged it’s an insecurity thing on his part.

Not saying she doesn’t like nice with her longer hair but she just looks a bit more glamorous and sophisticated with the bob.

Why do so many people have to have an opinion about your hair 🤯

Have it how you like it for yourself.

Your friend was essentially criticising your hair. Like people saying someone is ‘brave’ for wearing a certain outfit.

I think if my husband said he preferred my hair one way, I would be inclined to do the opposite. But I am quite old and contrary these days!

Many people look stunning with short hair. My gen Z daughter included.

What do YOU want op? Do you want to be with short hair and no make up etc? If so great crack on. My mums like this. If it’s driven by husband to look a certain way - then not great and maybe that’s what she’s saying?

You're just as bad as OP's friend bitching about long hair. It would be nice if we accept everyone is different.

Most men hate thick caked on make up as they see it as a kind of mask . They think women are hiding something. They much prefer natural looking women .

I agree to an extent. Not sure about witchy though, there are some elegant longer styles for older women.

My hair's been short for years because it's not easy to control when it gets longer, it's on the wild side!

Longer styles drag my face down and make me look older still. A few years ago I had it chopped shorter from a longer bob and a very old family member said he thought it took ten years off me 😃

Im sticking with the "witchy woman aged flower child ' look. Don't see what's wrong with looking witchy and I look like a potato with short hair.

There is NO NEED to big yourself up by putting other women down. And frankly, that applies to your husband as well

Umm, his preference is you with short cropped hair, your friend obviously has her opinion, why even question what your husband likes, if everything is fine and dandy?!!

If its not broken, don't fix it!

Yeah, but you're agreeing because you suit your hair short whereas for some of us it's the opposite. I have a sticky out ear and a cowlick so I look really, really ugly with short hair - I genuinely do suit it better long despite my age (60) 😱 We're not all gamine like Audrey H.

LOL, just saw your edit with the witchy disclaimer 😁Fair enough. We're all different.

My husband and I have been together 26 years and have never discussed the men or women we find attractive.

I'm not gamine either! It's not like Audrey Hepburn's, it's like a short layered bob.

What do you think of Becky the ITV weather forecaster's hair?

(Mine's not that short btw)

Most men have no idea how much make up a woman is wearing. On my first date with dh he commented that I didn't wear much make up...I had a full face on.

It was just well applied and not garish.

Your friend is a dick and is probably jealous that your husband doesn’t dictate what you should look like.

Ignore her.

@SweetShreddedCoconut

lol they don’t.

they like well applied, natural makeup.

makeup is literally designed to enhance facial features so yes most of us do look better with it. It’s what it was made to to do!

My DP prefers my hair short. I've had a crop with an undercut and a very short pixie cut before, and currently a very short, 1920s style bob. He likes them all much better than the long hair I had when we met. He just says he thinks short hair is more stylish and 'more interesting'. When I had my pixie cut he said he liked it because it made me look like 'a girl in a cool French film in the 1960s'

It certainly isn't about him 'wanting me to look ugly'. I actually love makeup and I also quite enjoy clothes etc - I dress quite edgy/alternative and I like doing different makeup looks. He generally tells me I look nice when I've dressed up. He's certainly not one of those awful men who sneers at women for daring to care about their appearance.

So some men absolutely want to make you look (and feel) less attractive. Only you know which kind your DH is. Liking short hair is fine. Insisting on it and shaming you for spending time on your appearance would be a red flag…as unfortunately would judging women who spend more time on their appearance than you.

Yes, absolutely 100% this.

You need a new friend! My DH preffers short hair, but that's because his first crush was Samantha Carter from Stargate. He'll settle for me ;)

I had a pixie cut for some years when I was younger and my husband loved it. I have long hair now, at 60, and my husband loves it. Because he loves me. He has thick salt and pepper hair. I’d love him if it all fell out.

I suspect your “friend” is a tad jealous that you have a partner who loves you whatever.

See you started off nice about short hair then insulted long hair. Don't shit on others while boosting your own choices, you can do it without bringing anyone else down.

You can't understand that some people don't like to get up earlier in the morning than they have to?
I value 5 minutes in bed more than 5 minutes of applying makeup.
Other people are free to have different preferences.

Lots of men will say they like natural. I'm "natural" in their book, with my waxed legs, highlighted hair, light fake tan, waxed and tinted eyebrows, straightened, whitened teeth....

Yeah so often men will claim a particular woman is bare faced and every woman can tell immediately that is not correct 😂 in
most instances they’re wearing “natural looking” or “neutral” make up.

Years ago some random train conductor said he loved how natural and makeup free I was which was a. Inappropriate and uncalled for and b. Probably false as I usually wear makeup if I’m going on the train somewhere.

"Better" is subjective.

If you think you look better with makeup, then apply it to your hearts content.
But don't ensure that your view of beauty is universal.

On my wedding day, my MiL said it was unusual to see a natural bride who'd done their own hair and make up, I don't think it was a compliment 😆