Was I being unkind? Women filming themselves in their pants

[LivingInStrangeTimes]

I was scrolling through tiktok and came across a video of a woman showing a jumpsuit outfit which she is reccomending people buy.

The strange part to me is that the video begins with her standing there in tiny knickers and a bra then she gets dressed into the jumpsuit.

I perhaps shouldn't have said anything at all but left the following comment

"You look lovely. I'm not being unkind but why has it become so normalised to upload videos of ourselves in our underwear? You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment x"

Cue a pile on and her getting pissed off because apparently I'm only saying it because of her body type - which had absolutely nothing to do with it for me. We actually look quite similar in the buff!

I'm seeing more and more of these videos and it has become the new normal and done thing on social media for people who want to show clothes, to stand their in their pants beforehand and have you watch them get dressed.

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

"I want to show you this dress, but first here's my knickers!"

Edited to add - I mention women specifically because I'm not seeing any of these videos from men.. and nor do I want to 😐

AGentleMusing

So you think we should all cover up - what parts should we see? Eyes only? Or going full Taliban on us?

Agreed. If anything, they will have a better idea that bodies come in all ages, shapes and sizes. I doubt many 13 year olds would watch it with any interest.

Men objectify women. This reduces women to simple body parts. Men sexualise these body parts.

The conversrion has moved on, as far as I was aware, from jumpsuits to women posting semi naked videos of themselves on SM generally.

Women, especially younger, inexperienced women, do this because this is what they have early confident, attractive and desirable women do and who doesn't want to be that?

Rape myths rely on a number of sexual stereotypes about women and sex.

Women are regarded as 'flaunting' their bodies rather than just having one; school girls are criticised for the way they look on their uniforms etc because of the way the female body is oversexualised.

When women complicit in this oversexualisation of their bodies, posting naked, semi naked videos online. It supports the idea that womens bodies are simply sexual. It validates the idea rather than challenging it.

A rape myths prevail.

So I'm not saying that women are to be blamed for being raped but I am saying that when some women choose to present themselves in a highly sexualised way, believing it to be 'empowering', it reifies the idea that that women do deserve it.

Some of you are spectacularly missing the point.

The point im making isn't that dressing modestly will keep you safe or that wearing reveling clothes will get you raped so it's the victims fault.

My point is that when women objectify and sexualise themselves in exacrly the same way that men do, they are in cahoots with the very same patriarchal system that you are blaming. The one that relies upon and supports the oversexualisation and objectification of women.

What sort of question is that? I'm an adult.

My point is that when women objectify and sexualise themselves in exacrly the same way that men do, they are in cahoots with the very same patriarchal system that you are blaming. The one that relies upon and supports the oversexualisation and objectification of women

My advice to you would be to stop doing it then and stop being in cahoots with the men.

@AGentleMusing, rape is commonplace in those countries where women are required to cover themselves entirely. Legally, it isn't rape unless the victim can procure four male witnesses of good character 😒 Unsurprisingly, there are few prosecutions, especially since a woman who admits to being raped can be convicted of something like promiscuity. Approx 2,000 women are in prison in Pakistan for alleging rape.

"Modesty" doesn't protect women, it criminalises them and protects men.

Perhaps I'm not a genuine, but I can't figure out why she's doing this. Are you saying it is obviously narcissism, exhibitionism, or similar?

How often do you witness women sexually objectifying themselves in exactly the same way that men do?

Go watch some misogynist trash about women. Read the comments. Listen to some yobs in the pub going on about women asking for it and what they'd like to do to them. Hell, even listen to some rape jokes. Tell me you've ever seen more than a couple of (very damaged) women talking about themselves like that.

This person has done just that tonight. She is as bad as they are.

Which person? The one trying on a jumpsuit?

Whatever planet you're on, I don't like it there.

This type of gormless people have lots of 'followers ' so I'd probably not bother watching them. Whatever you say won't go down well with the followers.

The one who said this causes rape and backed the men who excused rape for this reason.

No idea her name but she supports excusing such criminals.

You are not able to tell the difference between your opinion and a fact. There are myriad reasons why women enjoy their sexuality. It's not all about men tricking them into enjoying it. For example, burlesque dancers. If you go to a lot of burlesque shows, you'll notice that the crowd is about 90% women. Women enjoy dressing up to feel attractive, myself included. Some women like to take that to a degree that you may not agree with, but no one died and made you captain of the morality police.

You've taken something that should be treasured and celebrated about women and tried to turn into something shameful and dangerous. A woman's body is not a battleground. It's her own to do with what she wants, whatever you think you should be able to dictate to her (- the irony!)

Oh, thanks. Phew!

Why bother writing something like that?

You knew it wouldn't change her videos? So just to try and shame her?

@Josette77 I wonder if there are some who just feel powerless as to what is happening online at the moment and just want to shout out ' go away,stop it'. A knee jerk reaction as such

I don't think OP went into this clutching pearls wearing ankle length pleated skirt, socks and
Sandles hoping to make it a moral crusade.

I find myself telling the TV to bugger off when I'm forced to observe things I just don't want to! ( Yes I know I can get up andswitch the TV off and leave the house but I'm a house bound defective unfortunately).

I need go find an example of this video 😊

I would just like to preface what I’m going to say by stating that I am also a 90s baby and turned 31 last week so we are roughly the same age.

I think at this age if you can’t work out that TikTok is poisonous, indoctrinating trash then you are being unreasonable to consider anything on there appropriate or reasonable. I think it should be banned and no one under the age of 18 should be able to access it. Certainly at the very least people should not be allowing their teenagers and children to access it.

I think the very least of societies trouble with social media lie with people putting a video up of themselves getting dressed into a jumpsuit for a GRWM video. It’s not my cup of tea personally but it’s a drop in the ocean by comparison to all the rest of the content that’s on there. Misinformation, conspiracy theories and people’s malicious agendas are spread like wildfire unchecked with so many people (not just the young) soaking it up like sponges and regurgitating it back out like it’s the absolute truth and normal. It’s so harmful and dangerous to people of all ages and TikTok believe is the worst for it. So many people are being brainwashed it makes me feel so sad and I genuinely dread the future because of it. People may believe that’s an overreaction but they are my feelings nonetheless.

People like the woman you describe are more than aware that they are opening themselves up for criticism which they will receive.
Any comment negative or positive generates revenue for them and they won’t care about what anyone has to say about them because being a ‘social media influencer’ regardless of whether we think they make themselves look a prat or not makes them money and that’s what they care about. Attention through views and comments like yours will literally give them money straight into their back pocket. If it’s not something people want to see then they need to stop interacting with them because it only fuels their cause.

At the end of the day you don’t have to look far on here to see people fall over themselves to make derogatory assumptions and comments degrading peoples situations and life choices even when the threads are not of a particularly sensitive or emotionally charged nature. I think it’s important to note as well how this is an anonymous forum and people still believe they have the right to police other people’s business just because it’s on the internet. You didn’t have to comment, you could have just scrolled on. What you said will have absolutely no bearing on their life whatsoever but you have shown your openness to judge an adult for putting a video up of themselves no less dressed than they would be wearing a bikini on the beach.

In my experience the worst people for walking around the most exposed and barely dressed in public are young adults, teens and preteens. You’ll struggle certainly where I live to find many over the age of thirteen appropriately dressed. I honestly don’t know how their parents can allow them out in public the way that they do. They allow their children to be vulnerable to sexual predators and I think it’s absolutely disgraceful on their part.

I’m aware I’ve gone off on a tangent but my point is that if a grown adult who is fully autonomous and informed makes a video like that and plonks it on the internet of their own free will then that’s their choice and other people shouldn’t have the right to police other people’s decisions as long as it’s not hateful, discriminatory or illegal. Yes, the law has a long way to come for certain things but to compare this to slavery, sex trafficking, rape and such the like is a gross false equivalency and horribly undermines the experience that victims of these crimes suffer. It’s ignorance at its finest and just plain wrong.

In short, I do believe adults should adequately parent their children and make the effort to ensure they are aware of what their children are doing and not exposing themselves both in person and online to dangerous, nefarious people. If people did that then the other adults who didn’t want to see such content could just scroll on or hide the video and move on to a better algorithm.

It's one thing to object to so much flesh being on display generally. It's quite another to target that general objection at a single woman on Tiktok. I fail to see how making personal comments, about just her covering up, will solve the problem you perceive in semi nudity.

She is just one woman, who is comfortable with her body, trying to make a few quid in a world where you have to make your living wherever the opportunity arises. People are making money with influencing, sponsorship deals, making commentary videos and such because the world is changing. How people make a living is changing. If covering oneself from head to toe in a giant burlap sack made money, she would be doing that instead.

YABU because you made it personal. No need for that. There are plenty of men making horrible comments to women on the internet, clothed or less so, without other women joining in.

It’s usually ‘creators’ trying on ‘hauls’ of fast fashion manufactured in dodgy conditions, destined for landfill after a few wears. I’m longing to see stand up comedians do their best to mock this form of content into oblivion 😂

The fashion vloggers I watch are all wealthy and don't buy fast fashion.

They are much wealthier than me!

I could try..?

I actually love videos like this. I see so many more body types than those I grew up seeing in the nineties.

There's a few people I follow who have a bit of a tummy and it is so refreshing to see people with a body more like mine.

It's not like she was naked.

OP, it really is a valid question. You're evidently scrolling through 'sick shit' your words, and complaining about the content on here.

If you don't want your children to see it perhaps you ought to consider setting an example by not engaging with the cesspit you seek to shield them from.

After all, you're the adult.

It’s funny how if the tik toker was a man in his underwear trying some trousers no man would have open a thread complaining about being outraged. As this thread proves sometimes women are our worst enemies.

The Internet is full of harmful and disturbing content. Your position is that if somebody doesn't want to see harmful and disturbing content they shouldn't use the Internet full stop? What a low effort conclusion.

As an adult I'm prepared to risk seeing things I don't want to see in order to watch the content I like to watch. I'm just not prepared for my kids to take that same risk.

Do as I say not as I do.